Best Song To Request From A Mariachi That's Not "Guantanamera"

You're feeling no pain from all of the margaritas you just drank. The mariachi is blaring song after song in a language you don't understand. But you enjoy the music and even recognize some of the songs. ("Wow, I like that one," you think as you hum along.) And the more you drink, the more you want to participate. Finally, you gather enough courage to request a song from the guy with the big hat and oversize guitar -- "Guantanamera" or "La Bamba," you say in your best Spanish. But there's so much more to mariachi than that.

Since Arizona has a large Mexican community, an abundance of Mexican restaurants and many occasions where you might be around a mariachi, we thought it would be only right for us to provide our readers with the following list -- to fit every mood:

If You Want to Break Up With Your Ex -- "Volver, Volver"

Sample lyric: "Return, return, return to arms again. I will arrive where you are; I know how to return. Return, return, return."

If You're Looking for a Mexican Version of "My Way" -- "El Rey"

Sample lyric: "With money or without money -- I always do what I want. My word is the law."

If Your Lover Is Out Loving Someone Else -- "Paloma Negra"

Sample lyric: "I am tired of waiting for you, and the morning is not here. I don't know whether to call down evil or cry for you -- black dove, where are you?"

If You're Broke but in Love -- "No Tengo Dinero"

Sample lyric: "I don't have money, and nothing to give. All I have is love."

Or If You Just Want to Hear the Best Feel-Good Mexican Song -- "La Negra"

Sample lyric: The words make no sense. But every mariachi plays it, and the crowds love it!

Seldom does the thought of camping conjure up images of submachine guns, unless you're camping at Ben Avery Shooting Facility, where nothing says "outdoor fun" like the sound of full metal jacket shells clinking on the pavement. Covering 1,650 acres, Ben Avery is touted as "the country's largest public shooting facility," with 16 competitive rifle and pistol ranges, as well as clay target, archery and airgun ranges -- and, of course, the campground. Yeah, you have to place your targets by hand, and it's hotter than hell in summer, but it's worth it just to have an open range with nothing but a mountain (and a paper cutout of a guy's head) in front of you. Ben Avery is a great place to sight in your rifle, network with other shooters, or just drop a few hundred rounds after a hard day. But the real reason we love it: Thursday nights at 7 p.m., women shoot free.

Excited about collecting all 50 state quarters? Screw that. Nedra Soloman has a state-centric collection with some bite. Inside her Katydid Insect Museum -- reputedly the only such establishment west of the Mississippi -- is a display case with space allotted for an insect from each state. (Should you find yourself in North Dakota anytime soon, perhaps you could pick her up a little something?)

In the pest-control biz since the 1960s, Nedra and husband Al decided two years ago to share their global assortment of insects, arachnids and reptiles -- all pinned, caged and encased in exhibits named for Nedra's granddaughters.

Not drawn to a building full of black widows, snakes, termites, tarantulas and Happy the downhearted iguana? Say a quick prayer to Gratus of Aosta (patron saint for the fear of insects, duh) and face your phobias. Thanks to Nedra's knowledge and charm, the whole ordeal somehow avoids The Silence of the Lambs creepiness and becomes a pleasant educational experience. After all, this is the home of a turtle that nods hello and a scorpion about to birth 25 babies. How could it not be a place of joy?

As its name implies, it's a hamburger joint. But what other burger-n-bun shack offers Saturday afternoon tea (Long Island, though), a champagne Sunday brunch, prickly pear margarita parties, Sex and the City viewing parties, service-industry happy hours, karaoke, dollar disco daze, gay lifestyle festivals and fashion shows? Only the same place that, alongside its certified Angus beef burgers, proudly serves Dom Perignon. What better to complement a bleu cheese and bacon burger than a bottle of the $150 sparkly? It adds a certain joie de vivre to a chile size smothered in onions, or a meaty mushroom burger loaded with Cheddar and jack. Mary, you make us proud.
The 1.5-mile hike through the Boyce Thompson Arboretum is gorgeous and deeply informative any time of the year. But only in fall, as you walk down through the steep-walled Queen Creek Canyon, do you pass through hundreds of different tree species from ecosystems around the world changing colors together. It's a palette seen in few places on Earth. And surprisingly, most visitors come to the Arboretum in the spring, leaving the paths fairly quiet during this spectacular show.

One caveat this fall, though. As with much of Arizona, the drought has taken its toll on the plant life, so this autumn likely will be a replay of last year, when severe heat and dry conditions muted the colors.

