Chow Bella

The Daily Meal's "20 Food Topics that Won't Die": We'll Take the Hint and Quit with the Bacon

 we went on a little bit of a rant about a bacon wrapped matzoh ball. It was just too much and we couldn't contain our disgust any longer.  Of course we still love bacon, but we don't want to write about bacon or even look at photos of bacon, we just want to eat bacon -- and in moderation. 

Today, while cruising around on the interwebs, we found a post on The Daily Meal titled "20 Food Topics That Won't Die". We thought we had all 20 pegged before we even clicked on the link. We got a few right, but after we made it through all 20, we were a little embarrassed. 

In our defense, there are a few topics that we haven't even touched upon, 

like the closing of elBulli (that was like so 2010), foie gras (sure it's cruel, but in a tasty sort of way), and whether or not you should go to culinary school (probably not).

Then, there are a couple things we don't even have to mention because, well, the topic just isn't up for debate. Who mak's the best pizza? We do. East Coast or West? West, duh. In-N-Out, Shake Shake or Five Guys? What the hell is a Shake Shake? We'll go ahead and stick with In-N-Out, thanks. 

But we're no saints. We have beaten a few topics to death and we're sorry. 

First, there was the time we poked fun at the over use of the "Gluten Free". We thought it was funny, but looking back we realized that some people genuinely didn't know that popcorn was gluten free. we may or may not have gone overboard, regardless we'll keep it to a minimum on the gluten front. 

The next couple topics we'll fully fess up to abusing the fuck out of -- bacon, cupcakes, and the term "Blank is the New/Next Cupcake". We have accused S'More's, pie, and a slew of other foods of "being the new cupcake". It's time we just accepted that the cupcake isn't going away, no food can truly be the next cupcake, and we should just leave it alone. So we're done. No more cupcakes. (unless they are incredibly ridiculous or are true works of art) and no more bacon, (unless we need to sculpt another person face out of pig. Just kidding! Maybe.) 

As far as the rest of the list -- we're in ARIZONA. Food trucks are new to us and we're still super excited. Locavorism, grass fed beef, organic -- it's too freaking hot to grow stuff here and when we can do it, and eat it, we're stoked. Maybe you New Yorkers have been able to get a freshly picked carrot for sometime now, but up until about two years ago, the last time we had a fresh carrot was in 1986 from our hippie parents' backyard garden. 

And as far as fast food goes, please point us in the direction of one person (aside from yourself) who doesn't want to hear about the next triple fried meat monster and then we'll think about letting the next big fast trend go.

We're hoping for a Tapatio Dorritos taco or a KFC's Double Double stuffed with barbecued pulled pork. What about you?

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Shannon Armour
Contact: Shannon Armour