Taco Bell: Hey, remember that lawsuit filed against us a few weeks ago saying that we use a "meat mixture" containing less than 35 percent meat?
Fast Food Nation: Um, sort of.
Taco Bell: Well, check this out, it's our new Quad Steak Burrito and Quesadilla, made with real USDA Select beef! Real-friggin'-beef!
Fast Food Nation: That's nice. Hey, aren't these beef-loaded items less a new concept and more a sad attempt at lawsuit damage control? I mean, essentially, the Quad Burrito is the Steak Burrito Supreme times four, right?
Taco Bell: Release the meat-mixture hounds.
Here's the 4-1-1, quad-curious TB fans: Taco Bell's Quad Steak Burrito is packed with steak pieces, seasoned rice, fire-roasted salsa, reduced-fat sour cream (hahahahaha! . . . sorry, that gets me every time), and cheddar cheese, all wrapped up in a flour tortilla. The quesadilla has the same ingredients and (surprise!) four times the amount of beef than TB's Steak Quesadilla.
Lawsuit or no lawsuit, Fry Girl wants to know does four times the beef mean a better burrito? Quesadilla? Let's find out.
The Pros: Both the Quad Steak Burrito and Quesadilla pack beef in every bite versus a lot of rice which, let's be honest, is usually the case with a lot of Taco Bell items. And if a swollen stomach is the end goal of your Taco Bell experience, mission quad-accomplished.
The Cons: Even if it is a thinly veiled attempt at lawsuit damage control (and it is), shame on Taco Bell for not creating a real beef treat that even hints at being interesting. Essentially, these items are just meat-bloated blahs sporting over 600 calories each (the burrito is 690 calories) and costing about five bucks. Message to Taco Bell: Stop thinking about the lawsuit and try thinking outside the bun, something you keep telling us to do.
Would Fry Girl Order One Again: No way. If I want a $5, decent-tasting beef burrito that doesn't reek of lawsuit, I'll take my chances at Chipotle.
What say you, quad-eaters? Have you had Taco Bell's Quad Steak Burrito or Quesadilla? What did you think?