The morons who built my backyard fire pit had everything figured out to the last detail, except for one thing. They forgot that fire – a critical component of any fire pit, I would think – is hot. The first time I used the contraption, it collapsed. The weak concrete…
Q. I’m looking for teppanyaki in Chandler, preferably near the new mall. A. The new Hon macHi Grill (yes, that’s its name) is just north of Chandler Fashion Center at 3450 West Chandler Boulevard. The chefs fire up the teppanyaki tables for dinner, with choices like calamari, chicken, shrimp and…
When my mother was alive, we would take weekend trips to Tijuana for eating binges that I still remember fondly. You know what I’m talking about food so good that you can’t stop eating it. A food-a-thon so out of control that it requires you to undo the top button…
Bite Me has come to count on Portland’s downtown for its delectable desserts, chicken Caesar topped with epic black bread croutons, and sinful duck breast. She had no idea, however, that the place also served Raging Lunatic Pork Belly. Let Bite Me explain. Portland’s had recently started a wine-tasting night…
Imagine chef Vincent Guerithault as cafeteria server, ladle in hand. Or Christopher Gross behind the counter at a 400-seat hotel coffee shop, cranking out breakfast, lunch and dinner in a never-ending blur. Or picture Eddie Matney’s uniquely eccentric cooking style repackaged for vending machines across the nation. It just doesn’t…
Once, I was just like most people. My thinking was that all Mexicans ate the same. How ignorant I was. Now, I’ve done extensive traveling and studied Mexican cuisine from all aspects and regions. And here’s the skinny: The perception that all Mexicans eat their food muy picante screaming hot…
Too many people I’ve met wrinkle their noses at the prospect of joining me for a Vietnamese meal. I can’t get them to seek out delicacies like pho bo vien, a magical masterpiece of soup that’s rich and complex with slender rice noodles, beef meatballs, bean sprouts and a flurry…
Q. Where’s a good place for Middle Eastern food and entertainment? A. Shake your stuff with the belly dancers at Sinbad Restaurant on the northwest corner of Price and Baseline in Tempe. Professional troupes perform for diners seated under a Bedouin tent. Get stuffed with tasty favorites like hummus, tabbouleh,…
“Good Morning, Arizona!” Bite Me about leapt out of her Lucky Jeans when she was rudely awakened by some loud-ass morning DJ’s cock-a-doodle declaration that the dawn had indeed arrived. Let’s catch y’all up. See, your ever-perky host had spent the previous afternoon at the Fox Sports Grill soaking up…
It’s amazing how different you feel when you cross over the imaginary line dividing Mexico and the U.S. You go south, for example, and suddenly the Coca-Cola is a beverage worth drinking. Unlike the bland American version, Mexican Cokes come in slender glass bottles and go down hard — just…
I remember with remarkable clarity the first time I realized that fish wasn’t just something you ate breaded, deep-fried and dipped in tartar sauce. Oh, I’d seen real seafood, and I was suspicious. That stuff that grown-ups ate was weird, flat and slimy, and it smelled like old sweat. The…
Bite Me’s been blowin’ in the wind since hittin’ Phoenix from Lotusland. Cruising up and down Camelback, Central and Scottsdale Road, looking for hot restaurant spots — the kind that will let her accost diners as they emerge from their repasts. (Look, you idiots, it’s free publicity for your divine…
Like all good addictions, it started small really small. Just a little one to try it out. Then, slowly, I found myself spending nights fixated on how it would feel to have more. Yes, I wanted more. I had to have it. “Just one more,” I would tell myself, as…
Sometimes I think I’ll go nuts if I’m faced with another plate of ho-hum restaurant chicken-and-vegetables, steak-and-potatoes, or fish-and-pasta. So the opportunity to try something new – and not just a new restaurant, but a new style of cooking altogether – has me champing at the bit. I can’t wait…
Bite Me’s found her thrill. Slap her ass, and take her to Durant’s again and again. The joint’s gotta have the planet’s juiciest prime rib, plus the most delicious cocktails ever. Folks, this galloping gourmet (not!) ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie. In fact, she’s not sure she even knows how to…
Those lazy Mexicans. Surely you’ve seen them, for they are everywhere. Always sitting down taking a siesta instead of working. My siblings and I spent most of our youth as the only non-white family in a small rural school in California, where I would hear things such as, “You lazy…
Silvana Salcido Esparza must know what it’s like to be loved. Since opening her Barrio Café last summer, she’s been positively drowning in adulation. The fickle dining public has embraced the chef in such passion, lines of would-be diners snake down the bistro’s sidewalk, thanks to a “no reservations” policy…
Restaurant expansion. It’s a little like sending a child out into the world. You know your infant needs to grow. You want your tot to succeed. But there’s that tug at the heart as you find yourself wishing that somehow, the kid could stay a tiny baby forever. That’s sort…
I had a disaster on my hands. In just hours, guests would begin arriving at my holiday party, and here I was, driving around in circles in a dilapidated south Phoenix neighborhood looking for a small woman holding a big bundle of food. My food, that is. The food I’d…
Oh, wow. That’s all I can say about the Golden Swan at Hyatt Regency Scottsdale. I stopped in for dinner the other night, and couldn’t believe what treasures I found. There’s a new chef in the swanky resort restaurant. There’s a new style of cuisine being prepared. And there’s a…
If I’d blinked, I wouldn’t have noticed it. But there, tucked in a nameless Fry’s shopping center in a particularly anonymous-looking part of bland, sprawling Mesa, lay a hidden jewel: a Peruvian restaurant. My new game had paid off. I was trying a new experiment in driving. I decided that,…
It’s a few minutes past the noon hour, and my hot dog lies limp and ruined, a wizened gray tube of half-eaten meat on a soggy heap of celery-salt-dusted bun. Around it sprawls a litter of neon green relish, bits of slippery pickle, sliced tomato and sports peppers. To the…
