Talking (to) Trash

As a Cleveland Browns fan, I've spent lots of time trash-talking Steelers faithful. When your team's 2-17 against their team, you feel justified in bad-mouthing them. Cardinals fans are, mostly, peaceful people, unaccustomed to the level of hostility they'll encounter in any run-in with members of the yellow-and black brigade. Here are some insults you can use so you don't resort to taunting them about the weather like a fucking idiot:

• "Hey, glad they let you off your shift in the coal mine to watch this game! You must have seniority!"

• "Iron City's the shittiest beer ever brewed, perfect for washing down those French fry sandwiches at Primanti Brothers."

• "You know what separates Cardinals fans from Steelers fans?" Then, open your mouth, point to your teeth and say, "They're all real, baby!"

• "Did you borrow those pants from Kordell?" (Steelers fans get fightin' mad when you invoke Kordell Stewart, the former Steelers QB who was long rumored to be gay, even though he denies it and is married).

• "Man, Willie Parker's running well. Your uncle Billy Bob must have cooked him up some of the good meth before the game!"

• "Did yinz see that? Did yinz see that? Wow, I hope yinz saw Larry "Sticky Fingers" Fitzgerald catch that ball!"

• "Is that one of them official Terrible Towels or just the rag your mother uses to mop up the video booth after her shift?"

• "How many generations of inbreeding do you think it took Bill Cowher's family to get a kid with a chin like his?" (Cowher's no longer the Steelers' coach, but he won the last Super Bowl and is God in P-burgh.)

• "Big Ben's not gonna to remember his mama's face if he takes another big hit. He'll be hugging the first wrinkled skank in cut-offs he sees."

• "You're drinking beer out of a cup? Security must've taken your Mason jar."

• "Don't go back to your car; I heard 'Dookie' Davenport's in there!" (Former Steelers running back Najeh Davenport did community service after he was charged with breaking in to a sleeping coed's dorm room and taking a dump in her closet.)

• "Man, I'm surprised you can cheer so loud with black lung!" (Any authentic Steelers fan's got at least a cousin or two who's died from the terrible disease.)

 
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Katie
Katie

Dude, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?????How dare you insult Steeler Nation! We have some of the best fans around and our team has kicked your ass...how many times was it? Apparently, too many to count. I'm only 13, and I've always loved watching the games, but when you even try to go bashin us...we'll always be the ones to come out on top in the end. Our team and city are so much greater than yours, and they always will be. I'm soooo haapy to be a Steelers fan!

And, also, another reason why we love Pittsburgh? Wow, you need another?

Its called the Penguins. So, see? we have a great football team AND a great hockey team. What do you have?

Neither.

Kathy
Kathy

What a lame ass writer! Sounds like a PO'd 9 year old! LOL!!!

Peggy Stenglein
Peggy Stenglein

Martin, I think I'm the one talking to trash. I hope you find something positive in your life so you can let go of you obvious anger and bigotry of people you don't know anything about. I'm happy your "out of my league". I'd be embarrased to be in it. Have a happy one!!

andrewsmom
andrewsmom

You know Marty, I honestly don't think you care about your current hometown team (Phoenix Cardinals). You are just a bitter Browns fan. Admit it, you are a loser - the people of Phoenix have more class than you do.

tera
tera

Must suck that the only thing you can do after the cards loss is talk about another city. Those "classless" steelers fans are not out talking smack on cardinals "good weather" diehard (ha) fans, oh yeah maybe because we have better things to do, like celebrate a SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONSHIP....better luck next time trying to insult us. My niece could have done better than you!

Marcy Roberts
Marcy Roberts

You are a fuckless moron, Cizmar. My grandfather and uncle were killed in the mines and my father has black lung. You think that's funny?

I challenge you to come to Sixburgh and make those comments in a public forum, Mr. Courageous.

Ryan
Ryan

As a Steeler fan since 84 and from the UK i could,nt give a care about the stick.I,ve been welcomed by the Steeler nation and glad to part of the best family in the world and so it pains me to read the usual jealous rants by you AFC North rivals..Well i say rivals but you actually have to try and win more than a few games a season.I don,t think the Cleveland Clowns have much to say about anybody do you?

As for the Cardinals well it,s painfully obvious you are a mediocre team who froze on sunday night by the sight of a hardened battle ready team.You cannot come close the the Steelers!!! Now i,m gonna enjoy my six pack and get ready for next seasons STAIRWAY TO SEVEN !!! read it and weep also rans !!

becca
becca

first mccain, and now the super bowl. you cant do anything right arizona.

russ
russ

now matter how hard you try you will never be like the six time world champion STEELERS. dick head!!!!

