Some movies, like wine and cheese, get better with age. With others, well, the taste of vinegar is an acquired one. Here are ten movies from 1975, 1985, 1995 and 2000 that either haven’t aged as well as their creators might have hoped, were always just plain bad, or are problematic for other reasons.
‘American Psycho’ (2000)
In 2000, I probably went to the movies a handful of times. One of those times was to see the film version of a book I had read about 10 years earlier. To be honest, I was extremely skeptical because I thought the book was basically unfilmable. The book was "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis. If you've read it, you understand where I'm going with this.Mary Harron’s film version of Ellis’ paean to debauchery, Wall Street excess and homicidal narcissism is a fucked-up film. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, but every time I watch it (or parts of it), I feel like there's something wrong with me. It’s violent, gory, sexually depraved and conveys an energy that leaves you feeling unsettled and confused. I believe this was purposeful, so kudos to Herron and the film's star, Christian Bale, who perfectly portrayed the book’s protagonist, Patrick Bateman, with incredible detail. There aren't many Hollywood films where there is truly no one to root for, but this is one of them. "American Psycho" is not a bad film, but it certainly is polarizing.
‘The Patriot’ (2000)
Speaking of polarizing, actor/director Mel Gibson went from box office hero to pariah because of drunken rants, homophobic/misogynistic/racist/anti-Semitic comments and political affiliations. In 2000, Gibson starred in "The Patriot"; the film is plenty problematic and, over time, has revealed itself to be really bad as well.While war is always violent, "The Patriot" serves up its action sequences with ferocity. Early in the film, Gibson’s character, Benjamin Martin suffers an understandably soul-crushing and anger-inducing loss, but the act of revenge he facilitates is even more violent than anything that happens in "American Psycho." After that surprising scene, though, the film just sort of disintegrates into one patriotic cliché after another and morphs into a kind of “White-mare on Elm Street,” Revolutionary War style. Acclaimed filmmaker Spike Lee described the film as a “whitewashing” of history over its avoidance of the topic of slavery. He's not wrong. There is something almost '50s-era Disney about how the story unfolds and, at one point, you almost expect cartoon birds to land on Gibson’s shoulders. It’s easily the late Heath Ledger’s worst acting performance, too.
‘Chuck & Buck’ (2000)
"Chuck & Buck" is one of those films that is well crafted, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel like you’re watching some poor sap's life turn to shit right in front of your eyes. Mike White writes about relationships — especially ones that people are less likely to talk openly about — better than anyone working today, so on one hand, it's cool to watch some of his early work. As an actor, though, White does cringeworthy as well as anyone, and the subject matter here is definitely a reason why this film is not well known."Chuck & Buck" is a tough watch. Billed as a dark comedy, I think it's safer to say that it's just dark and mostly fucked up. You feel for the characters, in a way, but both times I've tried to watch this film, I’ve come away feeling like I was watching something that was really none of my business. You want to feel for White’s Buck character, but as the film goes on, you realize that Buck is an asshole.
‘Higher Learning’ (1995)
Let’s move on to 1995, when three bad films tried to pass themselves off as good ones. Michael Rapaport’s character, "Higher Learning," Remy, has gotten more laughable and less tragic over the years. Is he an unfortunate kid whose naivete was exploited by evil skinheads or just a dickhead? We'll never know for sure.This overly dramatic pile of shit was written and directed by the late John Singleton, and I had really enjoyed his first film, "Boyz n The Hood," this one just sucks buttermilk. It had some mild success at the box office, but it's certainly not aged well at all. Rapaport is joined in being a cardboard cutout of a stereotype by an equally bad Kristy Swanson and Omar Epps as the three main characters. If there's any redeeming quality to the film, it's the stellar supporting cast of actors who went on to do much better work, including Regina King, Laurence Fishburne and Jennifer Connelly. With all of the great streaming choices these days, I’d only watch this if I were tied to a chair.
‘Nine Months’ (1995)
I actually liked "Nine Months" when I first saw it, thanks to the work of supporting cast members Tom Arnold and Joan Cusack. But over the years, I've grown to despise it. A huge hit at the time, Hugh Grant stars as Samuel, a reluctant dad-to-be, who goes through an early-onset midlife crisis after his girlfriend, Rebecca (played by a terribly under-utilized Julianne Moore), tells him she's pregnant.I had enjoyed Grant in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and really liked the thoroughly charming "The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain" (also from 1995 and way better), but in retrospect, his performance in "Nine Months" simply sucks. There's also some terrible misogyny spewed by Samuel's best friend, a bohemian doofus/trust fund/artist guy played by Jeff Goldblum.
