Restaurants: Right Place - Right Time

We’ll gladly pucker up for the pancakes served at Kiss the Cook. We’ll surrender a smooch for the seafood omelet, brimming with bay shrimp, crab and broccoli in a smothering of Cheddar cheese. And we’ll bust a buss for biscuits, homemade, drowning in country gravy and teamed with our choice of bacon, sausage or country ham. We won’t even tell you what we’re willing to do for French toast, swimming in real butter and hot syrup, with free seconds.

Once we’re stuffed, we summon strength for a quick shopping spree through this wood-floored, cottage-decorated eatery, filling our bags with cozy antique knickknacks. Then, it’s home for a nice, long nap.

For breakfast, Kiss the Cook smacks of the best.

We know where to hunt down the most magical midnight snack: at Christopher’s, where from 10 p.m. to midnight Thursday, Friday and Saturday, there’s a sumptuous gourmet spread set out for a mouth-watering $9.95.

We choose cheese: selecting from Taleggio, Reblochon, Fourme d’Ambert, Camembert, Stilton and Tete de Moines. We pick pizzas, chomp on cheeseburger and fries, and crave a croque monsieur (a French ham-and-cheese sandwich grilled on a toasted baguette). But what makes our witching hour so wonderful is “little tastes” — pâté, smoked salmon, tuna tartare, white bean hummus and roasted tomato served on toast. And if we’re lucky, the kitchen lavishes us with “leftovers.” These are Christopher’s specialties that some poor soul was unfortunate enough not to order during regular dinner hours — sole meunière on Thursday, veal cheeks on Friday and rabbit in mustard sauce on Saturday.

Paired with selections from Christopher’s list of 100 wines by the glass, these are snacks with real sustenance and style.

Ah, we miss the days of the dungeons. Time was we could punish an inept private chef by chaining him to the rack, and tossing the leftovers to the crocodiles. Now, our staff is unionized and gets all bent out of shape over a little constructive criticism.

Unless we reserve the ultra-luxe private dining room at the Phoenician resort, in which case we’re treated like the royalty we think we are. Every wish is granted, in regal, tantalizing style. The place looks just like a castle, too, replete with Renaissance-era decor, barrel-vaulted ceilings, brick archways, European antiques and a full wall of wines. It’s the perfect place to host a gala for our favorite 16 other well-to-do pals, all for a mere $2,000 minimum.

The room does double duty as a wine cellar, servicing the Phoenician’s elite restaurants. And this means our custom menu is as good as — no, better than — what our fellow guests are enjoying at Mary Elaine’s. Better because it’s ours, all ours.

Ah, it’s good to be king.

This is a belly-buster, an all-you-can-eat fiesta with five meats (pork, brisket, sausage, chicken and pork spare ribs), served with beans, coleslaw, French fries and garlic bread. At just $14.99, we don’t know how this restaurant makes money. Because, while other places might try to trick us with subpar products, the ‘cue served here is topnotch, slow smoked over hickory for 14 hours, and paired with a killer, tangy-tart sauce. It’s plate after plate of fall-off-the-bone tender meats, until we fall off our chairs, stuffed to a stupor. Oink, oink.

There’s something so purely sensual about the setting at Latilla. Tucked into the Sonoran Desert foothills, the restaurant treats us to a symphony of wood, white adobe and Native American weavings. Giant wood posts stand sentry; the room’s ceiling is crafted from ocotillo branches (latilla, or “little sticks” in Spanish). We nestle in booths in the intimate, staggered seating areas, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes . . . and at the menu.

Love is in the air with appetizers such as the foie gras over creamy polenta with beet slices, fresh berries, and a port reduction. Entrees quicken our heart with delights like seared Chilean sea bass with shrimp pot stickers and crisp chicken in a spicy crayfish broth, and Italian Cowboy veal chop garnished with Sicilian green olives, peppercorns and artichoke hearts.

After dinner, we cuddle on the desert-landscaped patio, spooning in the glow of a fireplace and splashing waterfall. Our whispered sweet nothings are seconded by the faraway howl of a coyote. What’s not to love?

To look at this simple little storefront, you’d never think that its chef-owner, Jeff Flancer, is a graduate of the renowned Culinary Institute of America. All doubts will be put to rest after one bite of any of his creative, full-flavored creations. Just as surprising is the fact that his party platters, which each feed 25, cost an incredibly low $39.99 to $43.75.

