Health food was always on the menu at the small south Scottsdale apartment where Blair and Kimu Parker lived with their three children. The Parkers were vegan, a common but less-than-household term that sounds distinctly extraterrestrial, possibly because the star Vega has spawned numerous science-fiction aliens that bore the name…
As if this outraged owl needed more proof that Maricopa County’s gone mad, Sheriff “Nickel Bag” Joe Arpaio announced two months ago that he would implement a new policy on jail mail on May 1. That is, inmates ain’t allowed none. Or nearly none. Already, prisoners of Arpaio’s gulags can…
You don’t have to be Al Gore to believe solar power is a good thing. But try telling that to Lynn DeMuth’s homeowners association. DeMuth, a project director at the University of Phoenix, lives on a quiet Chandler street lined with stucco and Spanish tile. She says that she and…
If attorney Steve Dichter could have gotten away with kicking his client Bob Owens to shut him up at the con man’s recent sentencing, he probably would have. After years of police investigation, news stories (starting with New Times’ “Catch Him If You Can,” August 12, 2004), a grand jury…
SQUEEZING LEMONS A true patriot speaks: I just read Stephen “Fat Boy” Lemon-head’s blog about the counter-demonstration at the Beaner rally downtown the other day, and I’m sick and tired of him maligning true patriots who’re defending this country from the invasion — and I do mean the invasion —…
Gracias, gracias, gracias for ustedes who bought the Mexican’s book last week (deportation for those who haven’t). I’ve done mucho national press because of the interest — the list includes Talk of the Nation, FOX News Live, Paula Zahn Now, The Tom Leykis Show, The Glen Beck Show, BBC and…
What I wanna know is how long before someone attempts a dive off this puppy? If the Denver Post, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and certain online testimonials are to be believed, the much ballyhood Grand Canyon Skywalk may be a colossal dud, an eyesore, or at the very…
So, like, frogs are hosers, eh? Shane Doan shows the Frenchies his stick. If you think America’s becomming too PC, take a look at doin’s up in the Great White North, where makin’ fun of frogs will get the Parliament on your ass. By frogs, I mean those cheese-eatin’ surrender…
Preach on, my revolutionary, rich-ass brother…. Right-wing lip-flapper Darrell Ankarlo of the Mormon-owned KTAR 92.3FM had an eyebrow-lifter of a show this a.m., dealing with the statements of Rage Against the Machine firebrand Zack de la Rocha during the recent Rage reunion at Coachella. If you haven’t heard about it,…
Moreno Spangaro’s gelato is so good that more than once, someone’s tried to steal his secret recipe out of Arlecchino, the pint-sized gelateria he runs next door to La Grande Orange, in a strip mall that houses some of the best taste in town. Turns out, you’d have to kidnap…
This sardonic sky-soarer’s been spending a butt-load of hours on the Net of late, studying all the far-right ravens on the neo-Nazi networking site Newsaxon.com, a racist MySpace, where bigoted dillweeds with time on their hands and Adolf Hitler in their hearts can let their fascist freak flags fly. As…
Because even newspaper columnists are supposed to believe in that whole innocent-until-proven-guilty thing, I can’t tell you that Congressman Rick Renzi is a crook. But I can tell you this: Rick Renzi is a liar. New Times readers may remember that, last fall, we broke the news that Renzi had…
RUSTY NAILED From the Kia dealer/activist himself: Regarding The Bird’s column (“Bigot Bash,” Stephen Lemons, April 19; also see “Ready Racist,” The Bird, April 26), United for a Sovereign America believes in the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, including free speech, as colorful as some attendees’ speech may be from…
Im a gringa married to a mexicano and we have a 3-year-old son. His family is wonderful, for the most part, and they adore my son, but as he is getting older, his tíos are trying to “toughen him up” and make him more macho. So far, theyve taught him…
Hate signage left over from Tuesday’s counter-protest at the capitol… I tore-ass down to the big pro-immigration march Tuesday, where I made like a Scud missle for the United for a Sovereign America counter-protest, consisting of 50-to-100 dillweeds led by local Kia-dealer and Hispanic-panic-purveyor Rusty Childress. Childress and his screwy…
Watson in better days… The (alleged) salon bandit strikes again! Minus the hand-in-bag trick this time. Seems Joe Watson’s reaching out for help from friends and family from behind the walls of Sheriff Joe’s Lower Buckeye housing unit, asking for some help with scrilla ’cause he needs it to pay…
Come on, Newsaxonites, let’s hug it out! Well, seems the neo-Nazi numbnuts at Newsaxon.com, aka the racist MySpace, have blocked New Times’ IP address from accessing their site ever since Wednesday, when I posted the item ” Newsaxon.com, the neo-Nazi MySpace, with hot racist chicks galore.” What, are the skinheads…
KING OF PAIN This cantankerous coot’s cranium’s been throbbin’ with irony-overload watching Sheriff “Nickel Bag” Joe Arpaio crown himself Maricopa County’s anti-corruption czar, with aid and comfort from our wing-nutty County Attorney Candy Thomas. The hypocritical hosers have formed a partnership they call MACE (Maricopa County Anti-Corruption Enforcement), which has…
Michael Apelt is a scammer of the first degree. Apelt arrived in the United States from his native Germany in 1988. He was 25. In four short months, he flim-flammed more people than many con men do in a lifetime. He never studied English in school, yet expressed himself well…
ARBORING TERROR? Send the man packing: How can this guy still be in the United States after all of this? (“The Algiers Connection,” Ray Stern, April 12.) It’s unbelievable! If Sofiane Laimeche is not a terrorist, as he claims, he certainly seems to have connections to them. The tone of…
Dear Readers: The Reconquista has arrived! On Tuesday, May 1, Ask a Mexican! comes out in book form, gracias to the literary madmen at Scribner. Expect more of the same, but más: more essays, more illustrations from Mark Dancey (the gabacho who created this column’s logo), and more questions. Below…
On a quiet morning in early January, Kathryn Milun sits at a table in the back corner of a Tempe coffee shop, hunched over a huge stack of papers. Not long ago, that stack might have held papers to grade. Milun used to be a popular professor at ASU. But…
