Audio By Carbonatix
Well, mother-stachers, it’s officially Movember. Toss out your razors, trimmers, and any excuse for facial grooming. For the next 30 days, that patchy, scraggly lip fringe is free to grow, catch crumbs, and (in all likelihood) repel ladies.
However, face fuzz isn’t automatically unsexy. So, we figured we’d assist you in this month-long whiskered endeavor. Here are the sexiest mustaches of ever in the universe and their owners — real, imagined, or otherwise. Imitate with caution. You’re welcome.
See also:
– Five Sure Signs the Mustache Trend Needs to Die (Please)
– Seven of Music’s Most Beautiful Mustaches to Inspire Your Mustache Movember Growth
– It’s Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day
Tom Selleck
We all know Tom Selleck is a hottie with a body. But his all-man mustache consistently steals the show, boasting its own Facebook page and inspiring the cinematic theory that its bushy presence automatically improves the quality of a film.
Ron Swanson
Whenever we play Fuck-Marry-Kill with Parks and Recreation characters (it happens more than you’d estimate), Mr. Swanson always is awarded the “F.” Why? One word: Mustache. If you should choose to pursue this brand of facial fur, do check out The Believer‘s recent chat with Nick Offerman, who plays Swanson, in which he discusses ‘stache maintenance.
Snidely Whiplash
Maybe it’s Snidely’s penchant for bondage (dude was really into tying girls to railroad tracks) that makes him so seductive, but the baddie’s mustache comes is a close second.
Prince
Prince could do just about anything and still be sexy. Lucky for us, The Artist has mastered the art of barely-there bristles.
Salvador Dali
So long. So pointy. So good.
Ron Burgundy
Go fuck yourself, San Diego. Ron’s ‘stache is kind of a big deal.
Burt Reynolds
In the Selleck-style family of upper lip décor, Burt Reynolds’ nose bush is almost too masculine to handle. But, good gawd we’ll try.
