Red Bull Crap

Scottsdale is ground zero for $30,000 millionaires. Shiny shirts, spray-on man tans, fake Rolexes, and credit-card debt higher than their spiky, gelled hairdos. These late-night leisure zombies have also infected Tempe and Arcadia, and rumor has it that they'll stop at nothing in pursuit of fake boobs, nose jobs, and...
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

Scottsdale is ground zero for $30,000 millionaires. Shiny shirts, spray-on man tans, fake Rolexes, and credit-card debt higher than their spiky, gelled hairdos. These late-night leisure zombies have also infected Tempe and Arcadia, and rumor has it that they’ll stop at nothing in pursuit of fake boobs, nose jobs, and any drink that’s mixed with Red Bull.

After much research, we found a chink in their armor, a type of Kryptonite that will stop these faux-fiends in their Kenneth Cole-shod tracks. Every Thursday night, renegade-country DJ Dana spins for fans of the real deal, not some mandal-wearin’ city slickers, because anti-Nashville classic-country greats are sure to drive away the creatures in droves.


Sat., Aug. 9, 2008

When news happens, Phoenix New Times is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.

We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.

$30,000

GET MORE COVERAGE LIKE THIS

Sign up for the Arts & Culture newsletter to get the latest stories delivered to your inbox

Loading latest posts...