CoalMinersDaughter
CoalMinersDaughter

Having grown up 40 miles south of Pittsburgh, I am not a Pittsburgher per say, never had a Primantti Sandwich, although I hear they are wonderful. I don't say Yinz or Stillers or speak the way that some Pittsburghers do but I find it charming in it's own odd way. I don't drink Iron City Beer or have dentures or missing teeth and I certainly don't think Kordell Stewart is gay and I certainly don't agree with most of the other garbage and nonsense that is written in your silly little article.

I can usually laugh this crap off, consider the source as they say, and just chalk it up to good natured ribbing or just call it bitterness or jealousy. But your attacks on several very sensitive issues do seem to require comment. Some things truly are tabu and should not be joked about.

I grew up in a coal mining family, I lost many relatives to black lung. It's a horrible disease that involves pain and suffering and a great deal of misery, right up there with the likes of cancer. Would you make fun of cancer victims? NO, I seriously doubt that your job would be there the next day if you had but you can take your nasty shot at black lung victims and think it's funny. You don't know how many lives have been destroyed, how many families have suffered simply because a man worked an honest days living at a job in a very dangerous place to provide coal to our nation and to put food on the table for his family and yet you find humor in the resulting illness that comes with working in the mines. Sick, very sick.

And which of Ben's mothers are you speaking of? Do we dare hope that you did not know that his biological mother has been dead since he was a child. No one could be so cruel and heartless as to insult a young man's mother who died when he was only 8, a woman he still pays tribute to in each and every game by sending a kiss to heaven in her honor when he does well, as a remembrance to her, to honor her. Right? You're not that sick are you? Or is it his step mother, a woman who has raised him and has loved him and whom he respects and loves back that you're ridiculing? Either way, not so good on your part. Would you want someone doing the same to you? Can we make fun of your dead mother? Would you find humor in that?

And finally, how can you dare to speak badly of Myron Cope? He was a fantastic man, someone who could have made a fortune off of his Terrible Towel yet he chose to give that money to charity, a school for mentally disabled children instead. Have you ever done such a selfless, considerate thing? After reading the hate that's spewed from you I seriously doubt it.

We here in Southwestern PA are very proud of our heritage, of our hard working blue collar people and of our football team. Articles like you, full of jabs at us usually are harmless and most of us can laugh them off with good humor, we all know there's plenty of funny things about us that can be pointed out and to be joked about. Too bad you didn't pick any of those, you chose the nasty sick twisted side of the fence, picking on a good charitable man, a boy who's mother passed away and hard working coal miners who suffer from a horrible disease. Shame on you.

Dr Stone
Dr Stone

How does a Browns fan keep from masturbating?

He rubs black and gold on his dick and then he´┐Żll never beat that again either.

Dave in AZ
Dave in AZ

Steelers fans,

It was a great game played by two great teams. Please don't think that the tool that wrote this speaks for any of the actual fans here, there are a few that knew we had a team before December. He's just another dumbass writing for a free paper nobody reads. At least anyone that does gets there money's worth.

VLR
VLR

LOLOLO...woohoo...sourgrapes to you Martin. So did ya move from 'THE MISTAKE ON THE LAKE' to the barren landscape of the desert in Phoenix to escape 'STEELER NATION'...NOT!! We are everywhere!!!!!!!!!! Heard through the Steeler Nation network that after the game there were Steelers Fans everywhere in the metro Phoenix area celebrating our "SIXTH" Superbowl Championship!!!! BOO HOO..TO YOU I have no class Martin!!! Totally agree to a comment from a commentator to this posting that what kind of local newspaper would allow a low life classless person as you to use the "F" word in an article to trash Steelers Fan...talk about white trash..so do you kiss your mother with that mouth!!!!

xyoursanctuaryx
xyoursanctuaryx

"As a Cleveland Browns fan" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Thank you for making me smile there douche.

