Rock Crock

American music magazines suck. Rolls off the tongue, don’t it? Saunter down the length of a magazine rack and scowl at the teen-pop hoochie starlets, the drooling trend-pigism (“The Strokes! The Hives! The White Stripes!”), the vapid rock-star puff pieces, the gutless corporate-hummer reviews. No balls. No brains. No heart…

Big? Try Huge!

“That’s just one little facet of what I do, so that’s a bit of a problem,” says Canadian-born guitar god Pat Travers, whose modest place in rock history is welded by his 1980 hit “Snortin’ Whiskey,” possibly the most bombastic hard-rock anthem of all time. Too bad for him, but…

It Ain’t Good — So What?

Now is the time when critics grace us with their selections of the year’s best music. Heck, we’ll be telling you what ruled in 2002 ourselves next week (a sample: Wilco, the Streets, Arizona’s Michelle Branch, Johnny Cash). The older I get, however, the more I question the exercise. Are…

Mariah Carey/Jennifer Lopez

Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez are two-of-a-kind polar opposites. Marketed as bronze bombshells, they’ve crossed freely between black and white pop realms like few other stars. Their bastardized African-American music has been partly legitimized, perhaps, by their mixed-race status (Carey is a bit of everything; Lopez is pure Puerto Rican,…

Grant Green

Grant Green recently was featured on the cover of one of the glossy jazz magazines as the most underrated guitarist in the music’s history, according to a critics’ poll. This writer participated in the poll but voted for other musicians, mostly because Green always has been rated quite highly by…

Snoop Dogg

“Nizzle, fizzle. Babizzle!” Yup, big Snoop Dogg’s back. And this time, having sworn off fat sacks of the sticky green and monotonous production tricks, our Dogg is ready to take over the world with a mind-blower of a new album, Paid tha Cost to Be da Bo$$. Long regarded as…

Baboon

The title of Baboon’s new album, Something Good is Going to Happen to You, is truth in advertising, so long as you crack the shrink wrap and give it a few listens or, better yet, a few hundred. The title would apply just as easily to the band had someone…

Neil Diamond

I was raised by parents who loved middle-of-the-road pop. You know, Melissa Manchester, Boz Scaggs, Chicago, Country Joe and the Fish, Don McLean, Barbra Streisand, Linda Ronstadt, the Eagles . . . and so on. As I grew, so, too, did I wince. I’ll give Mom and Dad credit, though,…

Nashville Pussy

Nashville Pussy named itself after obscene stage banter from a Ted Nugent live record and actually titled an album Let Them Eat Pussy. The Georgia quartet features two sleazy-looking dudes and two really sleazy-looking chicks, including one whose breasts perpetually threaten to explode from her blouse. Basically, the group looks…

Hokey for the Holidays

There’s a saying among French Catholic schoolboys. “When you blaspheme, it only means you still believe,” this quaint morsel of wisdom goes. That may or may not be true, but it sure sounds about right. Christmas is a little like that contradiction: The harder you pump up the cynicism, the…

Family Jewels

Sergio Lombo, suave leader of the 10-piece band Pazport, steps to the mike at Axis/Radius, the pretty-people Scottsdale nightclub where the band plays every Tuesday. The Colombian native, sporting a ponytail, John Lennon shades and a leather jacket, plays percussion and belts out lyrics to the band’s unusual mix of…

Arjona

I’m into poetry. I wrote a few lines. Don’t worry, I offer just a few. This one details the passing of time: “The past is thirsty, and the present is an athlete with no feet.” Do you like it? How about this one? “In the branch of hell there are…

Insane Clown Posse

Who’s goin’ Jesus hunting? ICP’s goin’ Jesus hunting! Yes, the sixth Joker’s Card has finally been revealed, its message delivered after 10 years of buildup. Because most Juggalos snapped up The Wraith on release day (it debuted at number 15 on the Billboard chart), it’s safe to let the cat…

Phish

The hiatus is over. The world is safe for trampoline high jinks and glowstick wars. The mighty Phish, once burned out and rudderless, has returned to fill the longstanding jam-band hole its absence created two years ago. And what’s a rejuvenated jam band to do but jam hard over the…

The Roots

As human beings evolve, we continue to realize our growing potential. The limitless possibilities allow for a sense of excitement as each generation grows from the next. The soul of hip-hop is undergoing the same evolution. The exemplary album of the moment is the Roots’ Phrenology. The group’s stunning soul-hip-hop…

Asylum Street Spankers

What the hell is it? Does it count as blues? Or country-western? Or perhaps it’s all just a put-on? Whatever it is they’re really doing, you can’t accuse Austin’s Asylum Street Spankers of not possessing an overradiating intelligence. The band mixes folk, torch music, jump blues — basically anything with…

Pam Tillis

It ain’t easy being a second-generation artist, especially when your father is as colorful, prolific and beloved as Mel Tillis, the longtime country star known for his charming stutter. But Pam Tillis, possessor of exotic beauty and gregarious personality traits of her own, has managed just fine. After years of…

Off the Rails

Precisely why Guns N’ Roses’ North American tour came to an abrupt end last week, days before it was scheduled to hit America West Arena, may be a mystery never totally untangled. Sure, there have been hints and rumors: Front man Axl Rose insisted the New York City show two…

Rocanrol Heartburn

Gerardo Montenegro, the Mexico-born owner of Phoenix underground record store Metal Devastation, is getting fed up with promoting his beloved rock en español, so much so that lately he’s found himself concentrating more on metal en ingles. “When I do shows with white bands, I don’t have many problems. Everybody…

Immigration Blues

Volovan, an up-and-coming four-piece band from rocanrol hotbed Monterrey, Mexico, that blends Beach Boy harmonies, melodic pop and punk, finds itself in controversy here in the States as it attempts to reach a growing audience. At issue is the Immigration and Naturalization Service’s refined application for U.S. work visas, altered…

Nita’s on the Move — Thankfully

The old Nita’s Hideaway in Tempe hosts its last show December 15, but lovers of rock’s artistic fringe won’t weep when its doors close for good — and neither will the place’s owner. Mark Covert, 55, surveys the construction site of what will be the new Nita’s, a 14,250-square-foot wooden…

TLC

The new TLC record feels less icky to me than the last Who tour, but I’m not sure why. Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey explained their quick return to the road in July with a well-paid session guy in John Entwistle’s place as a tribute to the enduring spirit of…