Shelf Life: Gummy pig parts

By Wynter Holden

There are a few horrible fads that I wish I could erase from my memory. Like those singing fish plaques. Furbies. Parachute pants. And this:

Shelf Life: Gummy pig parts

Somewhere along the line between Survivor, Fear Factor and the Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods, watching other people eat disgusting, scary food became fashionable. I mean, it's one thing to be glued to the set when some regular Joe is facing his fear of spiders or braving a 50-foot waterfall jump. That's inspiring. But seriously, does anyone really need to watch another human being down a plate of live caterpillars?

I sighed aloud when I saw this gummy 'pizza' (and I use that term very loosely) with decorative pig parts in a local grocery store. As if the look of it wasn't bad enough, this Fear Factor candy is advertised as tasting like "bacon, and other amazing flavors." Ugh. Yes, I tried it. And worse, I suckered a friend into trying the pig liver and heart area just so I wouldn't have to.

The sugar content was so high that I practically got buzzed, which was sadly a saving grace for this awful concoction. It had a gross, sweet bacon-y flavor tinged with what reminded me of new plastic. You know, like the way a new wrapped plastic toy smells the first time you take it out of the package. I'll stop now before I start to throw up in my mouth a little.

I was reminded of the good old days in my fourth grade cafeteria, when I was the kid you could pay to mix pizza, soda, jell-o and mustard in one glass and take a sip. Yeah, it's cool when you're eight, but when you're an adult you just look like a pig. Oink, oink.

Hey readers, what's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: