Five Phoenix police officers and one city of Phoenix employee who refused to turn over their DNA to detectives investigating the mysterious shooting death of Phoenix Sergeant Sean Drenth were ordered last week by a judge to give up their DNA — much to their dismay.The Phoenix Police Department collected…
Congratulations to the New Times reader who goes by the handle Eleanor, you are the proud winner of this week’s New Times You Write the Caption contest. On Friday, we asked readers to provide what they think would be an appropriate caption for the above photo. We picked the five…
So it’s a “dry heat,” right?That’s easy to say when it’s not expected to be 115 degrees outside, which it is today, and would be a record for August 23, in Phoenix, Arizona.It’s gonna be so miserable in the Valley today that the National Weather Service has issued an excessive…
The National Weather Service has issued an excessive heat warning for Maricopa County, advising residents that the temperature for much of the week will be in excess of 110 degrees — which completely f***ing sucks.The mercury hit 113 degrees today — which is pretty hot for this time of year…
Elyzabeth Leitner, 20, is apparently “too fat” to work at a Tempe strip club. The drunk hooligans floating down the Salt River Saturday afternoon apparently are slightly less discriminatory.Leitner was arrested Saturday after cops watched her flash her ta-tas to several people, including three men who gave her party beads…
A Gilbert dog lover plans to chain herself to a tree on Saturday — and she’s doing so to raise money to buy air conditioned dog houses for hot pooches at the Friends for Life Animal Rescue Shelter.Yes, they really make air-conditioned dog houses.Erica Wellman, the shelter’s manager, tells New…
Scottsdale Lieutenant Mike Stauffer — who is hoping to unseat Joe Arpaio as the Republican nominee for Maricopa County sheriff — last week participated in New Times’ inaugural online Town Hall Meeting, during which he answered every single question posed by readers in the comment section of the post.Arpaio was…
There were two murder/suicides in the city of Phoenix last night, which is way too many murder/suicides for one night.According to the Phoenix Police Department, one of the shootings occurred in the 3100 block of West Maldonado Road about 8:30 p.m.The victim, a 29-year-old Hispanic woman, arrived at her home…
Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for a caption for the above photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio eating a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell for this week’s New Times’ You Write the Caption contest.Once again, you didn’t disappoint.We had nearly 50 responses in…
Today is Friday — a day that ends with the word “day,” which, sadly, seems to mean one thing here in the Valley: someone was arrested for beating up a kid.The latest contestants for Parents of the Year are 22-year-old Melissa Chambers and her 26-year-old boyfriend, Travis Darrah.Chandler Detective Seth…
“Birthers,” for some reason (probably because they know the “birther” movement is little more than a baseless conspiracy theory) will never admit to being “birthers.”Take local Tea Party coordinator Jim Wise, for example, whom we caught up with following our post this morning. We asked this guy four times whether…
Of all the things you don’t want to crash your car into while cruising around shitfaced, a cop car is pretty high on the list.This morning, Dylan Fann, 29, of San Tan, did exactly that.According to the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office, about 1:30 a.m., a PCSO deputy was stopped in…
Remember when President Barack Obama released his birth certificate to get Donald Trump, Tea Party “patriots,” and conspiracy theorists to cool it with the claims that he’s not an American citizen?Well, that apparently didn’t satisfy some of the kookier far-right-wingers, who still seem to think that Obama is the real…
Above, you can see the photo we snapped of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio struggling to eat a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell during a ceremony honoring the winner of the sheriff’s Inmate Coloring Contest.You Write the Caption’s pretty self-explanatory. Here’s how you play: we show you a picture, like…
Something about Tempe Mayor Hugh Hallman’s son’s story about getting assaulted while on “A” Mountain Wednesday night doesn’t add up.We’re not necessarily saying he wasn’t assaulted, but the story doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.According to the Tempe Police Department, Eli Hallman, 18, was on “A” Mountain about 2…
As you may have heard, Tempe Mayor Hugh Hallman’s son was injured on “A” Mountain last night — and that’s about all anyone knows for sure.Eli Hallman, 18, suffered head injuries and a broken jaw. He claims he was assaulted by three men, but now says he does not desire…
Thanks to “dangerous” new laws passed by the Arizona Legislature this year — and a recent court decision that overturned an injunction on laws passed in 2009 — Planned Parenthood announced today that it will discontinue abortion services in six Arizona cities.”Under the guise of making laws that make women…
A woman in Casa Grande has a goal: she wants to be the fattest woman in the world.That stunner to the right is Susanne Eman, and according her website — which you can check out here — she is trying to reach her goal weight of 1,600-plus pounds.”I’m your average…
If the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office ever offers you a “meal of [your] choice,” what it really means is a meal you can get at a drive-thru…
Scottsdale Lieutenant Mike Stauffer hopes to unseat Joe Arpaio, 79, as the Republican nominee for Maricopa County Sheriff — and he wants to let you know where he stands on the issues.So Stauffer’s agreed to answer any question you have in New Times’ inaugural online town hall meeting.Arpaio was extended…
Someone’s apparently taken a page out of Karl Rove’s book and is spreading a rumor that Phoenix mayoral candidate Wes Gullett has an illegitimate child.Gullett’s former boss, Senator John McCain, ran into similar rumors when he ran against former President George W. Bush in the 2000 GOP presidential primary.McCain’s “illegitimate…
By this time tomorrow, county jail inmate Michael Wunsch won’t just be sitting in Joe Arpaio’s Fourth Avenue Jail — chances are he’ll be shitting his brains out, too.You see, Wunsch is the winner of the first ever Joe Arpaio Inmate Coloring Contest. The grand prize for such a prestigious…
