Naturopathic Doctor Offers 10 Percent Discount for Swine Flu Patients

A local naturopathic doctor, taking advice from Rahm “Never Let a Serious Crisis Go to Waste” Emanuel, announced today she’ll give swine flu patients a 10 percent discount.In an e-mail to news media around the Valley, including New Times, Heather Wdowin of Ambrosia Medical in Scottsdale writes that she’s “offering…

“Back in Black:” State No Longer Borrowing to Pay Daily Expenses

Like a king-sized overdraft protection program, Treasury Warrant Notes helped cover Arizona’s daily living expenses for 12 days starting April 15. But now the state is “back in black,” reports state treasurer Dean Martin.Martin announced today that the state had spent about $38,000 in interest for the notes, used to…

Swine Flu Arizona: Phoenix School Closes; State Not “Overly Worried”

Health officials closed a Phoenix elementary school today following a confirmed case of swine flu, but experts say they’re not “overly worried” because United States illnesses have been mild.A child from Moon Mountain Elementary School in Northwest Phoenix showed flu symptoms before news of the virus broke, and tests later…

Handgun Nets Illegal Immigrant Nearly Five Years in Prison

“Alien in possession of a firearm” sounds a tad like science-fiction poetry, but it’s also the title of a federal statute – and one that’s putting a Mexican national behind bars for about five years. While gun ownership is an Arizonan’s birthright, (the state constitution goes well beyond the Second…

Maricopa County Supervisor Again Invites County Attorney to Call Him

Another day, another diss. The Maricopa County Board of Supervisors can’t seem to communicate with the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office. In a letter to County Attorney Andrew Thomas (see below), Max Wilson, the chairman of the board, repeats his earlier offer to have Thomas call him to discuss mediation of…

Swine Flu Arizona — Nothing Yet Reported in State or Sonora, Mexico

The swine flu situation in Arizona hasn’t changed much since yesterday’s post, except for a stockpiling of antiviral medications.Officials are telling Tucson media that Arizona still hasn’t reported any cases, and neither has the Mexican state that borders us, Sonora. Nobody’s been detained at the international border. Governor Jan Brewer…

“Wolverine” Bootlegging Nets Charges by Maricopa County Attorney

Stating cheesily that, “Wolverine wouldn’t stand for bootlegged copies of his new movie and neither do we,” Maricopa County Andrew Thomas announced several recent digital piracy prosecutions involving the upcoming movie. That’s actually the funniest damned thing we’ve ever read from Thomas, who’s usually all prim and proper. He must…

Arizona Place Names Subject of Downtown Phoenix Talk by Writer

  Pumpkinville was a small town in the desert, misnamed for local buffalo gourds that grew in the area. Then a local Englishman, drunk on “red-eye whiskey,” invented a new name that better described the community being built on top of long-abandoned Indian dwellings: Phoenix. The tale of P-town’s christening’s just one…

White Supremacist Suspected of Stabbing Black Man Denies Accusation

Channel 10 news (KSAZ-TV) aired a jailhouse interview last week with Chad Kerns, the tattooed white supremacist accused of stabbing a black man at a Walgreen’s store. Without ever getting too specific, Kerns says he was at the scene of the crime with other suspects but didn’t assault anyone. Kerns,…

“Dangerous Felon” Caught by DPS Without Much Trouble

  State troopers last week caught up to a local ex-con wanted for alleged weapons violations who had eluded capture on April 13. Angel Valenzuela had vowed to shoot at anyone trying to take him back to prison, but it didn’t turn out that way. Detectives with the Arizona Department of Public Safety figured out…