When I was 12, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway totally screwed me over. After visiting the famed Brickyard and eagerly paying 10 bucks to take “a lap around the track,” I was placed in a golf cart that putted around the asphalt at a not-entirely-death-defying 9 mph. This was not the…

Best Sleeper Hit: WordJong (Nintendo DS) — It may not sell like Mario, but this mishmash of Scrabble and mah-jongg hooks you like handheld crack. Already a word-of-mouth hit, despite being released only this month, WordJong is perfect for quiet afternoons, loud commutes, or romantic walks on the beach. Best…

Nothing says “holiday spirit” quite like stabbing a terrorist or hammering a goombah, as the hottest games this season invite us to do. But no matter how cutting-edge the stars of 2007 may be, they are also unmistakably familiar. This week, we stack the holiday hits of today against the…

At a Guitar Hero tournament a few months back, one kid complained to me that Expert Mode is “too easy.” Then he demonstrated the game’s secret Hyper Speed mode. My pupils nearly ruptured at the sight of him as he navigated the light-speed stream of colored notes; it looked like…

There’s no surer sign that a franchise is in trouble than when it blasts into outer space. So you were right to be nervous when Nintendo announced its plans to follow up the subpar game Super Mario Sunshine with something called Super Mario Galaxy, which promised to launch the mustached…

Show of hands: Has anyone not heard of Guitar Hero at this point? You sir, in the back row clutching the Ratt cassette — you’re the only one? All right, pal, here’s your recap: Guitar Hero is the most popular music-based game ever made. It comes with a plastic guitar…

Love him or despise him, head Jackass Johnny Knoxville has made millions from getting kicked in the yambag. Had YouTube arrived before Jackass, Knoxville, Steve-O, and the show’s other gutterpunk masochists might still be slinging French fries, getting burnt by hot grease in a strictly non-recreational way. But with a…

Billiards is one of the few sports that’s as taxing on a computer screen as it is in real life. It’s played in pubs, after all, and its legendary star was named “Fats.” Unfortunately, most virtual billiard games are behind the 8-ball in terms of quality, with poor physics and…

In space, no one can hear you scream, Jumpin’ Jesus, this is one of the greatest games ever! But that doesn’t mean you won’t try during Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Hard-core gamers know Metroid’s star, bounty-hunter babe Samus Aran, has been kicking ass since 1986 — back when Lara Croft…

Funny how gaming’s most epic genre — the role-playing game — often feels the most limited in scope. After all, how many times can we traverse a medieval land, defeat the orcs, rescue the girl, save the world, and level up along the way? Never enough times would be the…

The first worthwhile online-compatible game for the Wii has finally arrived. And in at least one way, Mario Strikers Charged is just like real soccer: Sometimes it scores, and sometimes it’s just a kick in the balls. The sequel to Super Mario Strikers, Mario Strikers Charged continues the Nintendo tradition…

Stupid video-game logic, rule no. 154: When thousands of fugly, bloodthirsty aliens take over a spaceship, it’s best to send in a lone woman with a flamethrower. That’s the entire plot of Alien Syndrome, a pseudo sequel to Sega’s 1987 “run ‘n’ gun” arcade game of the same name. And…

Examining the roots of Transformers: The Game is deep stuff: It’s a video game based on a movie based on a cartoon based on a toy. But unlike most laughably forced movie tie-in games (Da Vinci Code for the PS2, anyone?), there’s good sense in creating one devoted to giant…

One of the best new video games on the market requires you to take math tests. During summer break, no less. But before you cue up “Night on Bald Mountain” and run like hell, you really should play Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree. Any “party title” that can hold a…

Everyone’s got a different sense of what makes a killer party. For kids, maybe it’s whacking a piñata and overdosing on cake. For adults, it could be sticking a beer bong down your gullet and declaring yourself Mayor of Schlitz City. But since 1999, the Mario Party series has served…

Dating games have come a long way since the days when Chuck Woolery invited mullet-sporting contestants to bump uglies on Love Connection. In Japan, the “dating simulator” video game craze has raged stronger than a schoolboy’s hormones since the early ’90s. But here in America — where our gaming interests…

If you’re looking for a laugh, find a kid raised on Grand Theft Auto and introduce him to Pac-Man. As he stares at you blankly, explain the addictive joy of eating dots and the simplistic genius of the neon-blue maze. When he sneers, “That’s it? It’s the same level over…

After starring in 20 years’ worth of video games, the Super Mario Brothers have been spread mighty thin. The mustachioed heroes’ latest outing, however, takes this concept to a literal extreme. Paradoxically, Super Paper Mario is like every Mario game you’ve ever played — and like nothing you’ve seen before…

We’ve all seen Super Mario eat copious amounts of mushrooms, but have you ever considered the care that goes into preparing such delicacies? In Cooking Mama: Cook Off for the Wii, Wolfgang Puck wanna-bes are thrust into the kitchen — alongside “Mama,” the game’s titular chef — where they’ll chop,…

A video game about birds flying biplanes makes as much sense as a game about fish captaining submarines, but there are far bigger gripes to be found in Wing Island for the Wii. “In a world ruled by birds,” explains the manual’s grim version of the future, Sparrow Wing Jr…

There’s one similarity between Ghost Rider and most videogame movie tie-ins: Get too close to either, and your ass will probably get burnt. Though it stars goofy Nic Cage and Sam Elliott sound-alikes, Ghost Rider claims only to be an offshoot of this year’s soul-sucking blockbuster — not a direct…

Unlike its Wii Sports predecessor, only two players can play Wii Play at a time — barely living up to the definition of “We.” And playing Wii Play alone is a hollow feeling. Strangely, Wii Play acts as a “Wiimote 101” tutorial instead of an inspired game collection. The emphasis…