As for the details: Admission is $6 for adults and $3 for children 5 to 12. Children under 5 are free. The Arboretum is open every day of the year except Christmas from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and is just about a half-hour east of Apache Junction on Highway 60.

Apache Stronghold Golf Club is becoming the hot summer golf spot for Phoenix golfers looking for something very different -- and a little bit cooler.

Part of the Apache Gold Casino/Resort complex east of Globe on the San Carlos Apache Reservation, Apache Stronghold is probably best enjoyed by the under-10-handicap crowd. Not only is it long -- more than 7,500 yards from the back tees -- but just about every shot awaits a disaster of some sort. Lightning-fast greens drop away into trouble, and undulating fairways and hidden doglegs pull even the straightest ill-conceived shots into the high Sonoran Desert.

Expect at least five shots added to your score. But also expect the hurt-so-good pleasure of being beaten by a great Tom Doak-designed course. And if that's unacceptable, just enjoy panoramic desert views unhindered by Valley development, or the 5- to 15-degree temperature reprieve you get coming up above 3,200 feet.

The San Carlos Tribe offers stay-and-play deals throughout the year. Your best bet: Load up the car with three buddies, drive up, play 18, hit the casino and spend the night -- all for $79 per person.

Recession, overbuilding and 110-degree heat can be good things.

In south Chandler, they'll allow you to play a Nicklaus Design golf course on a weekend for $9.

That's if you're willing to walk the short 18 at Bear Creek, which can be a bear in the heat. But just get there early and it's a piece of cake.

The Bear Creek short course is a maddening challenge for your short game. Nowhere in the Valley can so many sub-100-yard holes cause you so much trouble.

And because of the price, the Bear Creek short 18 is one of the best places in the Valley for a good golfer to bring his or her son or daughter. While you struggle keeping a short wedge shot on the tricky greens, kids can blast away and probably end up in equally good shape. This little course levels the playing field between parent and child, making the experience more enjoyable for the kid. And remember: If they have fun, that means you can continue to call a round of golf "quality time with the kids."

We had to rub our eyes when we read that Boyce Thompson welcomes quadrupeds (at least on leashes). But it does! We can take our pooch into Arizona's oldest historical arboretum and botanical garden without any fuss. Mining magnate Colonel William Boyce Thompson founded his arboretum in the roaring 1920s, to imbue in people an appreciation of plants. And while dogs might appreciate trees in ways different from ours, the folks at the Arboretum don't seem to mind.

Best puppy behavior is recommended (though not enforced) as you enter through the pay-by-honor snack bar. It only takes one or two snuffs of sharp cactuses to convince your pet he should stay on the trail. The walk is wonderful, easily two hours past a symphony of Arizona history, babbling brooks and traveling sculpture. You have to factor in time for bops on the head for your kids who may insist on frightening lopes along the edge of a crevasse, and to scrub off the sticky spittle of your own sweat and dried dog drool. But you, and your hyper hound, may never be as happy anywhere as you can be, for a day, at Boyce.

The expansion of the 202 Freeway east is a good thing. It allowed us to empty our car into uncharted territory in Mesa, and, as we drove around lost and clueless, to come across the Orange Patch. We were immediately taken with the farmhouse shop, surrounded by more than 200 acres of tree-ripened citrus. This is a store straight out of Harry & David's lore, stocked to the rafters with bin after bin after bag after tin of locally grown fresh-roasted-in-the-store nuts. There are also Arizona-kitsch gifts, dates, dried fruit, candies, hand-dipped chocolates, orange juice made fresh every day and ice cream. The fresh produce options are as jaw-droppingly expansive as the nut selection: fresh citrus, seasonal items such as squash, okra, tomatoes, New Mexico green chiles, Utah peaches, watermelon and cantaloupe.

Shop anywhere else? We'd have to be nuts.

Best Place To Listen To Music And Eat Chinese Food

Lucky Dragon

Johnny Chu has mastered the art of multitasking, and we're grateful as we sip hot tea over a plate of beef and broccoli, listening to live jazz. Chu doesn't only make great Chinese food with a French flair (the portobello dishes are superb) and book all kinds of music into his hole-of-a-strip-mall venue, he offers up the walls to local artists, as well.

Be thankful for the dim lighting -- the quality of art is more varied than the quality of the spring rolls -- and appreciate the fact that whether you dig art and music or not, you can still score hot and sour soup 'til 1 a.m.

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