"The man that hath no music in himself," wrote the poet, "is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils. Let no such man be trusted."
There's no shortage of wisdom about music's uplifting charms. It can "soothe the savage breast"; it's the "food of love"; it's the "speech of angels." One strong-minded philosopher flatly states that "without music, life would be a mistake."
My own experience furnishes a somewhat less exalted insight: Music goes great with dinner. Good food plus good music can add up to a lot more than the sum of the parts.
A couple of new spots in town are banking on the idea that lots of folks share my attitude. Both All That Jazz and Azz Jazz Cafe are taking simultaneous aim at our ears and palates, looking to create sensory harmony. I can report that the weekend music at each place swings. But I'm not quite so unreservedly upbeat about the food.
If this were 1998, All That Jazz would be in a knockout downtown location, right between the new baseball stadium and America West Arena.
In 1995, however, the location is a good deal less than ideal. Blame ballpark construction, which is tearing up the area. My group had about as much trouble making our way here as Dorothy's group had getting to the Emerald City.
Once we arrived, however, we found ourselves in a genuinely attractive setting. All That Jazz tries to look as sophisticated as a Cole Porter tune sounds, and it pretty much succeeds.
There are cool black accents on the napkins and chairs. There are hammered-tin panels on the ceiling. Big windows run the length of the room. (One day, they'll look out over swarms of urban pedestrians. Now they look out over construction equipment.) The musicians perform in the far corner, visible and audible from every table in the restaurant.
Although the music we heard ran mostly to standards ("I Get a Kick Out of You," "Call Me Irresponsible"), the fare we ran into was anything but standard. All That Jazz is one of the few places in town that serves Caribbean food. It's a very clever concept, but it's a daunting one to execute. The only sea we're surrounded by is a saguaro one. And when we hear of something being "jerked," it's our legislature, not chicken, that first springs to mind.
You can get an initial taste of the islands from the Caribbean sampler, an appetizer platter that usually offers bites of four of the six menu starters--but the kitchen had inexplicably run out of plantains. A Caribbean restaurant running out of this staple is like a Chinese restaurant running short of rice. I suppose that's one of the hazards of operating in the desert Southwest.
I have another reason for wishing the plantains had shown up: The other three combo items didn't rise much above bar-food quality. The mozzarella sticks (what are they doing here?), chicken strips and jerked wings aren't nearly as zesty as the music.
Fortunately, the callaloo is. This intriguing West Indian broth is fashioned from pureed spinach and okra, and studded with bits of crab. Black-bean soup with bell pepper and tomato also seems like a better first-course option. Offbeat dinner rolls flavored with curry make good soup-dipping material.
The main dishes have two things going for them. First, price: Most are in the $15-to-$17 range, not bad considering that they come with entertainment. Second, size: I can't imagine anyone leaving here hungry.
Unfortunately, one thing the entrees don't have going for them is much hard-hitting Caribbean character. Perhaps the kitchen uses an extremely light hand with island spices because it doesn't want to scare off people unfamiliar with Caribbean tastes. I think that's a miscalculation. The food should sing; instead, it mostly hums.
The Bay Island red snapper illustrates this point. Two large slabs are deftly grilled, properly moist with a crisp edge. But the fish comes up short on the taste buds. I couldn't detect even a whiff of the promised orange sauce. Diners seeking the flavors of the Caribbean would be better off ordering a rum and Coke.
Port of Spain curry chicken has a great name. In my mind, I imagined an island of swaying palms, where gentle waves lap white-sand beaches. The menu description reinforced the reverie: "Caribbean chicken and savory potatoes in a Madras sauce served over saffron rice with a side of mango chutney and fried plantains." Alas, the dish itself couldn't sustain the vision. That's because it consisted of some blandly curried chunks of chicken and potatoes, with unexceptional rice and mushy black-eyed peas. Both the mango chutney and plantains were missing in action.