Overall, "Nine Months" is a truly terrible film hiding in rom-com clothing. Avoid it at all costs unless you're a sucker for brief and mildly funny scenes featuring Robin Williams. You can probably just YouTube those parts.
‘Casino’ (1995)
There's a lot to hate about "Casino." From Sharon Stone and Joe Pesci being two of the most unlikeable characters in any film ever or wanting to just reach through the screen and slap the shit out of Robert DeNiro’s character for the entire movie, "Casino" leaves a bad taste in your mouth from beginning to end. As far as gangster movies go, it’s probably pretty close to the truth how the mob’s involvement in Las Vegas really goes down, but it’s no "Goodfellas." It’s just a movie that makes me want it to be over about five minutes after it starts."Casino" is also almost three hours long. That’s three hours you'll never get back if you watch it. Do yourself a favor and watch any number of Martin Scorsese’s other films; even "New York, New York" is better than "Casino," and that movie had problems, too.
‘The Breakfast Club’ (1985)
The year 1985 brought us a couple of movies that haven’t aged as well as people would hope. Number seven (if you’re counting) on this list is "The Breakfast Club."John Hughes wrote and directed this teen classic in which five high-schoolers bond during a Saturday detention in Suburban Anywhere, USA, in the mid-'80s. It’s not a bad movie, but it hasn’t aged well for a few reasons. I went to see it on one of my first real high school dates and I remember thinking, “What an asshole” when Judd Nelson’s Bender character sneaks a peek under the skirt of Claire, played by Molly Ringwald. By today’s standards, this is more than just a dick move and not something to be accepted and glossed over like it is in the film.
This is just one of the things that we now know are just not acceptable for anyone to say or do. Even though people still do stupid, hurtful things to each other and say homophobic, sexist, ageist, stereotypical things, we don’t need to condone or ignore it in the manner that "The Breakfast Club" does. Hughes wasn’t the most socially aware guy, apparently.
Deeper still, though, "The Breakfast Club" has not aged well for those of us who experienced it firsthand as high school age people ourselves, because we all knew the real-life versions of the characters played by Nelson, Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy and Emilio Estevez. We know how they turned out and, in many cases, it's not a pretty picture. Bender is probably dead or in a dead-end job. Claire got married and divorced and married again to another doctor or lawyer so she can still drive a BMW. Allison works at a nonprofit and has 10 cats. Brian teaches high school science. Andrew sold Claire her car.
‘St. Elmo’s Fire’ (1985)
A shittier version of "The Breakfast Club" was released four months later, but this time it was for recent college graduates and called "St. Elmo’s Fire." While I liked "The Breakfast Club" in 1985, when I saw "St. Elmo’s Fire," I thought it sucked. Outside of Mare Winningham’s Wendy, there isn’t a single likeable character in the movie. They're all awful. This movie made me realize that the Brat Pack, which was prominently featured in the film (Andrew McCarthy, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy and Demi Moore) was much, much less than just a dumb take on the “Rat Pack.”Filmmaker Joel Schumacher made more misses than hits in his career, but at least he went for it on movies like his two Batman films, "8MM," and "Falling Down." I don’t think he knew what to do with this pile of garbage, even though he also wrote it. If you want to watch a movie and wind up wanting to pull a Patrick Bateman on the characters, this is it. Maybe you could create an AI film where the characters in "Casino" and "St. Elmo’s Fire" meet up and kill each other in hilarious ways.
‘Escape to Witch Mountain’ (1975)
As a kid in the 1970s, you had to love the "Witch Mountain" movies. The movies were made by Disney and featured a brother and sister with unique powers. There were two theatrical films in the original series and the first one, "Escape to Witch Mountain," was pretty huge with the kiddos in 1975. Unfortunately, Disney+ made these movies available for streaming, and a certain nostalgia for the '70s led me to revisit the film during the pandemic. Ray Milland, Donald Pleasance and Eddie Albert are all in the movie, along with Kim Richards ("The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills") as one of the young protagonists, Tia, and Ike Eisenmann as Tia’s brother, Tony. None of them are good in these roles through the eyes of an adult. I’m guessing that most kids these days would laugh at the films, as well. The special effects are terrible and it was clear that Disney really phoned these films in to make a quick buck.
