Lactose Intolerants

Until it saw some stupid cow with her left tit hanging out in the middle of a Target parking lot, The Bird was squawking with glee about the new, just-passed Chandler ordinance allowing mothers to breast-feed in public. This avian thought, “Why shouldn’t moms of every stripe — even ugly,…

Wanted: Armed and Dangerous

A massive stone temple jutting from the crest of an oak-and-juniper knoll pierces the serenity of the broad horizon of the seductively beautiful Texas hill country. The 90-foot-high edifice is topped with a cupola and buttressed by a grand sweeping staircase leading to the main entrance. Circular columns resembling towers…

Blessed Are the Buttmunches

Beavis and Butt-head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume One (Paramount) This three-disc, 40-episode volume chronicling Beavis and Butt-head’s early years will come as a relief to anyone who was stuck in a teenage wasteland when the MTV series first hit the air; turns out, we weren’t just stoned — this…

Street Fighters

Rockstar Games has a winning recipe: Blend a nuanced story with a rich environment, add a dash of sensational marketing, then drench the confection in blood. What else would you expect from the publisher that gave us Grand Theft Auto? Rockstar’s latest release, The Warriors, proves that the bad boys…

Altared

Live in the Southwest long enough, mi’ja, and you would rather eat live fire ants than look at one more gallery full of quaint, decorator-friendly Latino folk art. Ruben Maqueda makes art in this tradition, but mercifully, Maqueda manages to bring some contemporary kick to “Tradiciones de Mi Gente (Traditions…

Hat Trick

For some, the word “fez” might conjure up romantic images of the ancient Moroccan city of Fez with its walled medina and medieval mosques, the setting for Paul Bowles’ brilliant, intricate novel The Spider’s House. Others might picture my hero Sydney Greenstreet as Signor Ferrari, wearing a fez and swatting…

Meth Fatalities

The six members of the Phoenix Police Department’s C-32 homicide squad, plus their sergeant, gather at a midtown diner for their usual early lunch. It’s 11 a.m. on May 6, a mild day for Phoenix when the temperature will only reach 81 degrees. Three of the detectives are on call…

Never Sleep Again Tour

Argue if you will about screamo’s artistic merit — if you were 16, growing up in an environment of Incubus and Limp Bizkit, you’d have a lot of outrage, too. Victory Records has emerged as the SST of this genre, which is to say that the Chicago indie’s got the…

This Week’s Day-by-Day Picks

THU 3There’s no reason the island sounds of reggae and the exotic music of the Middle East can’t get along, especially when beer and beautiful belly dancers are involved. Every week, Sinbad, 5004 South Price Road in Tempe, hosts Hookah Jam Thursdays, a culture dish of hookah smoking, impromptu jams,…

Seven Nights of DJs and Dancing

Thursday 3Acme Roadhouse: College Night with DJ J. Alan (Top 40) Ain’t Nobody’s Bizness: DJ Suzy (hip-hop, dance) Anderson’s Fifth Estate: Area 51 with DJ Jeremy (goth, industrial) AZ 88: DJ P-Body (jazz fusion, funk) e4: “Eve” Ladies’ Night in the Fire Room with DJ Tranzl8r (rock mash-ups) Garcia’s: Latin…

The Vacancies

You don’t exactly picture Joan Jett writing free-verse poetry in black horn-rimmed glasses. So emo-ish album title aside, it’s no surprise that The Vacancies play just the kind of unpretentious rawk you’d expect Jett to champion with her label Blackheart. A Beat Missing or a Silence Added, the Cleveland quartet’s…

Mae

The recent success of Mae is proof positive that nice guys don’t have to finish last. In fact, they can get the girl and manage to open for Weezer. Not bad for a quintet of good ol’ boys from Norfolk, Virginia, who are currently preaching the gospel of spiritual piano…

Bauhaus

The buzz from this year’s Coachella Music and Arts Festival in Southern California was about the second coming — no, wait, make that the third coming — of Bauhaus, which stole much of the spotlight. Bauhaus — Peter Murphy, Daniel Ash, Kevin Haskins, and David J. — was first around…

Neva Dinova

“Welcome back to The Insider, I’m Pat O’Brien! Thanks to The O.C. , indie rock is hotter than ever! And nowhere is it more sizzling than in, get this, Nebraska, where upstart Saddle Creek Records is home to several acts on the verge of stardom. One of them is a…

Critical Fatwa

Some grand faiths have their own Adversaries (like, say, Pharaohs and Pharisees) to scourge the faithful. But for those of us who hold music on high, there is but one many-faced demon — named not Legion, but Record Company. As digital music leads us to the promised land, we must…

How to Be a Drama Critic in Five Easy Steps

1. Start out as an overly solemn and often pretentious child with a more-than-passing interest in Gilbert and Sullivan. Worry your parents with constant criticisms of their clothing, their taste in furnishings, and their favorite television shows. Ask Santa for an IBM Selectric and a velvet-lined cape. Brood. Be sent…

Letters From the Issue of Thursday, November 3, 2005

Alien Nation Compassion for migrants: What I liked about your story “Postcards From the Edge” (Jimmy Magahern, October 20) was that you didn’t demonize U.S. citizens who are opposed to illegal immigration. The article was a thoughtful look at the immigration saga through the eyes of young people right out…

New Times‘ top DVD picks for the week of November 1

American Chopper: Third Season (Columbia/Tristar) Attack Pack (Commando, Predator, and Kiss of the Dragon) (Fox) Bill Maher: I’m Swiss (Image Ent.) The Brady Bunch: Four-Season Pack (Paramount) Dear America: Letters Home From Vietnam (Warner Bros.) Disney Princess: A Christmas of Enchantment (Disney) Duran Duran: Live From London (Universal Music) Fame:…

Heart and Soles

11/4-11/6Savion Glover has the world at his feet, literally. The 32-year-old tap-dance king is like a shoehorn in a shoehorn factory — hard to miss. He’s left his artistic footprints everywhere from Broadway (Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk) to the silver screen (Spike Lee’s Bamboozled) to TV…

See Fido Fetch

SAT 11/5Pound puppies can compete on equal footing with their purebred cousins at the Skyhoundz Hyperflite Canine Disc Championships on Saturday, November 5, at Encanto Park, 15th Avenue and Encanto Boulevard. Though the Phoenix event is a stand-alone meet from which winners don’t advance, “we average around 500 spectators,” says…

Lost in Space

11/3-11/26Maybe NASA and Michael Jackson should fall to their knees and kiss the feet of collaborative artists Nicholas Kahn and Richard Selesnick, whose “Apollo Prophecies Project” has made moonwalking cool again. Kahn/Selesnick’s massive “Project” portrays a fantastical world in which astronauts from 1960s and ’70s space missions are mistaken for…

Booty Mixer

MON 11/7If you value your privacy, don’t drop a love letter anywhere near Davy Rothbart. The founder of FOUND magazine has been scooping up people’s discarded letters, journals and postcards for years and publishing them in the magazine or posting them on his Web site, www.foundmagazine.com. And it’s not just…