5. Cereal Now, you wouldn't be a bachelor if you didn't have cereal in the house. Just like when you were in grade school, cereal is now your best friend. It doesn't make much of a mess, it doesn't require any cooking and it's filling. What more could you want? Of course, spoiling milk can be an issue. Which is why it's coming in at a measly number five.
4. Frozen fruits and veggies You must get some greens as a single person. In fact, most of what you eat should fall into this category. This is not a health suggestion, this is purely for vanity. Carbs, dairy and meat make you fat and therefore, less attractive (according to societal norms). So reprogram yourself now and make this the food group you run to when you want to indulge and over-eat. Which will happen often because no, they don't want to get back together with you and no, they won't be calling you after that first date and yes, they will tell all their friends you were bad in bed. Buckets and buckets of ice cream are not the answer. Save that for when you're in a relationship and you can "let yourself go".
3. One frozen pizza Yes, just one. I don't care what brand or what kind of topping just make sure you only purchase one. Now, this pizza is for emergency use only. Do you hear me? Emergencies! Of course, by "emergency", I mean this should only be eaten when you and a pal have stumbled out of the cab and into your apartment after a loooong night of drinking and you are absolutely starving because you, naturally, skipped dinner to look hot in that slutty dress. So this is the only time you are allowed to eat pizza. Nothing cures a booze-y belly better than a greasy pie of carbs, grease and cheese. And, under these circumstances, you might get lucky and barf the thing up before the calories set in.