That’s only $1.59 to $1.75 per person for such delights as green chile mushroom phyllo pockets, baked pesto Brie en croûte, smoked salmon with artichoke hearts and cream cheese, and cold noodle sesame ginger chicken with oriental vegetables. Healthful platters abound, such as salads — chef, Caesar chicken, albacore tuna, Greek, antipasto or crispy Parmesan chicken. Then there are balsamic portabella mushrooms and sherry-glazed roasted onions with rosemary flatbread, or crispy scallion shrimp won tons with tamari dipping sauce.

Why take a chance on the perfect party? Just order the perfect platter from Flancer’s.

Our time is valuable. We don’t always have the luxury of a relaxed, hourlong lunch. (Okay, actually we do — but our bosses are reading this.) But no way, no how, are we going to waste our greenbacks (or our guts) at most drive-through grease pits. Why would we, when we have Miracle Mile delicatessens, where the time between ordering and eating never surpasses five minutes? You can get to-go service, but sit down. Pick the pastrami. Lean and luscious, it’s partnered with melted Swiss and hot sauerkraut for the Straw sandwich; with red bell pepper and carrot-spiked coleslaw and Thousand Island dressing for the New Yorker; and with Swiss, lettuce and dressing for the triple-decker. These two-fisters come complete with French fries, potato salad, macaroni salad or coleslaw and a hefty pickle spear, all for about six bucks. Daily specials such as meat loaf and chunky mashed potatoes are priced the same and equally delicious. Fast food, this cheap and this wonderful? That’s a miracle.

As Scottsdale has grown up around it, the Pink Pony, owned by the same couple for 50 years, has stayed firmly in its past — from the large, rose-colored ceramic pony behind the bar, to the comforting retro menu that has long charmed spring training baseball camps — the Cubs, the Angels, the A’s, the Mariners and the Giants.

There’s real Arizona history here, with black booths that once seated stars like Billy Martin, Harry Caray, John McNamara and Stan Musial. The jerseys on the walls are from the greatest players, autographed by the best, and hung alongside World Series-issue bats signed by modern-day teams.

There’s also welcome value at lunch and dinner: The Pink Pony Special, a hefty sirloin steak complete with soup or salad, baked or French fried potatoes or rice pilaf, hot biscuits and honey, is just $15. Main courses remind us of Sunday dinner at Grandma’s: golden pan-fried chicken, genuine calf’s liver with bacon and onion, and — for a fancy treat — prime rib or barbecued pork ribs.

When you want to remember old-time Arizona, ride on over to the Pink Pony.

The views from this place are pretty enough to eat. We’re standing on the patio, mesmerized by the panorama of the Valley from 1,800 feet above the desert. When we move inside for dinner, we take the beauty with us, seated next to floor-to-ceiling windows framing a stunning Arizona sunset. After dinner, we collect for drinks on a gorgeous patio, decorated with a fire fountain and scads of flowers, the flames sending shadows dancing across the virgin mountainscape that cradles the resort property.

The menu offers some notable Mediterranean-influenced favorites: jumbo shrimp slicked in a delightfully wicked lemon-habanero glaze, teamed with glazed mushrooms and roasted pancetta sauce; or ravioli stuffed with ample butter-braised lobster and caramelized shallots in a ghostly rich beurre blanc. Fish, too, is fantastic, such as buttery Coast Chilean sea bass sided with cranberry beans, pequillo peppers and a smoked bacon-lobster jus. Still, in this setting, food is almost an afterthought. Surrounded by such natural, pure Arizona beauty, even cardboard would taste good.

What is it with casual Valley restaurants putting us on a patio where we’re face-to-face with the car bumpers that crowd strip malls? Carlsbad Tavern is having none of that. This funky, New Mexican eatery had adapted its building along busy Hayden Road to take advantage of its virtues.

Originally a seafood restaurant, the property wraps around a Disney-style “pier” overlooking an “ocean” that’s more blue-painted concrete moat than splashing shore. Thick, tall stucco walls seclude the patio in a cozy, quiet courtyard decorated with wagon wheels, hanging chiles and a fountain.

