In a near 17-minute YouTube manifesto, Mark Phillips, founder of Palcohol, explains how we've all got it wrong. He even shows how to use a Palcohol pouch. Though the company currently is not accepting interview requests, this exhaustive video says pretty much all we need to know about the perceived media witch hunt and strict regulations against Palcohol with "Prohibition-like measures."
Here are the highlights:
Like we said, the video is over 16 minutes long. We understand if you don't have time to wade through it, though its entertainment value is pretty high. If you do watch, you'll see that Mark Phillips has some serious misconceptions over how Palcohol got its big media debut.
First off, he claims that the media focused on the negative elements of Palcohol -- such as snorting it and being able to sneak it in to sporting events and the like. He says the bag is too big to sneak into events, so that claim is unfounded. However, it was the original Palcohol website that actually said that you could snort it, which he brushes off as "edgy" marketing.
"You won't get drunk faster by snorting powdered alcohol and you'll go through a lot of pain," he says in the video. "There's absolutely no reason, even for an irresponsible person, to snort powdered alcohol."
He's probably underestimating the irresponsibility of some people.
Around the four-minute mark, Phillips demonstrates how to use Palcohol, which is meant to be shaken in the bag rather than added to a bottle of water like a boozy juice box. After an obligatory "ahhh" after sipping his "Cosmopolitan," Phillips shows the versatility of his product. You can drink it out of the bag. You can drink it with a straw. For an "elegant" experience, you can garnish your bag-o-booze with a lime wedge. Whoa. Fancy.
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Another misconception we all apparently have is that Palcohol takes a full minute to stir into a drink so no one could ever spike someone else's drink because a minute is forever. But let's stop focusing on the negative, y'all. Palcohol is a "life-saving" gift from the gods and you can see why in this video:
Spoiler alert: You can maybe even use it as windshield wiper fluid. Ew.