Audio By Carbonatix
Complaining is an American pastime, especially here in Phoenix.
That said, here are some things we all really need to stop complaining about:
10. Drivers
Will you step up to support New Times this year?
At New Times, we’re small and scrappy — and we make the most of every dollar from our supporters. Right now, we’re $15,500 away from reaching our December 31 goal of $30,000. If you’ve ever learned something new, stayed informed, or felt more connected because of New Times, now’s the time to give back.
Have you ever been to another city? The drivers suck there, too. We’re not special. Though we do have more self-driving crashes.
9. That Everything’s Beige
People hate beige until the neighbor paints her house teal. Suddenly, beige can look very good.
8. Immigrants
Relax. No one’s taking yer jerb. If they are, you probably should have stayed in school past eighth grade.
7. The Sports Teams
They don’t always suck. The Diamondbacks are still one game out of first in the NL West as of this writing, the Cardinals are rebuilding, the Suns have a bright future, and the ‘Yotes – well they didn’t finish dead last in the NHL last season, so there’s that. At least we have the Mercury and Rattlers.
6. It’s Boring
You’re boring.
5. Old People
Guess what. You’re going to be old someday, too. So be nice to the elderly.
4. When It Rains
UGH I CAN’T BELIEVE IT RAINED AGAIN. Stuff it! You should love the freakin’ rain in this desert.
3. Snowbirds
Do you like money? Snowbirds give us theirs. And they leave as soon as the mercury cracks 85.
2. Traffic
Phoenix has better traffic than any other big city in America. Try living in L.A. or Boston, ya nitwit! Here, you can often see mountains while stuck on the highway, or at least funny signs from ADOT.
1. The Heat
OMG DOES IT GET ANY HOTTER?!
IT ALWAYS GETS HOTTER. PLEASE SHUT UP.
BONUS COMPLAINT: “My skin is dry!”
Solution: Buy some lotion.
