How to Be a Drama Critic in Five Easy Steps

1. Start out as an overly solemn and often pretentious child with a more-than-passing interest in Gilbert and Sullivan. Worry your parents with constant criticisms of their clothing, their taste in furnishings, and their favorite television shows. Ask Santa for an IBM Selectric and a velvet-lined cape. Brood. Be sent…

This Week’s Day-by-Day Picks

THU 3There’s no reason the island sounds of reggae and the exotic music of the Middle East can’t get along, especially when beer and beautiful belly dancers are involved. Every week, Sinbad, 5004 South Price Road in Tempe, hosts Hookah Jam Thursdays, a culture dish of hookah smoking, impromptu jams,…

Snap Shots

Some superstars of photography come together in a fascinating exhibition of photographs at the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art. “Private Pictures: Photography From Arizona Collections” features work by classic shooters like Edward Steichen, Paul Strand, Cindy Sherman, Henri Cartier Bresson and Tina Modetti. It’s a greatest-hits show, the art world…

Suburban Pall

Colin Chillag’s paintings at Modified Arts make you feel like you’ve seen them before, in an earlier life. The one of a grandmotherly woman holding a baby is eerily familiar, as is the one of the middle-aged couple standing in front of an elaborately decorated cake. We’ve all lived these…

“Imperfect” Is Right

We’ve all been kicked in the junk by Marvel superheroes before. Watching Elektra was like two hours of nut-pummeling by a relentless, sack-hating donkey. But superhero films — even bad ones — gross bazillions of dollars. So it’s no surprise that Marvel is cashing in with a slew of licensed…

Cameron Crowing

Titanic: Special Collector’s Edition (Paramount Home Video) Loved and loathed in equal measure, Titanic nonetheless is among the few modern-day movies deserving of lavish treatment; this boxed set, three discs with three hours of new stuff, feels almost as big a production as the feature itself. Writer-director James Cameron, never…

End Times

I was walking out of Trader Joe’s last week when an extra-smiley man in a tie-dyed dashiki stepped in front of me. “Would you like to invite Jesus into your life to be your Savior and Lord?” he asked, beaming maniacally. “Actually, no,” I replied. “I would like to go…

Scattered Dour

The Weather Man, starring Nicolas Cage as a disappointment of a son and a failure of a father, was screened for critics in the spring, before its April release was pushed to October, ostensibly to allow for the off chance that Cage or Michael Caine (as Cage’s father) might be…

Wild, Then Crazy

Does Steve Martin have multiple personality disorder — or is he just brilliantly in tune with some things and wildly out of touch with others? Shopgirl, the movie based on Martin’s novella of the same name, is one of the most schizoid films in recent memory. It opens with crystalline…

Writes and Wrongs

This fall, the roll call of gigantic ghosts inhabiting cinematic biographies continues unabated, with Joaquin Phoenix as a shrunken Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, David Strathairn as an inscrutable Edward R. Murrow in Good Night, and Good Luck, and Philip Seymour Hoffman as the ambitiously manipulative Truman Capote in,…

Past Prime

With a name like Prime, a movie had better be about something more than an older woman digging on a younger man, much to the disapproval of the younger man’s mom. It ought to be about, oh, I dunno, math or something — like Pi or Proof or even Primer,…

Gettin’ Jiggy Again

Talk about striking while the iron is hot: It’s been only a year since Saw became an instant cult hit, as well as a topic of debate among horror fans. Was it an innovative new classic, or did the occasionally lackluster acting and ludicrous final twist doom it to also-ran…

Fairest of Them All

To the knowledgeable comic book fan, all one need say about MirrorMask is that it was scripted by Neil Gaiman and directed by Dave McKean, with a final product that, while less plot-heavy than most of Gaiman’s writing, faithfully adapts McKean’s unique drawing/collage style into three dimensions. Since those who…

Foiled Again

It’s been 85 years since Douglas Fairbanks slashed his way into the top tax bracket as the masked hero Zorro, and Hollywood still can find no reason to shut down the franchise. Technically speaking, The Legend of Zorro, starring Antonio Banderas as the guy with the sword and Catherine Zeta-Jones…

Monster Mass

The inspiration for Alwun House’s hedonistic horror-pop party Monster’s Ball was Hieronymus Bosch’s 16th-century painting Garden of Earthly Delights, or, as Alwun House co-owner Kim Moody describes it: “that painting with all the obscene little characters with flutes up their butts.” Hmm . . . that gives a whole new…

Venus Envy

A trio of female authors reading their novels at an event called the First Fiction “Diva” Tour must be a chick-lit thing, right? Wrong. Not one of the debut novelists featured on the tour writes about weight-obsessed women with lamentable love lives and penchants for Jimmy Choos. All three authors…

O Solo Trio

MON 10/31Tracy + the Plastics is not a real band. Or is it? The beauty is that it’s so hard to tell. The brain child of “lesbian feminist video artist” Wynne Greenwood, Tracy + the Plastics is a three-piece solo act. Yep, you read that right. Here’s the setup: Greenwood…

Toe Jam

SAT 10/29What is it within us that makes us want to do things like wrestle in Jell-O or pudding, bathe in spaghetti noodles, or feel mud squishing up between our toes? If you’ve been neglecting your inner child, let it loose at Kokopelli Krush, a grape-harvest celebration and foot-stomping party…

Naked Dinner

SAT 10/29Alas, you won’t see gore-rock band Samhain playing a nude set with backing vocals by a buff Samantha Stevens from Bewitched at “Rites of Hekate, Samhain 2005.” However, there will be naked Wiccans galore at the garment-optional affair, which marks the “witchiest Sabbat of the year.” The 18-and-over event…

Bite Me

10/28-11/5Bram Stoker’s famed and fanged beast has sure turned into a sexy sucker within the past 50 years. The vampire has gone from the gaunt and pallid look of Bela Lugosi to the sleek, smooth-skinned suavity of Brad Pitt, and now everybody wants to be a bloodsucker. And why not?…

New Times‘ top DVD picks for the week of October 25

ABBA: The Movie (Universal) AC/DC: And Then There Was Rock (Chrome Dreams) Alias: The Complete Fourth Season (Buena Vista) Audioslave: Live in Cuba (Sony) The Beat That My Heart Skipped (Wellspring) Bewitched (Columbia/Tristar) The Day of the Triffids (Pro-Active) Dominion: A Prequel to the Exorcist (Warner) Face (Image) Herbie: Fully…

Trails to Terror

You feel the chill in the air, that spooky tingle at the base of your spine, the growing sense of dread in the pit of your stomach. You know it’s coming, and your ass had better be prepared. We’re not talking about yet another numbskull Adam Sandler flick, pal. Nope,…