Under the Sun

The Election's Over, But This Trump Fan Is Still a True Believer

DeeDee Easlea made short work of these.
DeeDee Easlea made short work of these. R. Pela

The way DeeDee Easlea sees it, she put up with eight years of Barack Obama. Now it’s her turn to have something of her own.

“I think eight years of President Trump would be just fine,” she said last Tuesday while out for her morning stroll along the canal behind her house near Fifth Avenue and Osborn Road. She stopped to yank a vinyl red, white, and blue Biden-Harris sign from a telephone pole.

“My neighborhood put these up,” she explained. “Me and my husband was asked to take them down on the 23rd.”

But today was only the 10th.

“Yeah, but the election is over,” she pointed out. “And even though Trump won, they’re not gonna let him in. All this recount stuff is a waste of time. Anyhow, I’m going to my sister’s in Lake Havasu tomorrow, so I figured I better take these down now.”

She was leaving because her husband was sick, and in case he had what Easlea called “the COVID,” he didn’t want her to hang around and catch it.

“That’s why it’s just me out here pulling signs,” she said, tossing a handful of thumbtacks into the canal. “I’ll be at my sister’s past Thanksgiving, so I figured I’d better get these down now.”

She was glad not to be home for the holiday. Her daughter had recently stopped speaking to her after Easlea yelled at her son-in-law for saying Obama’s billion-dollar bailout saved the car industry.

“So Thanksgiving was going to be weird,” she said. “Now I don’t have to worry about who’s coming and who ain’t.”

She tucked a growing stack of hand-painted cardboard Trump signs under her arm. “I hate to take these down,” she confided. “But there’s a law that says they got to be gone by a certain day. Anyhoo, maybe while I’m gone, something good will happen.”

She was hopeful President Trump would prevail in reclaiming the election. She figured since the contest was so close, Washington should just let Trump stay. “He’s already in office,” she shrugged. “And he was just getting going on the COVID thing.”

Easlea paused and stared at the ground for a minute. The “COVID thing” was a Democrat conspiracy, she whispered in the direction of her shoes.

“What they did was to get people all afraid of the corona,” she explained. “And after everyone was scared, they said, ‘Don’t go vote at the voting place! Oh, no, it’s all covered in corona! You’ve got to mail your vote in! And then they had us, because they could throw out all the votes they wanted and say the other guy won.”

Easlea didn’t like to say Joe Biden’s name. “And I can’t even pronounce the other one’s name, his female vice president,” she griped. “What kind of a name is that, anyway?”

She worried about terrorists overtaking America, she said as she tugged at another handmade Trump sign.

“Even if they let Trump stay, and they should,” she cautioned, “it’s going to be another 9/11 all over again. You’ll get some crazy guy in some other country who doesn’t like Trump or who doesn’t like the other guy, and they see how we’re fighting over this election, and they’ll bomb us because we’re thinking about something else right now. You watch.”

One of the best things she’d heard about President Trump lately was that he was doing everything he could to get troops back from Afghanistan.

“He really cares about those boys,” she’d decided. “Of course, everyone in Washington is trying to stop him. They’re all like, ‘Just get out and let Biden take over!’”

Easlea pulled at an especially stubborn Trump sign. “But you mark my words,” she said, and held up the sign. “This guy here isn’t going anywhere any time real soon.”
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Robrt L. Pela has been a weekly contributor to Phoenix New Times since 1991, primarily as a cultural critic. His radio essays air on National Public Radio affiliate KJZZ's Morning Edition.
Contact: Robrt L. Pela