It’s a fine, fair-weather spot to kick back and sip on a major margarita and enjoy specialty dishes like Santa Fe duck ravioli (crispy chipotle pasta with smoked duck and Brie cream sauce), carne adovada or a searingly spicy habanero cheeseburger (with a free glass of milk to extinguish the flames). For a comfortable price — about $8 at lunch, $15 at dinner — and a laid-back outdoor experience, park it at Carlsbad Tavern.

We hate going to sports bars where screens are tuned to some obscure sporting event we have no interest in. Or worse, the game is something we care about, but the volume is turned down or the bar chatter is so loud we can’t hear the play-by-play. At Damon’s, you, the sports fan and diner, are in control. A hybrid family restaurant/sports bar, this place offers not only tasty ribs and other fare, but also power. All the dining booths are arranged facing four enormous screens. Audio devices at each table (kind of like drive-in movie speakers) let you tune in to your favorite match-up or background music and a trivia game. And for the littlest control freaks, Wednesdays are Kids’ Nights, featuring cartoons and kiddy trivia on the big screens.

When the sun breaks over the horizon, we’re inclined to groan and stuff another pillow over our head. We know we need to snack on something to regain our strength, but eggs, bacon, home fries and toast will simply send us back to bed. Day breaks more gently at Café Soleil, a tiny, colorful cafe that’s blissfully quiet and stocked with a luxurious selection of homemade goodies, plus a wide assortment of coffees, juice smoothies, creamy chais, espressos, cappuccinos, mochas and iced drinks. The aroma of fresh-baked breads lures us in, where we linger in front of a glass case, admiring beautiful croissants, rolls, pastries, cookies and muffins. There are breakfast bagels, heaped with our choice of lox, tomato, cream cheese, Swiss, American or mozzarella cheeses. On Sundays, we wake up a little later, and select from five special breakfast entrees — omelets and such — that change weekly. At Café Soleil, we don’t mind that the sun shines in.

It’s too difficult to decide what to order from Marquesa’s amazing menu. This Mobil Four-Star restaurant is also one of two AAA Five-Diamond restaurants in Arizona, and serves cuisine from one of Spain’s best-kept secrets: Catalan, blended with Italian and French influences. The feast never ends at this market-style brunch, with highlights like sautéed shrimp with saffron potatoes and truffles cradled in licorice mustard-seed sauce; fire-roasted couscous; paella Valenciana with lobster, chicken, pork, shellfish, chistora and saffron rice cooked in clay casuelas; braised quail; veal empanada; turkey with hazelnut polenta; and duck with cauliflower purée, lentil and sausage. And, of course, caviar. Our single lament? The open-air extravaganza is served only from mid-September through June.

Marquesa is definitely the best of the brunch bunch.

It’s another one of those days. The boss is being completely unreasonable, expecting us at work before noon, when we only get up at 11 a.m. so we won’t be late for our lunch break. So we soothe our ruffled dignity by hiding in the cozy heart-of-downtown darkness that is Monroe’s. Descend weathered wooden stairs to reach the dim, candlelit and red-light-bulbed interior of this live jazz club/cafe. Once we can see, we find dark wood walls with brick, with some Christmas lights twinkling in the black, low-slung ceiling.

This place has excellent bar food, most items priced at less than $6. Onion soup is a smooth starter, the beefy, not-too-sweet broth buried under mounds of soft, hot provolone. A cheese steak is terrific, too, packed with quality, lacy-thin beef and buckets of melted provolone on a soft hoagie roll that’s been grilled to a wonderful crust.

Ah, now that’s what we need to cure those big boss blues.

The new El Portal hasn’t been in business long, but this little house turned eatery has become a fast favorite among the downtown crowd, with some of the best Mexican food anywhere in metro Phoenix. Maricopa County Supervisor Mary Rose Wilcox and her politico husband Earl refurbished the old, long-shuttered facility last year with simple booths and tables, accented with terra cotta tile. Parking is plentiful, but the place does fill up, and beware — it closes at 2 p.m.

An early arrival is well worth it. (The cafe opens at 7:30 a.m., and breakfast, by the way, is served all day.) Service is quick and the menu complete — from complimentary chips and salsa, through à la carte regulars such as tacos, burros and tostadas and combination plates with treats such as beef machaca. Drink refills arrive before you even ask, and if you’re lucky, Mary Rose herself will bring your meal to the table.

