Top Chef Just Desserts Episode 5 Recap: Clique Clack, Clique Clack!

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Compared to last week's episode of Top Chef Just Desserts, Wednesday night's episode was fairly drama-free. Take a break, ambulance drivers and tissue box suppliers -- this one's for you!

We start the show with Yigit announcing his "Team Diva" clique, which includes himself, Zac, and Heather H. Huh? When the hell did this happen? Whatever. While no one except Team Diva cares about Team Diva, Team Diva let's you know it's Team Diva with Zac shouting, "Go Diva!" every five minutes. Please, it's only amusing for Team Diva. Enough already.

Quickfire Challenge:
Wolfgang Puck's executive pastry person, Sherry Yard, walks in with Gail Simmons (Hey Gail! I'm starting a clique called "Go Gail!" and you're the president and I made you a bracelet from strands of my hair so we can be BFF's forever! Our first meeting is in my dreams -- just kidding! It's at your place. Can I get your address?) and announces the chefs will be creating their own soufflés. Everyone is nervous 'cause soufflés are tricky and Sherry tells Heather H. that the perfect soufflé is like a unicorn . . . which makes everyone nod, smile politely, and secretly want a hit of whatever Sherry Yard did before the show.

Spoiler alerts ahead, y'all!

The challenge ends up with Zac and Heather H. on the bottom (where's your "Go Diva!" now?) along with Erika. Danielle, Morgan, and Yigit make the top three with Yigit's chocolate soufflé and passion fruit dessert getting the win.

Elimination Challenge: Gail informs the chefs that it's Fashion Week in L.A. and they'll be making edible fashion. They have to create an edible couture dress and two couture petit fours to be sampled by L.A.'s top fashion folks. Who? Don't know. Since Project Runway moved back to New York this season it could be anyone.

A cartload of shoes is wheeled into the kitchen and everyone goes ape shit. Morgan says he's not like the rest of the divas (translation: fags) and could care less about footwear. Good for you, Morgan. Please keep reminding us how you're not a homosexual.

As the chefs are getting their fashion-on, Johnny walks in and announces the winner will receive $20,000. More ape shit. Yigit admits he kind of creamed his pants when he heard the announcement. Thanks, Yigit. Please go back to joining Zac in shouting, "Go Diva!" and never speak of that subject again.

Team Diva was hatin' on Morgan's dress, for real. Heather H. said Morgan was a pig and Zac said the dress was too simple. Meanwhile, Morgan's letting everyone know he's a heterosexual male. (sigh.) Please come out already.

Eric was struggling to get his dress to not look like shit, Heather C. and Danielle decided to try out for Top Chef Just Vegetables by making their dresses from non-dessert items, and most of the chefs' petit fours weren't petit at all and required a detachable jaw to eat in one bite.

Judges Table:

Top three: Yigit, Zack and Morgan. The judge's liked Yigit's Bjork dress, Zac's burlesque warrior dress, and thought Morgan's dress-made-by-a-heterosexual was hot. Morgan wins and Team Diva loses. Go Diva? Not so much.

Bottom three: Eric, Heather C., and Danielle. Eric admitted that the challenge was difficult for him, but Heather C. and Danielle stuck by their veggie-dresses even when Dannielle Kyrillos said that Heather C.'s looked like a drunken sorority girl made it -- ouch!

Heather C. is eliminated...again...and the world can go on living without hearing the drone of her constant whining.

Tune in next week when Morgan makes really, really, really, sure everyone knows he's a heterosexual by flexing his muscles and accidentally giving Heather H. a fat lip.

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