Lee Hazlewood

How can you dislike a guy whose past albums have self-deprecating titles like Poet, Fool or Bum and Lee Hazlewoodism: The Cause and Its Cure? And how can you pass up an album dedicated to “pimps, whores, pushers, dopers, gangsters and the bottom of the human chain shit-heels”? You can’t,…

Rock ‘n’ Goal Music

Anyone rooting for the underdog on October 27, 1999, was treated to a particularly wretched lesson in public humiliation. The last game of the World Series found the New York Yankees once again making pennant purée out of the Atlanta Braves. The game itself wasn’t any more ignoble than the…

Tombstone Blues

Even if someone had collected all the necessary statistical data to compile An Encyclopedia of Athlete Spousal Abuse Cases, it would hardly seem fair to confine these violations to one vocation. By the same token, is it fair to “Death” that it be restricted to such a trivial profession as…

Adopt a Record Today!

Don’t know how Y2K is panning out for you so far, but I suspect there are plenty of people already trying to separate themselves from everything pre-millennium. Who could blame them for furiously pursuing new things? After reading all those “best of the century” lists, perhaps even you might consider…

A Glitch in Time Saves None

“Fear is your greatest salesman” was once the rallying cry of insurance vendors the world over. But in the case of this anti-cataclysmic New Year’s, fear seemed more like a broken promise. Fear wasn’t the reason ticket sales for everything from Phoenix Celebration 2000 to the Judds reunion concert to…

Secrete Santas

December 24th — The Cole Residence: It was a storybook Christmas Eve. Natalie, shimmering in snow white chiffon, was busily piling up presents under the garland-festooned tree. Jack Frost was looking for a new nose to nip at while chestnuts were indeed roasting on the open fire — just below…

Along Comes Gary?

Unless you’re a diehard fan, working with a former rock star isn’t all that memorable an experience. Most likely your co-worker resembles one of the great unwashed instead of a big-time idol. And depending on the hourly wage he’s pulling down, our rocker’s probably a bitter and sullen old fellow…

Replica for a Heavyweight

In case you dispute that the “classic rock” demographic cared way more about the music of their youth than any generation before or since, consider this: No one ever replicated 78s. C’mon, if you dug Bing Crosby that much, wouldn’t you demand reissues of those clunky albums with the lousy…

Instrumental Asylum

Music is supposed to be the universal language, but a swish pan across your CD collection and mine will only illustrate how much music keeps us apart. There’s only a fraction of stuff we can both listen to without forcing infomercial smiles. Half of my enjoyment of music stems from…

Rock ‘n’ Roll for Dummies

Wanna know how come no one paints his or her favorite band’s name on the back of a denim jacket anymore? It’s not because blue jean jackets are out of style — it’s that rock bands are. No kidding, there ain’t a group out there worth cracking out the acrylics…

Film Faux-Pop Stars

Why wait to see Chris Gaines on the silver screen? There are already countless unconvincing rock wanna-bes with a feature film in the can. Heartthrobs like Riff Manson, outlaws like John Norman Howard and martyrs like Steven Shorter. Never heard of ’em? Consider yourself formally introduced: 1. Don’t Knock the…

Lamb of Garth, Have Mercy on Us!

This is the type of thing you dream about. A bloated celebrity making a horrible slip like this. This is the type of thing a whole country can mock. I hope Garth (or Chris?) likes shame, because he’s gonna receive a heapin’ helpin’. — a music fan from Detroit, Amazon.com…

Krofft Works

H.R. Pufnstuf You could fetch a pretty penny if you had the seven-inch TV soundtrack album containing songs like “Mechanical Boy” and the Witchiepoo anthem “Oranges Smoranges.” Freddie the Flute’s Herbie Mann impersonations notwithstanding, most of the musical content of Pufnstuf was handled by Jack Wild, who had three singles,…

The Wonderful World of S&M

Following the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy in 1968, children’s watchdog groups sprang up and pointed a collective finger at — what else — cartoon violence! Kiddie animation seemed an unlikely scapegoat. After all, James Earl Ray didn’t drop a 16-ton Acme anvil to kill the…

Sub-mission

The Beatles Yellow Submarine Songtrack (Apple) Most people’s candidate for least fab Beatles album is the original Yellow Submarine soundtrack, and with good reason. No one wanted to shell out full list price for an album padded with an entire side of George Martin instrumentals, two previously released Beatles hits…

Beatles for Cels

Yellow Submarine, the 1968 full-length Beatles animated movie, has been rereleased to much fanfare, but what about The Beatles, the ABC-TV animated cartoon series that aired Saturday mornings from 1965 to 1968? There were 39 half-hour shows in all, each with two episodes and a pre-karaoke sing-along in the middle…

Clark Leaves Her Mark — But Where?

This week Petula Clark takes the Gammage Auditorium stage in the touring version of the Broadway musical Sunset Boulevard, stepping into the mole, I mean the role, of Ms. Norma Desmond. And when she utters those immortal lines “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille,” you can bet her beauty…

Good Boys When They’re Moonlighting

No one ever demands to know how many Rolling Stones were present for a session to qualify it as a Stones recording. As long as Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are present, the litmus test is passed. Yet many of the songs that are considered quintessential Stones tracks are missing…

Spare the Rod, Gimme the Faces

Now I look back, think I’ve known all the time I’ve been fighting myself for so long All the vows we made gone for old rags and lumber Disappeared on a cart down the road “Love Lived Here,” Faces, 1972 Although Ronnie Lane penned those lines, you can’t help but…

Molten Wax

Various artists We Will Follow: A Tribute to U2 (Cleopatra) The Friar’s Club couldn’t have concocted a better roasting for U2 than this tough-love fest. Don Rickles calling Bono a hockey puck somehow doesn’t even come close to demeaning the group’s early catalogue like having The Electric Hellfire Club’s singer…

Stoner Rock Royalty

Was it Magnet, Spin or Pulse! that first coined the insidious term “stoner rock” in an effort to describe a new sound emerging from the desert? The sound that’s at times lethargic yet prone to getting loud and sonorous at the crack of a high hat. Personally, I’m hoping the…

Single Live Gonzo!

First Live Album Created Entirely in the Studio: Johnny Rivers Johnny Rivers at the Whisky A-Go-Go (1964) It doesn’t take a secret agent man to figure out that this and three other “Recorded Live, Very Live” Whisky A-Go-Go albums sound identical to Johnny’s first designated “studio” album, where friends were…