Now that’s what we call a good public servant!

Pity the poor dieter who believes that eating well has to taste bad. These pitiful creatures have never embraced the power of fresh ingredients, fats served only in restrained portions, and everything snapped up with exotic spices. At Green Leaf Cafe, healthful dining goes global, influenced by the cuisines of Persia, the Mediterranean, Italy, America and Mexico, even Cajun and the Orient. Vegetables take center stage, partnered with tofu, and accented, if we choose, by modest servings of chicken, turkey, fish and eggs — but never any red meat. Even the simplest vegan plate soars with the magic of fresh herbs and spices — oregano, basil, mint, dill, fennel, cumin, garlic, capers, parsley, ginger, fenugreek, cilantro and more. For a sweet but not sinful finish, we pick pumpkin pie, all natural and vegan, of course. Green Leaf is a healthful new leaf we’re happy to turn over.

Talk about cooking lessons. We’ve always loved Chef Razz Kamnitzer’s creative Mediterranean-inspired dishes. Now, with his newly relocated restaurant, we can sit at the bar directly overlooking the master in action in the tiny, galley-style kitchen. We study Kamnitzer performing his ballet, his neatly tied signature ponytail spinning as he makes it look easy to work on a half-dozen orders at a time. The only problem? Seeing these dishes prepared makes us want to order them all. Duck and vegetable spring rolls, escargots, crespelles, cashew-crusted salmon with hibiscus broth, bouillabaisse — we’ve got a severe case of entree envy.

Why would we let something as superficial as a fork get in the way of genius? Nothing comes between us and the incredible pizzas crafted by chef Halim Nefic. His pies aspire to art, spun in whisper-thin circles, topped with the freshest, most vibrant ingredients, and baked in a wood-burning oven to crisp, perfect contentment.

Dough is made fresh daily and hand-spun. Tomatoes are hand-crushed and blended with special spices, and cheese is mozzarella, also lovingly made by hand. So that’s how we eat these lovelies: by hand. The 12-inch pies are said to feed two, but that’s only if we’re sharing our adored Four Seasons blend: tomato sauce, mozzarella, imported Italian prosciutto, wood-roasted mushrooms, fresh sliced tomato, Parmesan, black olives and artichoke hearts.

Two thumbs up!

As with any business presentation, preparation is key. So study up on Gregory’s menu before bringing that Fortune 500 bigwig client to the restaurant. You’ll want to impress him or her with your world-class knowledge of fine cuisine and wines. And if any Valley restaurant tests your skills, it’s Gregory’s. Starters stun with ethereal combinations like salmon ceviche with white-bean hummus, parsley-scallion oil and salmon roe; and pan-seared Hudson Valley foie gras with sweet-potato tart, strawberry-rhubarb compote and 20-year-old balsamic vinegar. Entrees entice, starring delicacies like lion’s paw scallop in sweet vermouth lobster broth with micro arugula and foie butter; or grilled Wagyu Kobe beef with nori-wrapped wasabi risotto and Kobe beef won ton. Service is impeccable, the setting warm and ultra-luxe. In short, Gregory’s will make you look so special your clients won’t even blink when, over dessert, you tell them you’re doubling your fees.

How cool is it to take a sudden turn, open a door that looks as if it leads to nowhere, and announce to your companion that you’ve arrived at your highly select dining secret?

This private party room is a little hole in the wall. It’s a hidden hole in the wall, in fact, behind a door set invisibly into the paneled wood wall of the tiny bar called Dick’s Hideaway. Making it to Dick’s Hideaway is difficult enough on its own — there’s no sign outside. And there’s not even a doorknob for the private dining area.

But seek and you shall find a completely charming, comfortable room seating up to 25 people around a grand, copper-topped table and at comfy booth tables lining the wine-bottle-lined walls. Dishes are the non-stuffy sort, featuring creative New Mexican fare like chimayo chicken (stuffed with spinach, sun-dried tomato, poblano chile and asiago cheese); pork tenderloin (marinated and pecan-grilled with red and green chile jelly); and even posole (hominy and pork in red chile broth). Prices are down-to-earth, too, with a room minimum of just $500.

The speakeasies of yesteryear had nothing on this place.

