Naughty and Nice

You’ve got your partner on all fours, bucking and rearing. The two of you met through an online dating service for equestrians, and you thought she was the one. But now, observing her on the floor, doing a botched-up half-pass and neighing uncertainly, you realize she lacks commitment. You suddenly feel very alone, misunderstood in your sexual deviance.

Never mind her. She’s too straight for you, despite her efforts. What you need is to indulge in some good homegrown smut, to feel comfortable among freaks, and here’s the perfect opportunity: On Saturday, July 26, twenty-some of Phoenix’s own – such as Dolly Diamonds, Lolita Haze, and The High Pimpstress – will be flaunting their libidinous talents at Romantasy Cabaret’s “Opulent Dreams.” The three-act show will provide song, dance, comedy, and magical high jinks with vaudeville, circus, and burlesque.

Sat., July 26, 8 p.m., 2008
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Nina Carapetyan