Top 5 Things to Do This Weekend

This weekend Demetri Martin cracks jokes -- and probably indulges in a little singing-- at The Orpheum, things get weird at the Bizarre Bazaar, and neon is the element of choice at District 8. More? But of course:

Noir Part Deux @ W Scottsdale
Don your darkest, snazziest duds for this noir-themed fashion show. A display of Ferraris will greet guests as they arrive. And clothes from Scottsdale shops Fashion by Robert Black and Vintage by Misty ensure that Noir Part Deux will be a swanky affair. The free event starts at 10 p.m., and the show is at 10:30.

Tour de Light Rail Pub Crawl
Hop on the rail for a Saturday night of barhopping starting at George & Dragon and ending in Tempe at Macayo's. Drink and food deals abound. But there's a catch! Crawlers must sport a Tour de Light Rail tee, available here, to get the hookups.

Talk Like a Pirate Day @ Westgate
Avast! Spend Saturday talking like a swashbucking sea rover. But first, be sure to brush up on marauder lingo. We recommend dusting of ye olde Pirate Glossary. Swordfighting, mermaids, and plenty of rum await.

Hello There! House Meet 'n' Greet @ Joe's Farm Grill
Get a preview of what's in store at Hello There! House, the upcoming DIY home and garden conference. Starting at 9 a.m., crafting teachers will be on hand to chat about classes that'll be offered at HT!H. Attendees can get hands-on with a take-home wood staining project.

"Big Bugs" @ Desert Botanical Garden
Remember that movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"? "Big Bugs" feels just like that, except without Rick Moranis (sorry). David Rogers' exhibition brings 11 oversize insect sculptures, some of which measure 25 feet in length, to DBG. Take a walk through the garden on Sunday and admire the arthropods.

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Becky Bartkowski is an award-winning journalist and the arts and music editor at New Times, where she writes about art, fashion, and pop culture.
Contact: Becky Bartkowski