True Confessions

The whole point of summer vacation is doing nothing, or as close to it as possible. Stretching out full-length on scorching sand, a sighing emerald lawn, a porch swing, a deck chair, a chaise longue, rearranging knees and elbows to find the best pose possible for turning pages with one…

Idiot Girl, Interrupted

While the rest of us are roasting on the spit of yet another Phoenix summer, Laurie Notaro will be holed up in air-conditioned comfort, pounding out her fourth collection of humor essays for Random House. Which sounds cool and kind of glamorous, until you ask her about it. “Oh, God,”…

Old Faithful

If the summer movie season is our annual time for escapism, last summer’s audiences escaped most often with the likes of Hulk, Terminator 3 and The Matrix Reloaded. Those titles, respectively, ended in a homeless and penniless hero, the end of life on Earth as we know it, and our…

T.G.I.F.

We’ve even found a great Fourth of July party. Read on . . . First Friday Reacting to the touristification of downtown Phoenix, artists have long begged people to get downtown and support the art scene there. They need beg no more, as thousands of people flock downtown every first…

Nightlife

All events subject to change. Call venue first to confirm details. DJ/Dance Music Weekly events Acme Bar & Grill: 4525 N. Craftsman Ct., Scottsdale, 480-990-7111. Tuesdays & Fridays: Translator (hip-hop). Saturdays: DJ Jason (Top 40, hip-hop). Acme Roadhouse: 855 S. Rural Rd., Tempe, 480-517-1818. Thursdays: DJ J. Alan (house). Fridays,…

Damn This Traffic Jam

You can dress a bunch of actors in grease-stained coveralls and make them sing a lot of songs about women they’d like to bed, but give them synchronized dance moves to do and they’ll always look like a line of chorus girls. Proof of this is expertly and rather loudly…

After the Fall

Those seeking a spiritual counterpart to the yin of Lynne Ramsay’s masterfully moody Morvern Callar will find their yang in David Mackenzie’s exquisitely sorrowful Young Adam. Art-house aficionados may recall that in Ramsay’s recent film, a young male writer commits suicide, leaving his simple girlfriend to absorb his very being…

B. Fudding

Charles Banaszewski — Chuck B., for the phonetically challenged — is about to embark on his grandest theatrical production yet. But for now, on a Tuesday night at Casey Moore’s pub in Tempe, Banaszewski is preparing for his role as empathetic bartender. Banaszewski, a buff and bespectacled 32-year-old upstate New…

Chair Game

When the Phoenix Coyotes fail and the Arizona Diamondbacks don’t deliver, it might be time to invest our loyalty in a new breed of athlete — one the average office Joe can relate to. Representing every cubicle-dwelling dweeb and hardworking, soft-bellied stiff of corporate America, the fourth annual Aeron Chair…

Monster Mash

6/4-6/6 Attention mortals: Steer clear of Chandler this weekend, as the suburb will be overrun by vampires, werewolves and similar hellspawn . . . at least in the minds of the perverse playmakers at Tinhare 2004. Put away the pitchforks and hang up on Buffy and Willow, because the gathering…

Alice in Tights?

6/4-6/5 Thirty years ago, Alice Cooper was a ghoulish rocker, hell-bent on sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Now he’s writing show tunes. In all fairness, Destiny Dancers’ Mosaic 2004, showing at the Orpheum Theatre, 225 East Adams, on Friday, June 4, and Saturday, June 5, does possess all of…

Ballethoo

6/3-6/6 George Balanchine once opined, “In my ballets, woman is first. . . . They are not equal to men: They are better.” Well, the old Russki would be proud, as Ballet Arizona’s celebration of the legendary choreographer’s 100th birthday spotlights women — one woman, to be exact: Yen-Li Chen-Zhang…

Gong Show

6/7-7/28 So, young grasshopper, you have much to learn about the ancient Chinese exercise of Qi Gong (also referred to as “Chinese yoga”), a massively growing trend among those who need to chill out. Apparently, you are doing much good and, therefore, good has come to you, as Phoenix College,…

This Week’s Day-by-Day Picks

Thu 27 We’ll admit it, we newshounds are often boozehounds. Something about the crunch of the ever-present deadline drives one to drink (admitting the problem is the first step). So the Bridgeport Beer Tasting at Papago Brewing Company, 7107 East McDowell in Scottsdale, on Thursday, May 27, will quench our…

Straight to Helen

Sitting through Raising Helen is an exercise in frustration, because somewhere inside this big heap of Hollywood nothing is a something (someone, actually) worth saving and savoring. Her name is Joan Cusack, always a supporting player but never a star, no matter her grace and warmth and charm even in…

McRibbing

What becomes of Morgan Spurlock’s body after a month of eating and drinking nothing but McDonald’s assembly-line foodstuffs is not surprising. He bloats up, gaining nearly 30 pounds in 30 days. His sex drive peters out, among the myriad disappointments visited upon Spurlock’s vegan-chef girlfriend, who’s only too happy to…

War Paint

Zac Barnholdt isn’t shy about his favorite pastime. “It’s really fun shooting people,” he says. “It’s very exciting, with the adrenaline rush and all. I mean, there’s nothing better than hunting humans.” Don’t worry — the soft-spoken Phoenix resident (it’s always the quiet ones) won’t be rolling through your neighborhood…

War and Pieces

5/27-5/28 The standard fare, when exhibiting the horrors of war, includes photos of the dead, pierced helmets, and blood-splattered letters from weary soldiers. But what about the women left behind, whose work is never done — especially in times of war? ASU’s Museum of Anthropology and School of Art explore…

Let’er Drip

Fri 5/28 “We have acrylics, oils, photography from color [to] black and white,” says Jessica Jordan, manager and part-owner of Tempe’s Wet Paint Art Supply & Gallery. “Basically, if it comes through my door, I’ll put it on my wall.” Wet Paint is the ultimate transvestite. By day, it’s an…

Sleeper Hit

Small local theater productions have a way of inviting comparison to current events — intentionally or not. Take George Washington Slept Here, which premières at the Tempe Performing Arts Center, 132 East Sixth Street, at 8 p.m. Friday, May 28. The play, written by Pulitzer Prize winners George S. Kaufman…

Queen of the Bees

She’s 14 years old, cute as heck, and she can spell “festschrift.” Which ought to come in handy when Ingleside Middle School eighth-grader Maddy Kloss represents all of Arizona next week at the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. The winner of the 2004 State Spelling Bee is no Little…

A Good Buzz

The first time through, you might dismiss Coffee and Cigarettes as a filmmaker’s recess, playtime before the serious business of making a real feature. Jim Jarmusch never intended this new movie, a collection of 11 shorts made over the last two decades, to be a movie at all. It began…