From fleeting food trends to snooty servers, here are 14 things Laurie Notaro and Robrt Pela can do without.
Five Things That Can Instantly Ruin a Meal
"I had barely taken off my coat when our server, whom I recognized as the owner with his Rasputin beard and plaid cowboy shirt, asked politely for my drink of choice. They have a full bar with special little cocktails they concoct with items that are supposed to impress people, like Pine-Sol and bark." — Laurie Notaro
Phoenix Does Not Need Another Pizza Concept!
"It wasn’t especially nice of me, but I couldn’t help myself. After reading a press release touting the latest in the endless parade of pizza franchises, I called the publicist listed on the release.
"`Please tell me you’re kidding,' I begged." — Robrt Pela
5 Things Restaurants Need to Stop Doing Right Now
Do not mess with a woman who collects salt.
"I want the wait staff to stop interrupting me right before I get to the punchline of my story. In public, I would knock you down for that. Right to the floor, like we were in Wal-Mart." — Laurie Notaro
OMFG, It's a Salad with Its Very Own Public Relations Campaign
"The only thing worse than a state salad is a state salad with its own acronym, which ours also has, as of recently. The former chopped salad, which some claim Chef Bernie Kantak of Citizen Public House and The Gladly 'invented' some 20 years ago while a chef at Cowboy Ciao in Scottsdale, is now officially known as The OMFG Salad." — Robrt Pela
Quit Messing with Mac and Cheese
What happened to good, old-fashioned mac and cheese?
"The internet is full of bad, bad things people have done to mac and cheese while referring to themselves as "innovative." I actually saw a mac and cheese meatloaf, and if you think that sounds horrible, it looks even worse." — Laurie Notaro
Is Poke the Next Cupcake? And How Long Will THAT Last?
"I shouldn’t get too excited about the death of the cupcake trend — or the wind-up of any food fad, for that matter. Because food trends always come back. Always. The worst ones, too." — Robrt Pela