Valley Life

Adult Footed Pajamas: When “Being a Kid Again” is Just Creepy

Pajama City, an online pajama store based in Maryland, specializes in one thing: Adult footed pajamas. The store's website says the company actually ships the pajamas daily from its warehouse, which means two things: a) People order adult footed pajamas on a daily basis and b) In the northeastern United...
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Pajama City, an online pajama store based in Maryland, specializes in one thing: Adult footed pajamas. The store’s website says the company actually ships the pajamas daily from its warehouse, which means two things: a) People order adult footed pajamas on a daily basis and b) In the northeastern United States, there is a warehouse full of adult footed pajamas.

Don’t wear that.

Not only is it creepy, footed, and held together with a single zipper up the front, it’s unisex. And let’s just establish that the only things semi-flattering on both sexes are men’s dress shirts, cowboy hats, and American Apparel V-necks (blame it on the target audience’s malnutrition).

If you need more reasons to save yourself $44.95, each pair of pajamas is fitted with a kangaroo pocket (very flattering) and a “drop seat,” aka butt flap, aka easy access when you really shouldn’t be attractive to anyone because you’re wearing a giant, polar-fleeced condom with feet.

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