Axel Rose

We never thought we’d recommend something with the word “Smucker’s” in the title. (For one thing, we prefer Welch’s, the jelly underdog.) And we never imagined we’d advocate anything called “Stars on Ice,” because we’re not between the ages of 5 and 13 or 65 and 80. But we must…

Dallas in Wonderland

Great news for the Dallas Mavericks. Their core rivals in the NBA’s Western Conference, the San Antonio Spurs and Phoenix Suns, have been navigating slippery slopes this season. San Antonio’s been pistol-whipped by lesser mortals. Phoenix has been — well, you live here. All this mediocrity should have Dirk Nowitzki…

Erotic Poetry and Music Festivus

The carnal annual event features “titillating poets, outrageous musicians, and twisted performers.” Performers include Jack Evans, Shawna Franks and Bob Fisher, Mail Order Bride, Pete Petrisko, Jason Davis, the Bedouin Tribe Dancers, Ernesto Moncada, Ted Christ, Brandy Star the Mystic Muse, ddough, Vanilla Mocha, Jimbo De Bergerac, and the Of…

Brew Balls

If you asked us to name mankind’s greatest achievement over the past 100 years or so, it isn’t anything as boring as say, penicillin, television, the Internet, or even the airplane. Not even close. In our humble opinion, it’s beer pong. No shit. Sure, landing on the moon or harnessing…

Get Jiggle Wit’ It

For a real taste of jazz in this town, à la NYC-style (the best style, btw), hit up the Lost Leaf any Sunday evening and marinate your ears in the sounds of local quartet Jiggle. The band — fronted by founder/bassist Ted Sistrunk and including hot-shot drummer Shaun Lowecki and…

Phoenix Art Museum highlights the razzle-dazzle of ancient calligraphy in its “Illuminated Manuscripts” exhibit

Whether you’re a Bible-thumper, enlightened Buddhist, or totally faithless, you can’t deny that spirituality has birthed some great art. The cave drawings of Lascaux weren’t the caveman’s version of a movie theater; they were visual prayers to promote plentiful hunting and survival. Aztec temples didn’t feed any architect’s ego; they…

Current art shows, exhibitions, and installations

“The Art of David Borders: A Forty Year Survey of Painting, Collage and Assemblage” at The Chandler Center for the Arts: David Borders doesn’t offer anything new, but that’s never been his intent. For the past 40 years, this painter has looked to popular art as inspiration for his own…

New Times‘ top DVD picks scheduled for release this week

Across the Universe (Sony) The Apartment: Collector’s Edition (MGM) The Aristocats: Special Edition (Disney) Blonde and Blonder (First Look) Boy Meets Girl (Unearthed) Drive-In Cult Classics: 8 Movie Collection (Navarre) Feast of Love (MGM) Fierce People (Lionsgate) The Jane Austen Book Club (Sony) Midnight Express 30th Anniversary Edition (Sony)Psychotronica: Volumes…

How the West was wasted

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Warner Bros.) Beautifully shot, masterfully acted, and 19 hours too long, Assassination is an uneven mix of the artful and the arty that never had a shot at bringing in the audience that Brad Pitt’s chiseled melon should’ve delivered. Pitt…

There’s no treasure at the end of the terrible Fool’s Gold

When a friend recently told me that she’d been confused by the poster for the Matthew McConaughey-Kate Hudson fortune-hunting romp Fool’s Gold adorning her local multiplex — that she’d thought for sure this movie had already come and gone — I understood her bewilderment. Even as a professional film critic…

Auto erotica

Long have we waited to be taken down to the Paradise City, where the girls are green and the grass is pretty, or whatever. Now, thanks to Burnout Paradise, we know what all the fuss is about. Burnout, the crash-happy racing series from EA, puts the pedal down once again…

Fetish Revolution 8

Oh, those crazy kids over at Horns & Halos! They’re at it again with this show, where fetish/erotica wear is “mandatory.” The odd edict begs the question, what would you wear to something called Fetish Revolution 8 if it didn’t promise bodily harm? Is it common for frat boys in…

Dbacks Fan Fest

The annual family-friendly affair lets you get up close and personal with various Diamondbacks, tour the dugout and clubhouse, and more. Sat., Feb. 9, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 2008…

Symphony in DIY

For four months last year, the ASU Wind Symphony took suggestions for compositions from anyone with Internet access. The result is Wikivent: YouDesign, an hourlong potpourri that includes “Get Up!” by James Brown, new arrangements of Frank Zappa and Phish tunes, and In C by Terry Riley. Tue., Feb. 12,…

Symphony in DIY

For four months last year, the ASU Wind Symphony took suggestions for compositions from anyone with Internet access. The result is Wikivent: YouDesign, an hourlong potpourri that includes “Get Up!” by James Brown, new arrangements of Frank Zappa and Phish tunes, and In C by Terry Riley. Tue., Feb. 12,…

Climb Every Mountain

In May 2005, professional mountain climber Ed Viesturs joined the Mile-High-Plus Club by summiting Nepal’s Annapurna. It was the last of the world’s 14 8,000-meter mounts for Viesturs, and made him only the 12th climber in history to conquer ’em all. Sounds like a choice gig — kicking it at…

Finger-Pickin’ Good

More than a billion people watched world-class guitarist Tommy Emmanuel perform at the closing ceremony of the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. One of the finest finger-picking guitarists alive, the 52-year-old Emmanuel was selected to represent his native Australia, where he’s pretty much a national hero. But here, he enjoys…

Pickles in Paradise

It’s always a thrill to see how our bohemian betters live during the Willo Home Tour & Street Fair, but we prefer the fair, which attracts offbeat, under-the-radar vendors displaying their wares. This year’s group includes businesses such as Sparkling Copper Butterfly Garden, Front Page Bags, and Belinda’s Pickles. It…