1. Measure out the rice you need. A pound of uncooked rice will make enough sushi rice for several good-sized rolls. If, like The Virgin, you've got a house full of people who think that being served raw fish is always a cooking error, feel free to cut the recipe in half. It just means more sushi for you.
2. Pour the rice into a pot or deep bowl half-filled with cold water and use your hands to move the rice around in the water until the liquid turns a sickly grey. Don't be alarmed that your rice is so nasty; remember what makes it grow. Rinse the rice and repeat a few times.
3. Leave the rice to soak for about an hour. Go for a walk, get some laundry done, read a book. Or get so hungry that you go out for lunch while you're waiting for your damn rice to be ready.
4. Give the rice a final rinse and strain. (Hint: DON'T use a colander, or the grains will escape down the drain and you'll have to wait another effing hour.)
5. If you have a rice cooker, skip the next few skips and follow the instructions on your machine. Actually, if you have a rice cooker, why the hell are you reading this blog? Clearly, your equipment is decent enough that you probably have the skills to make sushi rice without The Virgin's help.