Six-Burgh
Six-Burgh

One more thing I want add to my previous comment(KARMA IS A B**CH).My name is Emanuela,I am from Sicily,moved in Pittsburgh two years ago. I Love this city and I call it "my home". As sicilian I can tell you the i take this kind of words very offensive and very personal. I love the people here,hard worker,lots of immigrants (like me),very open mind and intelligent people and I love the Steelers,they are good kids (Love you guys!). You know how we call people like you in Sicily? Un masculu ca non sapi puttari i pantaloni (A man who doesn't know wear his pants.I think it would be in US: a man who doesnt' have a "pair"?).My husband had both grandfather died of black lungs,Ben's mom "left" him when he was a child. Personally I lost my dad 4 years ago at a very young age (different reasons). Where I am from, offend or only mention somebody else parent is very very "bad" thing to do.I am getting very upset and better don't make this comment any longer.

Emanuela a proud Pittsburgh resident

Jenna
Jenna

Wow, aren't you one bitter douche bag? What a pathetic article. It's nice to know that people all around are jealous of our amazing football team and our wonderful city! No one else can say they have earned 6 rings can they? Keep the faith in your team buddy, maybe one day they'll actually win a game...although it will never be against us. :D

Jenna
Jenna

Wow, aren't you one bitter douche bag? What a pathetic article. It's nice to know that people all around are jealous of our amazing football team and our wonderful city! No one else can say they have earned 6 rings can they? Keep the faith in your team buddy, maybe one day they'll actually win a game...although it will never be against us. :D

Six-Burgh
Six-Burgh

I am surprise you have a job and they let you write. Wow! I am quite sure the only place you will ever write will be on here.You should have a drink or two so the pain of the loss or whetever your pain is, will go away. I would say more,but there is not point to tell you what you are,i am quite sure you would not feel offended. KARMA IS A B**CH!

Jen
Jen

Wow! Those insults were the worst and would so hurt the soul of any Steeler fan. HAHAHAH Puh-lease. Reading your article was 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

jerry
jerry

I just read some of your comments about steeler fans, I Throught THERE COMMENTS ARE SO FREAKING DUMB IT SHOWS HOW PEOPLE IN PHOENIX ARE AS SMART AS A BOARDER JUMPER. YOU CAN'T BE THAT SMART IF HAVE A SENATOR ASSWIPE McCAIN THAT PICKS A PULL DANCER FOR HIS RUNNING MATE. BY THE WAY YOUR COACHES CAME FROM PITTSBURGH AND THAT RECIEVER HE CAME FROM PITT ALSO. WHY DON'T YOU SHOW SOME CLASS LIKE YOUR TEAM.THATS RIGHT PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN PHOENIX DON'T HAVE CLASS THEY HAVE WANT A BE'S.

Abbey
Abbey

As someone who was born and raised in Pittsburgh but graduated from Arizona State, I have experienced both places. The reason that all your Cardinal fans are mild and so-called "polite" is because most of them just jumped on the bandwagon this year. They aren't passionate about their team. I'd love to know if they could name the whole defense. In AZ, University of Phoenix Stadium almost didn't sell out for the first playoff game and it wasnt going to be televised! In Pittsburgh, if the Steelers played the high school football team it'd still be a sellout. I find it outrageous that instead of just accepting a loss and talking normal trash about the team you attack a whole city of people that you know nothing about. Yes, it used to have steel mills and be polluted and it has shitty weather but now it has some of the most prestigious universities and hospitals in the country.Not to mention genuinely nice people who arent focused on Ed Hardy. Please don't trash a city based on generalizations, it just makes you look dumb and ignorant.

ChrisC
ChrisC

I heard of this article on one of Pittsburgh's news websites and had to check it out.

I must say I'm thoroughly disappointed. I was born and raised in Pittsburgh. After high school, decided to stay and attend Univ. of Pittsburgh. However, despite all of this, I'm not a Steelers fan-Never have been. BUT this article is not simply teasing and a few jokes against Steelers fans, it's an attack against Pittsburgh's people. Pittsburgh is a city full of kind hearted and hard working individuals. If you ever befriend a "Pittsburgher", you've made a friend for life. Despite what your article states, this city is not "country"-we've got our teeth, the steel mills closed a long time ago and I haven't seen a coal mine anywhere in Allegheny County (by the way, that's where the city is located-if you didn't know!) So, come on, leave "Pittsburghers" alone! And better luck next year!!!

Jennifer
Jennifer

So sad that you are sooooo jeleous of Pittsburgh! Feel bad for you!

Amanda
Amanda

You can say anything you want. We still have six rings.

Amanda
Amanda

You can say anything you want. We still have six rings.

