Now that the Balkan pot that threatened to boil over so many times in the '90s has eased to a simmer, it's time to explore that mysterious, beautiful bit of old Europe. What? Say your MasterCard is maxed out and you're two months late on your child support? Well, we can't all be Tony Bourdain, jet-setting all over the globe with a massive expense account. And really, when you get right down to it, long plane flights bite the big wang. So just venture on over to west PHX, where Cafe Sarajevo has Bosnian TV on the tube, murals of Bosnian cities Sarajevo, Gorazde and Mostar on the walls, an array of Balkan groceries, VCR tapes and CDs for sale, and, best of all, eats such as goulash, and these huge sammies made of flat, buttery bread that are referred to as cevapi, after the type of stubby, mixed meat sausages that make up the innards. What with everyone talking to each other in Serbo-Croatian, you can pretend you're in some Balkan cafe, awaiting some sloe-eyed beauty who's promised to join you. At least 'til you get the check.