Smucker’s Stars on Ice feat. Sasha Cohen

We never thought we’d recommend anything with the word “Smucker’s” in the title, but while hardcore porn chick Belladonna’s signing we’re-not-exactly-sure-what up at Castle Megastore in north Phoenix on Friday, February 6, skating’s It Girl — the far-sassier, in our book, Sasha Cohen — will be laying down sweet, white lines over in Glendale. Why is Cohen all that? Well, she’s a bantam hellcat on blades, she looks hot in a micro skirt, and unlike, say, Anna Kournikova, she hasn’t cashed in her looks for lucre. Mostly, though, it’s her ingenuous, fresh-scrubbed allure. She’s sexy, for sure, but also sugar-sweet — like cherry jam. Welch’s, of course. We prefer the jelly underdog.
Fri., Feb. 6, 7:30 p.m., 2009