If Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio hosted a fundraiser for everyone who doesn’t like him, doesn’t respect him, doesn’t think he’s “playing with a full deck,” and compares him to Mayberry’s bumbling lawman Barney Fife, he’d have no time for things like inmate coloring contests, or Elvis-themed panty parties at…
If you think you recognize the face pictured above, call police — a guy who looks a lot like the above illustration apparently tried to abduct a 13-year-old girl in Chandler yesterday.According to the Chandler Police Department, the 13-year-old girl was nearly abducted by an unknown suspect in her neighborhood…
Adrenaline can make a person do lots of things; finish a marathon, lift heavy items, etc. Or, in the case of Roger Nelson, adrenaline can make a person crash his car into a mall, run inside to rob some shoes, and then pull a semi-automatic handgun on a police officer.That’s…
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, by his own assessment, is a pretty tech-savvy guy.How could a guy who boasts about not knowing how to use a computer be such a technological whiz? Well, you see, Arpaio says he’s “high-tech” because he was the first person who concocted the brilliant plan…
The Arizona Diamondbacks got their bats moving last night during the team’s 9-4 win over the Colorado Rockies at Chase Field last night.The D-Backs had 14 hits last night, including a center-field jack from right-fielder Justin Upton that may not have landed yet.But Upton’s homer was just the icing on…
Following yesterday’s election, it appears the keys to Phoenix City Hall will soon belong to either Greg Stanton or Wes Gullett (insert South Park “turd sandwich” “giant douche” reference here).Unofficial results show that Stanton scooped up about 38 percent of the vote, while Gullett came away with about 21 percent.To…
Two alleged creeps in jail on murder charges will be the latest to get a taste of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s “loaf,” which tends to be the breaks when you attempt to assault detention officers at one of the sheriff’s jails.According to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, the two…
What do you get when you combine 42-year-old Adeena Oswald, booze, a broomstick, and her autistic 12-year-old son? Another tragic case of child abuse for Child Protective Services to (attempt) to deal with.Oswald has a bit of a drinking problem. In fact, her 10-year-old daughter says it’s not uncommon for…
Jessica Callaway, 21, was caught on video Friday telling her 10-month-old baby to “shut the fuck up before I kick you in the mouth” as the infant was laying on the floor of her Gilbert home. Then she hit the baby in the face several times, apparently to get the…
If $45 for sex with a Texas hooker seems like a deal that’s too good to be true, that’s because it probably is — she could turn out to be a cop. Just ask Phoenix police officer Sheldon Czegledi, who got popped in El Paso last week for trying to…
Child-raping cult leader Warren Jeffs remains in critical but stable condition at a Texas hospital after starving himself in prison, where he’s currently serving a life sentence for sexually assaulting two underage followers of his breakaway sect of the Mormon Church. He’s still expected to make a full recovery, Texas…
Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle FormerRepublican, you are the proud winner of this week’s New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo. We picked the five…
Governor Jan Brewer is currently considering moving the primary date in Arizona from February 28, to January 31, to give the state what the Associated Press describes as a “louder voice nationally.”Arizona’s “voice” in the national discussion lately has earned the state the nickname of “the meth-lab of democracy.” Another…
You may have gotten your hopes up this afternoon when ABC News’ rumor department ran with the story that convicted pervert Warren Jeffs is in a coma and not expected to survive after apparently starving himself in a Texas prison.We hate to disappoint anyone who wishes nothing but the worst…
The Tempe man who left his 11-month-old baby in a running bathtub while he and his baby-mama took a nap earlier this month was in a Maricopa County Superior Court this morning where he pleaded not guilty to one count of child abuse.The baby’s mother, who is also charged with…
Imprisoned pedophile Warren Jeffs must be pretty hungry — he apparently hasn’t eaten anything since he was sentenced to life in prison nearly three weeks ago, which has led to him getting rushed to a hospital in critical condition.Jeffs, the former leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of…
Aside from calling a Hispanic guy a “nigga” at a performance in Phoenix last week, comedian Katt Williams also invited him to “go the fuck back” to Mexico.If it was a joke, it sucked.Williams, of Money Mike (um) fame, then led the crowd in a Rosanne Barr-esque rendition of the…
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was in Kendall County, Illinois over the weekend and — as expected — got to talkin’ about the pink undies he provides to inmates in his jails.Arpaio told a crowd of GOP supporters that the inmates hate the pink skivvies, but he’s “sure in San…
Last week, in honor of Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne’s move to essentially overthrow the Voting Rights Act of 1965, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Horne at last year’s GOP election-night party for this week’s New Times’ You…
The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office’s Human Smuggling Unit nabbed seven illegal immigrants during a traffic stop last night — which is precisely six more immigrants than were arrested during Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s latest illegal immigrant roundup.That’s right, during Wednesday’s highly publicized immigrant roundup at a hotel in downtown Phoenix, Arpaio’s…
Two of the three people fatally shot in front of a Phoenix apartment complex yesterday morning have been identified. The people who shot them, however, remain on the loose.The Phoenix Police Department has identified two of the victims as 26-year-old Nathaniel Holmes, and 35-year-old Carmela Jackson. The third victim hasn’t…
Most people wouldn’t see the fact that their mere presence in a state with nearly 13 million people inspires folks to give up their Saturday to head to a park to basically tell them “hey…I can’t stand you” as a good thing.Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio isn’t most people.Protesters are…
