Club Wet

Say “pool party” to any woman and you’ll notice a slight quickening of the pulse as her underarms begin to moisten. Ever since middle school, when pool parties suddenly turned from games of Marco Polo to contests of puberty’s progress, those words enter into a woman’s neurotic mind and get jumbled up and translated as “self-esteem death trap.”

Poor ladies. We think it’s high time that women in the Valley stop listening to their warped self-perceptions and bust out the bikinis for The House Aquatic at Hotel San Carlos, a new weekly poolside shindig featuring spins by Sol Martinez, Senbad, and Rani “g”. If you get there and find that you’re still terrified of the whole thing, do what you couldn’t in middle school: Get good and loaded before you strip down.

Saturdays, 1 p.m., 2008