If you need a good excuse to salivate over estrogen-rich cheerleaders and huge inflatable dolls, tell your wife that you’ll be attending the Fort McDowell Fiesta Bowl Parade. She’ll likely want to come along, if only to see a bunch of supercool floats and spruced-up marching bands beating their drums…

We all love underdogs. Overlooked and underestimated, they rise to the occasion and put the critics in their place, like that spindly kid in fifth grade who kicked Sister Philomena right in the box. Fuck, yes. Kicked her right in the box and then set fire to the school chapel…

Good old Michel Foucault would likely regard Jessica Calderwood’s enamel art as mere fodder for the repressive hypothesis, which attempts to give revolutionary importance to discourse on sexuality. Before we whip out footnotes and alphabetized bibliographies, we’re just going to point out, with sensitivity, that Foucault is, in fact, a…

Andy Warhol in drag. Macro shots of swelling veins and taut musculature. Photographer Christopher Makos certainly knows how to tune our nipples. After all, Makos is the man Warhol described as “the most modern photographer in America.” Not only did he mingle with the legendary Drella, he also apprenticed under…

Ah, Christmas time. The whole family gets together, gathers around the fireplace, and sings carols while decorating the Christmas tree. What? You don’t have a fireplace? Your family consists entirely of parents who preach the Apocalypse and three neurotic aunts who gnaw on their fingernails until blood colors their teeth?…

No one wants a mediocre death. Choking on Granny’s homemade cookies or expiring of heart failure while effing the local manatee exemplifies such a pitiable ending. We want deaths that merit orchestral soundtracks, all brass and drums. Emperor Skekso’s demise in Jim Henson’s 1982 cult film The Dark Crystal lives…

Have you ever found yourself conspicuously avoiding cracks in the pavement or neurotically measuring the distance between the eyes of every person you meet to gauge their inherent lunacy? You may, then, have a sick proclivity for order and abide by a system that only you can truly comprehend. It…