Lisa Barker
Lisa Barker

My comment is in regard to Martin Cizmar's article titled, "Talking (To) Trash written on January 28th, 2009. Mr. Cizmar's language in the article is vulgar and classless. I am a Steelers fan and read his article in my local paper. I was aghast when I read his description of all the fans as trashy, loud and vulgar. Gee, it takes a lot of imagination to throw in comments about Iron City Beer, Primanti Brother sandwiches, and flip comments about relatives having black lung. How original. Guess what Mr. Cizmar, I have a college degree, I don't have any relatives that have worked in the steel mill, but I would have been proud if they had and oh yes, I do have all of my teeth. Steeler fans encompass many different economic levels and races, but we all have one thing in common, we are very proud of our Steelers. I never once read an article in any of my local papers degrading the Cardinal fans. In fact, I think Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald are very talented players. I was elated to see the Cardinals playing the Steelers in the Super Bowl. It was an exciting game.

It's too bad that Mr. Cizmar wrote this article about my beloved City and the Steeler Nation. He obviously, doesn't know the first thing about good sportsmanship.

Unlike the jerk who wrote this article, I won't assume that all Cardinals fans and Arizona residents are as ignorant and malicious as Mr. Cizmar.

Thank you,Lisa BarkerSixburgh, PA

Jeff
Jeff

Cleveland just put in a Primanti Style restaurant in their downtown called Panini's. (I went there. They messed up the coleslaw.) So are many other cities. You should try it before you knock it.

Steely McBeam
Steely McBeam

At least we don't have dirty stinking Mexicans overrunning our city.

Brian
Brian

White trash Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh, PA has more colleges and Universities per capita than any other city in the United States. I would dare to say that we have more educated people in our city than Phoenix. And our economy is better. At least our city isn't a dump loaded with illegal immigrants and people that can't afford their mortgages. Stop being a bunch of crybabies. I know its hard to accept, but the Cardinals are not that good. Its probably the first and last time you'll ever be to the Superbowl. Get used to it.

katie v
katie v

"Hey, glad they let you off your shift in the coal mine to watch this game! You must have seniority!"

Hey Martin - my Dad IS a coal miner. Do you know how TOUGH that job is? Do you have any appreciation for what coal has done for you? Obviously not. I don't think you have a frakking clue. Get some class, grow a pair, and move on.

V. Simon
V. Simon

Dear "Mr." Cizmar:

Wow, you really need to get a life! Evidently your life in Cleveland (the armpit of the world) finally got to you and you had to find someplace half-way decent to live. We beat the Cardnials... That's a fact, so get over it. It was a great game, and your sarcastic remarks can't change it. You have coaches that came from the Burgh... Fitzgerald himself was a product of the University of Pittsburgh. Making fun of us is making fun of them... Don't you get it? The Steeler faithful come from all walks of life and from all over the world. Such comments about us just make you look so pathetic. I sorta feel sorry for you. No, not really...

And honestly, I cannot believe that the editors of this paper allow you to use the language you used. I only hope it's not in the paper version. If it is, you should all be ashamed! Talk about a lack of class! Boy, you just put your foot in your mouth! Your language in this article shows such a lack of class that it amazes me that you even have a job. But, then again, you are a product of Cleveland.. There is not a Pittsburgh paper published in the paper version or on line that would allow such language to be printed. So tell me, who has class and who doesn't? Am I a prude... no! But there is a time and place for such language and the newspaper where young people can read it is not the place. Boy, I'll bet your family is just so proud of your use of the English language... NOT!

My opinion of this area has just gone to about "0". I hope that you aren't a true representative of the people out there, but if you are ... then you all have my sympathy.

GO STEELERS! And We're Climbing the Stairway to "7"!

Ron Evans
Ron Evans

Mr. Cizmar;

Let me congratulate you on your wonderful use of verbage in your Jan. 28th article regarding Pittsburgh Steeler fans being "white trash". It clearly demonstrates the level of intelligence of the person to whom I am writing. Your crass use of the English language only demonstrates your inability to articulate yourself in an intelligent demeanor.

By the way, I have lived in Pgh. my entire life and i don't say "yinz" and I don't know anyone who has died from black lung. We are the corporate headquarters to many of our country's biggest companies and have some of the finest colleges and fine arts in the world. Your attempted impaling of our fine city only reveals your ignorance and lack of motivation to perform any research regarding your work. But then again what kind of person and paper would publish such boarish venom. A jealous one!

BigBen
BigBen

Is this a real newspaper? Journalism is dead, eh?

Pittgirl
Pittgirl

Um, Martin? We're not a coal-mining town. STEEL mills, hence the Steelers? You didn't pass history did ya? Damn, if you're going to trash talk, at least do it right. Haha!