In some restaurants, getting an up-close view of the kitchen and the folks who are slaving away over the proverbial hot stove might just spoil your appetite. But at Guedo’s, watching the cooks work adds to the sheer joy of eating their signature tacos. We love waiting in line to order here, because while Spanish music blares from the speakers, these guys sing, dance, laugh and bang their pots around. They belt out romantic ballads at the top of their lungs, hooting and hollering to the salsa songs. ¡Arriba!

It’s easy to miss House of Tricks as you drive by on the two-lane street next to ASU — and that’s part of the reason we love it so. Set, amazingly enough, just steps from a row of Tempe’s rowdiest bars and restaurants, this Victorian-inspired 1920s chateau lolls in quiet splendor behind a thick flush of trees, trellises and a picket fence. Sure, other places tout spectacular desert views, but at night — or when you want to forget you’re in tumbleweed country — this is the place to go to let your cares melt away under the gentle gurgle of a fountain, sheltered by a vine-covered, light-bedecked canopy. Any time of day is right for Tricks’ thrilling American contemporary cuisine. For lunch, try smoked ham and Brie on a pumpernickel bagel or grilled trout with chayote slaw. For dinner, kick up the class, with ahi tuna crusted in lavender and herbs and red curry sauce, or molasses-brushed rack of lamb with lemon rosemary mashed potatoes. Best patio dining? That’s no Trick question.

Divorce? Death in the family? Nothing that a little meat loaf and mashed potatoes can’t fix. Because we turn to comfort food during difficult times, it had better be nice food. No hard edges, nothing challenging, no effort involved. Nonni’s Sunday Chicken, which is always on the menu at Rancho Pinot Grill, is a hearty, soul-satisfying bowl of love. To describe it as wine-braised chicken and vegetables served over crunchy polenta cakes doesn’t capture the most comforting aspect of this dish: its texture. This chicken asks nothing of you — it just helpfully falls off the bone, as though it knows you’ve had a hard day. Or perhaps it senses that you shouldn’t be trusted with a knife.

International House of Pancakes
several Valley locations

Best Downtown Executive Lunch
Durant’s
2611 North Central
602-264-5967

Best Romantic Restaurant
The Melting Pot
8320 North Hayden, Scottsdale
480-607-1799
3626 East Ray, Ahwatukee
480-704-9206

Best Healthful Eating
Pita Jungle
1250 East Apache, Tempe
480-804-0234
1949 West Ray, Chandler
480-855-3232

Best Late-night Meal
Denny’s
several Valley locations

Best Outdoor Patio
Dos Gringos
4209 North Craftsman Court, Scottsdale
480-423-3800

Best Happy Hour
Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar
several Valley locations

Foodies are so easily bored. But they won’t be singing their “been there, done that” song at Medizona, an intriguingly novel restaurant from star chef Lenard Rubin.

Rabbit, fig and pine nut baklava with quail egg and chive sauce? Oh, sure, we had that for lunch. Eggplant tacos with lamb, arugula, Kasseri cheese, cucumber-radish relish and roasted tomato-garlic sauce? Yawn. Yeah, right.

Chances are even the most cultivated culinary diva hasn’t experienced such extraordinary pairings as baby greens with roasted goat cheese, sun-dried pears, almond-honey brittle and balsamic-cactus fruit vinaigrette; or charbroiled beef tenderloin with potato-leek gratin, butternut squash, spinach, smoked bacon and provolone-filled green chile on a pool of sun-dried cherry barbecue sauce.

Medizona can get even the most jaded foodie to eat up and take notice.

Jeez, dating is expensive. Dinner and a movie can run $75 plus. (Think about the cost for two: $15 for tickets, $7.50 for watered-down soft drinks, $8 for sacks of stale popcorn, or $7 for boxes of Goobers, and another $40, easy, for steaks afterward.)

At Farrelli’s, we can scope out a potential paramour and enjoy a fine meal and a movie for only $43 (Here’s the math: tickets, $12; sodas with free refills, $3; juicy Angus cheeseburgers on sourdough rolls with piles of fries, $18; and for dessert, homemade cheesecake, $10). For a first date, there’s no debate: It’s Farrelli’s.

Okay, so we didn’t conduct a personal count, but we’re taking Wright’s word that its wine cellar/private dining room boasts 10,000 bottles. Certainly it looks to be true, with a sea of shimmering bottles just begging to be opened and sampled.

