Knit Picking

Agoraphobes dread going outside. Dentophobics haven’t had a teeth cleaning in years, and sufferers of lachanophobia are deathly afraid of vegetables. As for us, we’re terrified of something so strange that the headshrinkers haven’t yet created a catchy term to describe it: hideous Christmastime sweaters. Crack wise if you must, but if your crazy aunt kept offering up her revolting knit pullovers covered with frolicking elves and reindeer as presents year after year, you’d develop a complex, too, buckaroo. We’ve decided, however, that the best way to overcome this phobia is to confront it head on at the Bad Sweater Christmas Party. Patrons of the West Valley nightspot will be clad in theist kookiest cardigans and ugliest argyles, with a $100 prize being handed out for the “best” (as in worst) yarn monstrosity.

Thu., Dec. 20, 10 p.m., 2007