Jaime Lynne
Jaime Lynne

Oh and Marty? One more thing. It was bad enough that you had to make fun of Myron and all of the work he's done for charity but you have to go on and make fun of those lost due to black lung disease? That's a funny joke to you? And then Ben's mom? She died when he was 8 years old in a car accident and you also find that funny to joke about? That's low man, really, really low.

I'm surprised that you still have a job.

Jaime Lynne
Jaime Lynne

LMAO, I'm sorry, I couldn't get past the first sentence of this article......oh man, thanks. I needed that laugh! So THIS is what happened to the kid that got picked last for kickball huh? Dude, give it up! GO STEELERS!

mike
mike

As Doctors in Pittsburgh...we pay your residents to do our landscaping and work on our cars...

6Xchamps
6Xchamps

There are 2 reasons that I sincerely want to thank city of clevland, the browns organization & their fans.First for making us laugh so hard twice every football season, and second for showing cowher how NOT to coach before coming back to pittsburgh.I was going to let OUR 6 (six) trophies keep me smiling 'til next football season but now I have your "article" to make me laugh out loud too.

mike
mike

Apparently disgruntled Arizona fans aren't up to speed with their own demographics...go cry yourself to sleep you are a sorry individual. We will continue to rub our championships and other accolades in your pathetic faces.

yvonne
yvonne

To the Cleveland Brown Fan! It must really hurt,that your Browns are the worst football team in America,as far as your so called sayings here.Boy are you jealous!! Not one thing you wrote here is true,granted some older folk might not be as hip,as you think Cleveland is!Cleveland is the like being on an acid trip you can't return from. Its really funny you should say anything since most of your population are Steeler fans.Your rivers are filthy,your towns are toyou probably are to for that matter,We must be so bad that we made the most liveable city! where was Cleveland on that list?as far as your teeth line, it sounds more like Cleveland to me. I think Cleveland"BROWNS says it all,Pe! ewe!Oh by the way, No Cardinal fan said anything bad to us,in fact we all had a good time after the game at the sports bars.To bad your state is so poverty stricken you probably couldn't make to Tampa.

Joan Parsons
Joan Parsons

Looks as though this guy goes from one losing city to another. A very JEALOUS Browns fan has now become a very JEALOUS Cards. fan. I guess because the Steelers are so VERY SUCCESSFUL he has to resort to topics other than football. Too bad two of your coaches are Pittsburgh hand-me-downs. Guess WE hired the right guy here in SIX-BURG!

By the way, just what IS a Cleveland Brown? Oh, I know shit is brown so...

Cris
Cris

To the Cardinal Fans:

Congrats on a great season. That was a very entertaining game and one that was a shame that one team had to lose. That said, please do not listen to the jerk who wrote this article. Cleveland Browns fans suffer from a severe case of Lombardi trophy envy that is really unbecoming. Makes them ugly. They start to look like dogs. Which they are. And this guy probably suffers from penis envy as well. Since his is much, much smaller than average. Common among fatsos.

Cindy
Cindy

When it comes to talking "Trash" ask yourself what type of respectable newspaper allows the word FUCKING found in this article to be put into print?

Scott
Scott

That's awesome. Now the Browns are one of the remaining teams in the NFL to never be in the Super Bowl. Let alnoe win one. Maybe next year... Way to jump on the ole' bandwagon there Spanky.

SteelerNationStrong
SteelerNationStrong

I hate to tell you, but meth isn't an issue in Pittsburgh; when I left you could still buy Sudafed over the counter, unlike Phoenix....where you can find tweakers EVERYWHERE! Not being able to sell cold medicine over the counter due to all of the meth heads was a new concept to me. Definitely NOT a Pittsburgh thing, there, Brownies fan. I believe there is way more crime in Cleveland than there is in Pittsburgh......Hmm....Just hating because the Browns are pathetic, once again.

Greg
Greg

To begin and end any argument, just count to 6, can you count that high brownie?

ClevelandStillSucks
ClevelandStillSucks

This article starts out "As a Cleveland Browns fan"? Ha ha ha ha. Is this the Cleveland New Times? Martin Cizmar, like fellow New Times reporter Sarah Fenske, is not a real Cardinals fan. He is just a pathetic bandwagoning Steelers hater. If the Browns were playing the Cardinals where would his allegiances lie? When you have to have a Browns fan as your spokesperson in chief, how lame are you Cardinals fans?

 
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