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By Wynter Holden
I’m trolling local markets sniffing out the weirdest, wackiest foods found on grocery store shelves. For the inaugural Shelf Life, I was imagining some exotic unknown foodstuff, or maybe a soda pop with a name that got butchered in translation. That was, until I saw this at Cost Plus World Market in the Tempe Marketplace.
A chocolate bar just for men; no girls allowed, according to the label. What’s in this stuff? Testosterone? Tobacco? Female pheromones? Will I drop dead if I eat it? Nope. The Yorkie is just a plain milk chocolate bar sold mainly in the UK. According to Nestlé’s Web site, it’s marketed at men because “in today’s society, there aren’t many things that a man can look at and say that’s for him.” Hmm…I can sure think of a few things. Cigars. Viagra. Porn.
I tucked one under my arm (just in case the international chocolate police were standing by), casually walked up to the front and plopped my Yorkie bar on the counter. Damned if I was going to let Nestlé’s marketing department tell me what to eat. The cashier, Jake, a cherub-faced kid ten years my junior, looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “you can’t have this.” He was only joking, of course, but I still wanted to knee him in the balls.
I took my big, chunky Yorkie bar home, devoured its 387 calories and 21 fat grams (ouch!) in one sitting and sprawled on the couch with my hand tucked in my waistband, watching late-night action flicks on Spike. Despite the sexist crap Nestlé is selling, some girls really can play — and eat — with the big boys.
