Dear Gabachos: You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after the Senate allowed an amnesty bill to collapse like the pesos value, ustedes bombarded the Mexican with typo-heavy valentines. To commemorate Americas latest amnesic spell regarding its immigrants and assimilation (previous examples include the Chinese Exclusion Act, the…
This brazen buzzard found out firsthand just how much he’s despised by car-peddler Rusty Childress’ confederates while crashing (in disguise) one of the wing-nutty gabfests Childress holds every Thursday night at his Phoenix KIA dealership. Assembled anti-immigrationists spent a whole half an hour ranting and scheming about this blushing bird-of-paradise…
SHOP TALK Greenes odyssey: Great story on Sam Greene’s big adventure (“The Wheel World,” Michele Laudig, July 5). The fact that he worked for 20 years with no luck (well, he made $200 from his writing) makes his recent success with American Body Shop so much more appealing. It’s not…
Outside the entrance of ASU’s old gym on a warm Saturday in May, hundreds of teenage girls stand in full prom get-ups, chattering, shrieking, and hugging in the way only adolescent girls should. It’s a windy day and the girls fidget with their hair and poofy dresses while they wait…
What a mother! One of the latest Bird boycott letters, signed by Stephanie Harris of Mothers Against Illegal Aliens As Feathered Bastard’s co-clucker The Bird mentioned this week in his column, Rusty’s World, some New Times advertisers have been receiving various versions of the above form letter, distributed at Randy…
Hey, that’s one way to keep him off the OxyContin… It’s a rare event when I agree with the likes of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, and so on. But when it comes to liberals and prominent Democrats who want to revive the so-called “Fairness Doctrine,” the…
In my ongoing attempt to spotlight what noteworthy PHX graff I can find out on those much-buffed streets, here are a few snaps I shot this Sunday while driving around. One is definitely from the SOS crew, the others I have no idea about, so feel free to school me…
Yours truly with rocker Evan Seinfeld and the hella-hot Tera Patrick… Porn mogul and First Amendment defender Larry Flynt has long been my personal hero. Technically, he’s also my old boss, as I used to write for Hustler back in the day, though I’ve only talked to him while interviewing…
The Chez’s beauties: Gyana (left); Naima (right); and Amina Uben (center), mother of both. It’s been such a hectic week with the Fourth and all, that I haven’t had a chance to blog about the last night at Chez Nous, the 40-plus year-old drinking parlor at Indian School Rd. and…
Unrelated to the following, an actual pink firearm that I found at www.jimsgunsupply.com. A national underground movement of pink pistol packin’ lesbos runnin’ around, attacking het doods, and forcibly “indoctrinating” straight chicks into the lesbian lifestyle? As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot.” Sadly, it’s not true, though when I…
I welcome the inclusion of a nice, big scoop of chopped habañeros in the bland casserole that is America. I must admit, however, it gave me pause the other day when I saw an all-too-typical familia of recent arrivals at Kmart: mom, pop and four kids less than 5 years…
People are getting restless. The oppressive late-afternoon sun is glaring down on the parking lot outside Desert Body & Custom in Chandler, and about 50 onlookers — many of them in wheelchairs — are gathered, waiting for the body shop owner to stop fidgeting with a shoddy microphone. He’s standing…
They’re partyin’ in the trailer parks. Pass out the free Skoal and Old Milwaukee. The knuckledragger Know Nothings, wing-nut nativists, white supremacists, and toothless beaner-bashers won the day as hopes for a Congressional compromise on comprehensive immigration reform were trounced in the U.S. Senate. “Down in Flames! Amen and Halaluya!”…
Robert Stempkowski knows restaurants. He’s been a bartender, a server, and a manager. He’s kept the plates coming at the Valley’s hot spots (Richardson’s) and way-too-posh spots (Mary Elaine’s). As a freelance critic, he’s eaten some of the best food metropolitan Phoenix has to offer, and undoubtedly some of the…
STICKIN TO JOE Our own Idi Amin: Unbelievable! Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s now asking the city of Phoenix for public records on travel (“Bird Alert,” Stephen Lemons, June 28) when he’s refused time and again to turn over public records to New Times — despite a state law requiring him to…
Ready and waiting for Russell Pearce to mount… Surprise, surprise. Lacking the political cover of a successful U.S. Senate immigration reform package, AZ’s spineless chief executive yesterday signed into law a seriously flawed Russell Pearce piece of legislation, the sole intent of which is to discriminate against those with brown…
Run Goober, Run: Gordon can’t escape tough questions from his own party. (Photo from Phil’s Web site.) Saturday, I made my way down to the Maricopa County Democratic Party convention being held on the west side at the Carpenter Union Training Center because both Mayor Phil “Goober” Gordon and Jarrett…
The last drink pours Saturday… Phoenix’ll be a lot less cool for the next couple of months, and I ain’t talkin’ about the friggin’ heat island. This Saturday, the venerable soul lounge Chez Nous pours its final cocktail after 40-plus years in the drink-slingin’ biz. The Chez’s been forced out…
Counterdemos at the June 16 racist fest: Multiply this by about 300, make it meaner than a junkyard dog, and it’d be just about right to battle assholes like… …Buffalo Dick. For the moment, the retard rednecks have won. A vocal, vile, and sometimes violent minority of American citizens –…
BFF? J.T. Ready and Russell Pearce arm-in-arm, from the white nationalist White Knights of America Web site. The degree to which vile extremist organizations and individuals are welcomed into the fold of Arizona’s anti-immigration movement never ceases to amaze me. In other states, sharing a stage with a white supremacist…
Sheriff Nickel Bag Joe Arpaio’s a regular investigatin’ fool these days, pokin’ his bulbous, veiny snout into light rail, Maricopa County community colleges, Attorney General Terry Goddard’s bidness, and now, Phoenix city government’s travel reimbursements. At the beginning of this month, the Sheriff put in a public records request to…
Billy Shields is a heavyweight in every sense of the word. He’s a strapping firefighter who personifies the Irish charm that goes with the stereotype. He’s also big politically. For the past nine years, he’s run the United Phoenix Firefighters Association, widely regarded as the most powerful union in the…