While the wine — and the resort, built in 1929 and inspired by the desert-design concepts of Frank Lloyd Wright — may be old, the cuisine is entirely fresh. Chef Rick Boyer’s contemporary, lavish style tempts with treasures like grilled veal and sweetbreads with pickled cabbage, pan-roasted sea scallops with celery root risotto and Sevruga caviar, and a chef’s five-course tasting menu paired with — what else? — wines.

Now that’s the Wright way to celebrate wines.

Fine dining has landed at the Scottsdale Municipal Airport, thanks to the Valley’s own Channel 3 celebrity Jan D’Atri. This joint’s home-style Italian food is so delicious that you’ll find us there, even if the only baggage we’ve got is our childhood. The location’s a surprise, until you remember that Scottsdale Airport is frequented by folks who don’t want corn dogs, but a maitre d’, votive candles, white tablecloths and niceties such as rack of lamb, shrimp and scallop skewers and filet mignon. There’s great stuff for us working-class folk, too: terrific panini sandwiches, pasta and sausage. We love the fresh-off-the-bird turkey breast sandwich, grilled with provolone, mozzarella, feta, mushrooms and caramelized onion. D’Atri’s pastas fly high, anchored by homemade noodles and stunning sauces. Thanks, D’Atri’s, for a fuel bill that’s a delight to pay.

From the first seductive aroma of smoking meat and simmering sauces, this artery-busting, fat-packing food demands we EAT UP.

Honey Bear’s slogan: “You don’t need no teeth to eat our meat.” That’s true. Tender pieces of pork, beef and poultry fall off the bone before we open our mouths. Sure, we could eat light, maybe subsisting on a piece of chicken and a garden salad. But no, we want to pack it in with a massive combo sandwich (a two-fister marrying our favorite meat choices), moist hot links, and gargantuan slabs of pork ribs.

Sides aren’t low-cal, either, but they’re luscious — tubs of sweet-tinged “cowbro” beans and mayo-bound potato salad. We finish our feast with enormous servings of hot-from-the-oven peach cobbler and sweet potato pie.

Honey, that’s our idea of a healthy diet.

An event just isn’t a success unless the food is fabulous, and Continental Catering is the life of our party. In business since 1966, Continental is our choice for both VIP dinners and family milestone celebrations. For those fancy evenings, go with an elaborate spread of herbed mesquite grilled rack of lamb with smoky tomato jalapeño sauce, tournedos of beef with pâté and Madeira sauce, and hazelnut crusted fillet of Atlantic salmon with red pepper coulis. You can even count on Continental for a mouth-watering picnic. This caterer’s core talents are with Southwestern, classic and regional American menus, but they’ve been known to cut loose with themes like Old New English Christmas fetes or Native American celebrations. If you don’t even feel like cleaning the house, Continental can set you up in unique locations such as the Heard Museum, the Arizona Science Center or even Corona Ranch and Rodeo. Continental, you’re our toast of the town.

Chefs Eddie Matney and Dave Andrea own two important Valley restaurants, but they’ve branched out into convenience food, setting up a casual, quick-dining and take-away concept.

World Noodles serves — what else? — noodles, cooked to order in a wok and heaped in a big bowl for just $3.95 to $6.50 (most are about $5). For this, we get a healthy soba stir fry, tumbled with broccoli, snow peas, carrots and chicken, beef or tofu in teriyaki sauce. We also favor the drunken veggies, thick udon noodles tossed with enoki mushrooms, broccoli, red peppers, corn, green onions and tofu in a sprightly sake and sesame oil sauce. Among the slightly more sinful selections: beef stroganoff with mushrooms, cabernet cream sauce and horseradish sour cream, or good old mac ‘n’ cheese, blended with three cheeses, cream and garlic crouton crumbles. So, for good and quick, use your noodle and stop by.

Folks who’ve never been to Phoenix are convinced that we dine solely on hunks of steak, barbecue beans, baked potatoes and paint-peeling coffee made with eggshells. Leave it to Cowboy Ciao, with its ultra-stylish, spaghetti Western ambiance, to show them creative American cuisine, spiked with influences from Italy, Mexico, and, of course, the Southwest.

