No Country for Old Men (Paramount) “A horror comedy chase” is how a grinning Tommy Lee Jones describes No Country for Old Men in the making-of — meanwhile, his fellow actors add to the list such adjectives as “a very primitive ride,” “a rabbit chase through Texas,” and “a very…
Was Dr. Seuss oblivious to his own genius? The allegory of his charming Horton Hears a Who! remains fluid today and, like its crafty rhymes, ebbs and flows with the times. The conviction of an innocent pachyderm known as Horton to stand up against tyranny and for the survival of…
For the crime of obliterating high culture, for the crime of getting off on vicarious degradation — and, above all, for the crime of sitting through any movie that resembles the one he’s (re)made — Michael Haneke sentences you (me, us) to Funny Games. Scratch that: to a second helping…
To the uninitiated viewer, Austrian director Michael Haneke may best be described as the modern cinema’s master of the unkind rewind. In the opening scene of his second theatrical feature, Benny’s Video (1992), we see crude camcorder footage of a farm pig being shot with a cattle gun during a…
Patapon marches to the same damned drummer, over and over again. You’ll know in the first few minutes exactly what Patapon has going for it. There’s the goofy premise, which casts you as the tribal god Patapon, lord of a band of creatures called, imaginatively enough, Patapons — little savages…
It’s impossible, watching Heather Raffo’s 9 Parts of Desire, not to be overcome by our powerlessness over the war in Iraq. I felt lazy, disconnected, oafish as Raffo’s remarkable one-woman show unfolded before me, moved not only by the depth of emotion she brought to each of her nine characters…
Director Joanna Settle is the other woman behind playwright/actor Heather Raffo’s acclaimed 9 Parts of Desire as well as a slew of other award-winning productions. She has Genet to blame for this, but takes full responsibility for her troubled relationship with schnapps. I knew I wanted to be in show…
Your windshield on the way to California. Dried barf on your shoes. A decapitated Spock. Séamus McCaffrey’s on St. Patrick’s Day. What do these have in common? They’re all splattered in green shit. But of the four, Séamus is by far the most appealing. Celebrate that tiny strain of Irish…
Green beer. Raw oysters. Tripe and onions. Meat cobbler. Ewwwwwwwww. For those who feel a kinship with the Irish but question their commitment to healthy living, try the St. Patty’s Day 8K run. There’ll also be a 1-Mile Fun Run/Walk and a Kids Leprechaun Dash. Sun., March 16, 7:30 a.m.,…
We can’t think of a better band to perform at Desert Botanical Garden than Try Me Bicycle. It’s a perfect marriage, really, as the alt/lounge group’s kickback vibe — showcasing Andrew Naylor’s peaceful lyrics and Jacob Koller’s chill-inducing piano chords — should meld well with the natural desert surroundings. It’s…
In response to his girlfriend’s loathing of late-night Latin rhythms, John Winger (as played by Bill Murray) in Stripes offers these wise words: “Tito Puente’s gonna be dead, and you’re gonna say, ‘Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years — he’s fabulous!’” The folks at AZSalsa.net keep the boogaloo…
Unless you were head cheerleader, starting quarterback, or Miley Cyrus, you’re probably still nursing some festering wounds from high school. That’s why we’re collectively drawn to movies about the Four Years Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned. As Phaedrus, the Roman author and onetime slave, put it, “All the old…
Comedian Charlie Murphy will forever be remembered as the man whose “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” sketch on Chappelle’s Show colored the world with that immortal catchphrase, “I’m Rick James, bitch!” And even though it seemed damn near impossible, back in 2004, to avoid hearing one of your co-workers or…
The French Revolution. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The oppressed escaped from the boot heel of the bourgeoisie, there were a few beheadings. Similarly, America’s pop-culture insurrection has given us great stuff like The Simpsons and the iPhone, but a lot’s been lost…
Now, it may seem odd to recommend a team that finished 69-93 in ’07, but the Kansas City Royals are making some noise in Big Mo — and in Tokyo — with their high-powered Japanese hurlers Hideo Nomo and Yasuhiko Yabuta. Best thing to happen in KC since the invention…
A single woman on the prowl starves herself, commits daily suicide on the treadmill, and hires some Russian woman to wax her mommy parts until they’re as red and hairless as a baboon’s bunghole. The only waxing single men need is for their sweet rides, which is also an easy…
There’s definitely gonna be a lot of partying going on around the Valley during St. Patrick’s Day, and one the biggest parties will undoubtedly be Padre Murphy’s annual tent hootenanny. Boasting a 16,000-square-foot tent, the annual Irish extravaganza kicks off at 11 a.m. and features a day-long celebration with fire-eaters,…
It may just be us, but the ignorance about traditional Irish culture in ’burg is quite staggering. Don’t believe us? Mention anything Celtic to the average Phoenician and you’ll likely get some drivel about the hottest team in the NBA. If we had the time, we’d march every single Ireland…
Say the word “Melrose” to anyone older than 25 and it evokes one thing: the campy, deliciously tacky TV drama brought to you by Aaron Spelling. The good folks at the Seventh Avenue Merchants Association (SAMA) are adding “shopping” and “street fest” to that mix with the Melrose on 7th…
We’ve penned quite a few pieces about the ASU-UA rivalry, with a serious bent toward the hometown Sun Devils. But we haven’t quite said what we’ve always wanted to say. Until now. Eff you, Tucson. There. We feel better. However, we won’t be satisfied until 1) the Old Pueblo sinks…
You say you’re brokenhearted? Actually, it feels like someone shoved their arms down your throat, clutched your heart, and wrung it out like a dishrag. You gagged repeatedly until you barfed out your soul. Then the poor thing was slowly torched on a spit. Now all that’s left is a…
Maybe you like it nice and slow. Yes, maybe you orgasm to a combination of walnut-oil massages, candlelight, and tastefully ribboned cock. Then again, you’re probably like the rest of us who get off on being tenderly bludgeoned by a grandpa cane. Bless your soul. However you like it, unleash…
