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Laurel: Everybody loves Larry.

Bite Me: Are the hours good?

Laurel: Well, I deal with a lot of international sales, European Webmasters, so I'm up early. And then usually I have to hang out with a lot of people in the industry after hours, so it's a lot of hours.

Bite Me: I hear you have to show up on time and with nylons. It's a hard-core professional work environment. (Bite Me had a friend who worked for Flynt Industries and the poor gal was sent home once for not wearing stockings. Uh, irony.)

Laurel: Definitely, very professional.

Bite Me: So what'd you eat tonight?

Laurel: Caterpillar roll, spicy tuna roll, albacore.

Bite Me: Groovy! So what are you all doing here tonight?

Laurel: A bunch of us are in town for an adult Internet convention. It's the first night, so we're really mellow.

Bite Me: What do you think of Phoenix?

Laurel: Ya know, I haven't really scoped it out too much, but I have some friends who live in Phoenix.

Bite Me: You'll like it here. It's turned out to be much cooler than I thought it'd be. Who are all these people with you?

Laurel: I'd say 70 percent of us are from Southern California, from Orange County to San Diego to L.A.

Bite Me: There's a pretty big market for adult, er, entertainment here. I was kind of surprised. These Phoenicians are wild. So what's the difference between Hustler and Playboy?

Laurel: I think Hustler is a little bit more candid.

Bite Me: I think so.

Laurel: Hustler shows a little bit more pink. It shows more pictures of the girl next door. Playboy is more of the glamour, a little bit more airbrushed. (Hustler shows more pink. Laurel said this so matter-o-factly. But hey, Hustler does show more pink. And she noted that Laurel was pretty generous with her assessment of ol' Hef. Cool people, these porn peddlers.)

Bite Me: Totally! I was at the Wax Museum in Hollywood when Hugh Hefner was there for the unveiling of his wax statue. I was standing a few feet from him and there was no difference between him and that statue. He's not just airbrushed, he's wax. Just like the chicks in his magazine. I swear, the seven blondes standing next to him looked like wax, silicone wax. Not real in the slightest. It was some eerie shit. God bless Larry! I love what he's done for free speech. Freak bastard!

Oystin Wright

Business owner

Bite Me: What do you do?

Oystin: I own a couple of companies.

Bite Me: You in porn?

Oystin: Yeah, a little porn.

Bite Me: Hmmm. A little porn. That's nice. So, what are you doing here?

Oystin: I'm here for a porn convention.

Bite Me: So are you really busy with your, uh, companies?

Oystin: I wish.

Bite Me: You've got great hair. Do you cut it yourself?

Oystin: My wife cuts it.

Bite Me: Is she a hair stylist or does she just do it for you?

Oystin: She just does it every morning, styles it, and puts some balm on it to set it.

Bite Me: Gotta keep it real, but it's hard to believe she wants to keep you lookin' good when you're going to a porn convention out of town. You've got an open-minded wife, buster. But maybe she just don't want you lookin' schleppy.

Oystin: That'll work.

Bite Me: Huh. Forget it. What does your wife do?

Oystin: She works for an airline.

Bite Me: Which one?

Oystin: United.

Bite Me: Are you scared to let her fly?

Oystin: She works ground crew, so no.

Bite Me: What exactly do you do?

Oystin: I own one technology company that works for the mainstream industry. We mostly make the mainstream and the adult industry talk to each other because they all have the same idea. They wanna make money, right?

Bite Me: Who doesn't?

Oystin: So we make them talk to each other, act as an intermediary. The mainstream people feel comfortable talking to the adult industry through us because we know the technology. So we make it all work.

Bite Me: I think you're good with people. Are you?

Oystin: Sure. (Bite Me wonders if he's good with people or he's just, ya know, pretty. She's not sure.)

Bite Me: And you're pretty. Are you German?

Oystin: Ja.

Denise Boyncon


Bite Me: What do you shoot?

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