Duran Duran

“Durannies” have been waiting 18 years for the original Duran Duran — drummer Roger Taylor, guitarist Andy Taylor, bassist John Taylor, singer Simon LeBon and keyboardist Nick Rhodes — to reunite, tour and record. The recording has taken some time, so they decided to hit the road instead, and generate some cash.

Duran Duran is playing just 17 theater dates, creating a frenzy for tickets equal to that of the “Planet Earth” days. But there were a few catches with purchasing tickets. First, those who wanted to buy tickets during a presale event had to purchase a $35 membership to Duran Duran’s fan club; that was on top of the average ticket price of $75.

Even more absurdly, for $295, purchasers received a ticket to the show within the first five rows and a chance to meet the band. One to two winners are selected at every venue to have their picture taken with the band and a memorabilia item signed. Winners are allowed to bring a friend to the meet-and-greet — but that person also must have purchased the VIP package.

It all comes down to greed. For $295, Duran Duran better play the balcony at my apartment — naked. I feel bad making cracks about Duran Duran, considering I’m an original Duranny. But the defeat comes down to one simple explanation — Duran Duran is still hungry, all right. This time, however, the wolf is made out of $20 bills.