January 11, 2012 | 1:00pm
Remember when you stopped rehashing TV and comic book storylines with your action figures, and instead re-cast them to play out real-life drama? Like that one time your dad (played by Hordak) got drunk and totaled the minivan (a great stand-in by Ecto-1) then tried to hide it from your mom (the Baroness).
Perhaps that was that just me.
If you're still reeling from the Iowa Caucus and can't make sense out of the current crop of GOP frontrunners and their platforms, a little action figure therapy just might help you sort everything out - and where better to do it than the Arizona Popular Culture Experience
John Edwards (not that one) is the proprietor of the geek haven at Desert Ridge - and with 10,000 different vinyl and plastic totems of your youth - has the perfect stage to re-enact this year's biggest battle.
Edwards (an avowed Republican) casts five collectibles as his vision of the GOP candidates after the jump ...
5. Ron Paul as Green Arrow
To me, Ron Paul has a bit of the Crypt Keeper vibe.Not the one popularized by HBO mind you, but the old EC Comics version (although if you close your eyes and listen he does sound a little bit like John Kassir). Edwards has a different opinion.
To him, Congressman Paul is best represented by Green Arrow. Like Oliver Queen's alter ego, Dr. Paul is (according to John) a liberalist crusader with " strong ideas" who's all about the little guy and keeps his nose out of foreign conflicts
4. Rick Santorum as Aquaman
Oh Rick. God talks to him and drives his decisions. Kind of like the son of Neptune himself, Aquaman. Edwards believes that just like the Atlantean diving champion, Senator Santorum is similarly misunderstood. "No one knows where he is. Is he joking or should he be taken seriously?"
Green Lantern and Lex Luther
3. Rick Perry as Green Lantern
Say what you will about the Texas Governor's stance on, oh I don't know....EVERYTHING, but you have to admit he's got swagger. John admits that Perry is cool, cocky and full of himself like Hal Jordan's Green Lantern. Plus, like the monthly comic book series about intergalactic cops, Perry's not for everyone, but has "a loyal cult following."
2. Newt Gingrich as Lex Luther
It's hard to not see Newt Gingrich as Chancellor Palpatine, but Edwards sees the former Speaker of the House as another fictional megalomaniac, Lex Luthor. Like Superman's arch enemy -Gingrich is supremely adaptable, although one isn't sure if he's good, evil or just self serving.
1. Mitt Romney as Bruce Wayne/The Dark Knight
Romney's been called a Ken doll before - I'd probably get all moon eyed too if I were in a room with him - but John sees the former Governor as both sides of the Bruce Wayne/Dark Knight dichotomy. To John, Mitt Romney is "quiet and reserved, while surrounded in mystery. No one knows who he really is."