The Stetson chopped salad is legendary, and we crave the calamari, tossed with chasoba noodles, sesame vinaigrette, chile oil and daikon radish sprouts. Entrees aren’t for the timid, plated with starch and vegetables, and centered by such delights as espresso charred filet mignon (with pan-grilled vegetables, mashed tortilla potatoes, chipotle hollandaise). We endorse the signature dish, too, a fine fry of cremini, button and oyster mushrooms in ancho cream over double-cooked polenta with grilled portabellini, avocado, tomato and cotija cheese. Pure heaven.

Add a dessert of chocolate lottery torte, or Mexican chocolate pot de crème with chipotle cream, plus an inspired, globally encompassing wine list, and we’re proud to call this new Phoenix chow our own.

Thriving for several decades in a former IHOP A-frame, “The Don,” as regulars affectionately refer to it, can never be accused of lacking atmosphere. Go in — hungry, of course — and munch thin, hot chips and admire the year-round, Mylar Christmas decorations that spin and twinkle lazily in the manufactured breeze. Vintage bullfighter portraits compete with velvet paintings and more contemporary (but equally bizarre) prints, while oldies ooze out of a radio whose dial hasn’t budged in years. Check out your dining companions: lone curmudgeons, young moderns, and big families with the occasional screaming child. Order the heavenly cheese crisp, heaped with guacamole; chat with chipper waitress Tami; and ask for the green ketchup for a real visual treat. More good news: All this atmosphere comes cheap at the only sit-down restaurant where two can enjoy dinner for under $10 — and where it’s always Christmas, to boot.

Kazimierz shows how terrific the upscale sip-and-nibble concept can be, with a fashionably funky interior, eclectic music, creative wines and superb “small plates” of creative, refreshing snacks. After finding the door (it’s hidden in the back, with no sign), snag a cozy, cushy, overstuffed armchair or sofa. Sprawl back amid candles and shrouded lamps, enjoying a magical display of lights behind an elaborate paper-and-gel “stained glass” window along the bar’s northern wall.

The best way to eat here is to share sumptuous appetizers: nutty-toned truffle and duck pâté, salmon tartare, and Egyptian flatbreads (pizzas) with toppings like earthy morels and roasted shallots on Brie with truffle oil; or roast lamb, chèvre, figs and balsamic. The best way to drink here is with one of two dozen themed flight selections, each flight a trio of three-ounce pours of different wines. The best way to be merry here? Hey, if we have to tell you that, you’re in the wrong place.

The idea of morning sure sounds good: happy chirping birds, gentle dew, rose-kissed clouds. But it’s never that way as we stagger all sticky-eyed, wild-haired and crabby-spirited out of bed.

That’s the time to treat ourselves to an indulgent breakfast at Squash Blossom, a gorgeous place overlooking a two-and-a-half-acre water playground. Breakfast is an expensive treat — $10.75 to $14.50 for entrees — but worth every penny. Petite filet mignon is high style, paired with poached eggs, herbed hollandaise sauce, breakfast potatoes and toast, while corned beef hash kicks it up with chile cilantro hollandaise. For a special experience, go for the Arizona toast, a raisin bread sandwich filled with cactus pear marmalade, dipped in egg batter and served with fig compote. Or swoon over the potato pancake trio, each dainty round with a different topping: smoked salmon, diced onion, tomatoes, cream cheese and capers; beluga caviar, cilantro and sour cream; and pan-smoked trout with creamed horseradish. Oh, what a beautiful morning.

We’ve been known to stay out a bit past curfew on weekends, and most places roll up the carpet by 10 or 11 p.m. That’s why we’re so thrilled that LEO takes its “late, early and often” acronym seriously. Until 3 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, get a jump-start on breakfast with a fine steak-and-eggs or three-egg ham-and-cheese omelet, both served with home fries and a bagel. Or plow into a first-rate pancake stack, balanced with two eggs, two bacon strips and a sausage link. If it still feels like nighttime, end your long evening with a sandwich — a full half-pound of primo deli meat (the brisket and the Reuben are both awesome), teamed with steak fries, creamy coleslaw or a potato pancake. Burgers are among the best, including a hefty garlic mushroom model, and even one crafted of salmon. Top it off with a sugar wake-up call — carrot cake, chocolate blackout cake, coconut cream pie, New York cheesecake, apple strudel or cheese blintzes.

