Chuey’s greatest fantasy: To have knocked boots with Natalee Holloway before she croaked. This Friday’s wack-ass poll is dedicated to my personal hero Chuey the Rock ‘n’ Roll Midget, famous for hosting the Wed. night Wheel of Fear Factor at Giligin’s in Scottsdale. I profiled their Howard Stern-esque antics in…
When Arizona State University students filed back into the classroom this week, Bob Pettit found himself someplace he hasn’t been for a very long time: an introductory chemistry lab. Pettit is one of the top organic chemists in the world, and his cancer research is recognized as some of the…
This ornery oriole gags over the way most of the P-town press plays cocker spaniel to Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Take, for example, the myth that he’s the roughest, toughest lawman since Wyatt Earp, despite Arpaio’s dismal record handling the two main jobs of his office — process server and jailer…
Trans Action Off-color comments: I’m grateful that you wrote on this subject. Not many people write about this sort of topic (“Tranny-Gate,” The Bird, Stephen Lemons, December 28). And while I do not know the individuals involved, I would like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I believe…
I’m a 60-year-old Chicano and proud. Why do young Chicanos keep imitating blacks? They dress like blacks, talk like blacks, listen to black music, and hang with blacks. Aren’t they proud of their own culture? Why don’t they embrace Hispanic ways and learn about Hispanic history? Say It Loud! I’m…
http://www.ktar.com/ A face only Herman Munster’s wife Lily could love. Darrell Ankarlo’s KTAR 92.3 FM morning show is talk radio for people who think Dane Cook’s a friggin’ comic genius. His shtick is to appeal to the lowest common denominator while seeming reasonable and in possession of some profound mental…
courtesy M. Delgina Through a glass darkly: Michelle Delgina still wants to use the chick’s loo at Anderson’s… Michelle Delgina, one of the transgendered chicks-with-sticks who’s demanding to use the female facilities at Anderson’s Fifth Estate in Scottsdale, sent along pics of herself recently, and I thought I’d share. One…
www.southparkstudios.com Towlie wants to know what you like to do when you hitta da bong… It’s Friday, and that means it’s time for my first ever Friday Top Ten, in which I’ll poll the New Times staff on a subject, post that bitch, and ask you, the vast New Times…
Coming soon to a chick’s loo near you… As Ray Davies sang so long ago, “Girls will be boys and boys will be girls/ It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world…” And indeed, some in the Valley’s pre-op community are determined to pee standing up at Anderson’s Fifth…
If Biltmore Fashion Park’s lookin’ paler than normal — whiter even than the line at a NASCAR concession stand — this bilious blackbird can tell ya why. Seems the swank, Vegasy restaurant-bar-nightclub io, which catered mostly to an upscale African-American crowd, has been kicked to the curb by AZ mall…
Runaway Train Hate to say we told you so, but . . . : Ray Stern’s “Stop Your Railing!” article (December 28) did everything expected of a New Times exposé. It showed the good, the bad and even the structurally ugly specifics of a very visible regional situation. However, as…
Why do non-Mexicans consider it a compliment when they tell Mexicans they don’t look Mexican? I am 100 percent Mexican — 5’7″, with black hair, brown eyes and olive skin — and ever since I left my hometown of El Paso, I’ve been subject to this backhanded compliment. No Soy…
Valley business mogul Karl Eller was well aware that Bill Bidwill was a chronic loser when he began courting him in 1987 to bring his football team to Arizona. “Who didn’t know?” Eller asks. “In pro football, your record is there for everyone to see. And the Cardinals have had…
Is that Gary Busey in The Buddy Holly Story? Nah, it’s Ankarlo, happy as a pig in a turd pond after lickin’ Arpaio’s wingtips. So the Mormon-owned 92.3 FM KTAR didn’t waste much time showing the world what they’re all about with their new FM frequency by planting their premium…
More hot nurses that CNA copped from the U.K.’s Sun tabloid. Anyone doubting the Heart Attack Grill’s triumphant victory over the forces of political correctness as led by the speech police at the Maryland-based Center for Nursing Advocacy should check out the updates at HAG’s website. The page touts recent…
A common bedbug, Cimex lectularius, perhaps munchin’ out on Alison Trainer’s ass? When I first read this story online, I thought it said that Oprah got bedbugs from Paris Hilton. Then I stopped eating my toejam and reread it, “Opera singer sues Hilton claiming bedbugs attacked her.” Seems the opera…
Address Code Selectively enforcing the law: Brilliant tactic to run that embarrassing fool Joe Arpaio’s home address on the front page of New Times (“Joe Strikes Back,” The Bird, Stephen Lemons, December 21). I’ve never laughed so hard as when I saw his bulbous red nose on that stamp. All…
Dear Readers: Bienvenidos to 2007, a year I promise will bring even more Mexicans across our nation’s borders! And a bienvenidos to Salt Lake City Weekly, the latest member of the Mexican’s family (note to weak-kneed publishers: If a rag in Utah can run this column, why can’t yours?). As…
http://www.danacarvey.net/ “Former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see an ex-Prez get planted. Despite the nonstop eulogizing that has gone on for the last week, the ceaseless yapping about how Ford was a decent guy, and gosh-darnit,…
Yo, Lani, got a last-minute Xmas gift for ya… What pisses me off more than PHX light-rail construction, Mayor Phil “I’m a Pissant” Gordon, and the fact that most P-town restaurants close before 10pm? Answer: Tards who write me letters calling me a cross between Satan and Sasquatch, while using…
Heh, not every gal has one of these… No surprise that this week’s issue of the PHX gay-lesbian rag Echo includes a news story on the feud between Tom Anderson of Anderson’s Fifth Estate and local “diversity activist” Michele De Lafreniere. Nor was it a surprise that Echo essentially echoed…
Fernwood 2Nite’s Barth Gimble (Martin Mull, left) and Jerry Hubbard (Fred Willard, right). Think Greg Patterson’s a fan? How do you know when someone’s brain has been gnawed away by provincialism? I’m not talking about reporting or discussing local events, restaurants, bars, happenings, etc. All of that’s fair game, whether…