The only problem with Coronado Cafe is that it’s so hard to find parking. And, if we show up at high noon, it’s so hard to find a table. We don’t mince words when telling our lunch dates that they’d better be on time — this cafe doesn’t seat partial parties.

Once we’ve settled in, though, utopia usurps in this charming home turned gorgeous garden of full-flavored soups, salads and sandwiches. We can justify a life toiling downtown because it places us close to the Gorgonzola walnut salad, tumbled with sliced apples and red onion; or the roasted turkey sandwich, laden with smoked Gouda, cranberry/serrano chutney, red onion and greens on honey whole wheat bread.

Hey, hey, this is our cafe.

Lon’s is generally known to be a great place for a nice dinner, and it’s often difficult to get a reservation. But it’s easy to get a table at lunch, which is strange, given the fact that the outdoor patio is the loveliest place in the whole Valley to sit outside on a nice day. Visitors will be suitably charmed by the old-Arizona authenticity of the Hermosa Inn and its desert landscaping; there’s an impressive view of Camelback Mountain, and the food is actually quite good (although this place could easily coast on its scenery and lush setting alone). The best bets on the menu — besides the side of sweet potato fries, which you should order regardless of how hungry you think you are — are the salads. These enormous, hearty offerings are definitely not for food-phobic, salad-ordering ladies. Bring your corn-fed Midwestern guests who want to eat well while basking in authentic Sonoran sunshine. You won’t be sorry.

This classy supper club gives us hope that, yes, Phoenix will someday have an honest-to-goodness downtown dining scene. Business associates will be impressed with A League of Our Own’s 1940s-style elegance, featuring Tiffany-look lamps, plush booths and vintage photos of famous women.

They will also be impressed with your taste in cuisine, as you guide them through an ambitious — and highly successful — luncheon menu starring such dishes as confit of artichokes, hoisin duck scaloppine with blackberry and mango wasabi paint, Blue Point oysters with sapphire gin and caviar, and the Jive Turkey, a smoked turkey sandwich on zucchini bread with baby spinach and Turkish fig butter.

In the eyes of our associates, lunch here puts us in, you might say, a league of our own.

Its roots are in Europe, but it has taken firm hold in the Valley. It’s the chef’s table, an exclusive seating directly off the kitchen, with personal attention from the celebrity chef. With six to eight of our closest friends, we’re in for a remarkable seven-course meal, custom-crafted, and with each detail explained by award-winning chef-owner Michael DeMaria — an incredible bargain at $100 a person. Michael’s contemporary American cuisine might include an appetizer of cucumber-wrapped Dungeness crab salad with seared scallop and braised spinach, smoked tomato water and horseradish vinaigrette. Then, arugula salad with Rosti Asian pear, walnut and Maytag blue cheese tart, and lemon-walnut vinaigrette. Next is potato-wrapped sea bass on summer asparagus and roasted shallots with cockle-clam vinaigrette. To clear the palate, an intermezzo of spring sorbet. Our entree this evening is barbecued braised short ribs with sweet corn, baby carrots, onions and fingerling potatoes. Finally, it’s some imported cheese, please, and dessert of tiramisu crème brûlée. On an evening such as this, we’re just so pleased to be us.

This little place in an Ahwatukee strip mall is aptly named. It’s a snob-free zone where everyone feels at home at wine-tasting classes, theme nights and private parties. Best of all, you can stop by anytime, belly up to the bar and sample any of the 40 or so open bottles. Buy some cheese and crackers and hang out for a while. The selection of wines is impressive, but the secret to the place’s huge popularity is the hospitality of owners Kathleen and Tom Fordyce, who will warmly welcome you and maybe even join you for a glass or two.

Here it comes, spiraling toward the Earth, a spinning, hot orb that lands with a thundering thud. We’re not getting out of the way, though, because it’s a pizza, a beautiful feast that’s crashed into our table at Cosmic Pizza. It’s called the Meteor, and it’s out of this world, monstrous with six meats — pepperoni, sausage, sirloin, Canadian bacon, meatballs and chicken — cheese and a zingy red sauce. To carry the weight of the toppings, we get the thick-crust version, hand-tossed, seasoned with garlic salt and baked on a stone slab. Houston, our pizza has landed.