“Take a hit off this Indo, Kreme,” Snoop Dogg advises, passing me a spliff the size of a Subway sandwich. “One toke’ll give you Chinese eyes, nephew.” I grab the fatty and inhale ’til the cherry’s blazin’. My lungs feel like that cherry looks, but I’m doin’ my Kremealicious best…
Phoenix Rising Love it or leave us: I was incredibly impressed with your story “Phoenix Has an Inferiority Complex” (Amy Silverman, May 12). Being from New York, and having more recently moved here from Boston, I personally find myself saying more and more that the worst thing about Phoenix is…
Much to my amazement and delight, Arizona has finally delivered a powerful blow to the fundamentalist Mormon polygamist theocracy that controls all aspects of public and private life in Colorado City. On May 9, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano quietly signed into law a bill that will allow state education officials…
Somehow, the night just doesnt feel complete until the hot blonde in the “I ♥ Dick” tee shirt bends over, peels down the back of her jeans and asks the tuxedoed Richard Cheese, “Sign my ass?” It’s 10 o’clock on a Friday night in Las Vegas — actually, in nearby…
In matters of appearance, the southwestern willow flycatcher is no dodo: Barely half an ounce, with pale yellow and gray feathers, it’s as photogenic as any sparrow. But when it comes to Darwinian fitness, the flycatcher comes up short. Consider its relationship with the brown-headed cowbird. The cowbird, a far…
It ain’t easy being the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of the nightlife scene here in the PHX. For real, goin’ out every week, gettin’ our drink on, and sliding up on some of the finest squirrels you’ve ever seen may look like a sweet deal, but once in a while, the…
Who’s Alienated Now? Editor’s note: Michael Lacey’s satirical column “Alienated” (May 5) got readers’ attention in a big way — mostly because what he described (vigilantes drawing down on 800 Mexicans inside a Phoenix Roman Catholic church) is almost predictable in an era of “Minutemen” patrolling Arizona’s border with Mexico…
“Can I rub your tummy for luck?” asks the gorgeous dime-piece before me in the lounge of the James Hotel’s J Bar in Scottsdale, her smooth skin the color of Ghirardelli chocolate. As her hands are already caressing my abdominal protuberance, I figure it’s best to reply in the affirmative…
Go Suns! Rants and raves: I enjoyed your column on the Phoenix Suns immensely. Though I enjoyed the ride and all of the characters in ’92-’93, this year’s team surpasses that team in many areas (“Valley of the Suns,” John Dougherty, May 5). I think when you stay out all…
New Orleans is sexy. Denver is earthy. Austin rocks, Dallas shops. New York never sleeps. San Francisco is stunning. Los Angeles is star struck. Boston is really smart. And Phoenix? Phoenix is slumped on the Barcalounger eating potato chips and drinking beer, scratching itself, bored to tears. If Phoenix had…
No such thing as bad publicity? Tell that weak sauce to Jodi Upton, owner of the hip-hop club CBNC (short for Coyote Bay Night Club) at Scottsdale’s Papago Plaza, which has been hurtin’ ever since former Arizona State Sun Devils football player Brandon Falkner caught a fatal bullet in the…
Law and Disorder Quit your day jobs: The Ray Krone story shows what can happen when the law enforcement community gets it in for a guy. The old bird-in-hand philosophy is what I call it (“About Face,” Robert Nelson, April 21). I can’t believe that these four men you mention…
Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas announced at a press conference yesterday that he would not prosecute three off-duty baggage inspectors from Sky Harbor Airport who held the entire congregation at Immaculate Heart Church hostage at gunpoint. The South Phoenix churchgoers, virtually all Mexicans, were detained May 1 until police officers…
When it came to her firstborn son, Barbara Marin wasn’t taking any chances. So when her doctor warned her that putting the boy to sleep on his back was the only way to save him from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Marin listened. At the time, in 1997, the message was…
Jerry Colangelo dreams of winning a trifecta. And he would be well on his way if this town finally gets an NBA championship. He’s already won a World Series championship with the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks. And last week he was bestowed the honor and obligation of bringing back the gold…
If you’re fresh to P-town, and know the lay of the cit-tay about as well as Ashlee Simpson knows how to hold a musical note, then let Professor Kreme school your ignorant ass on the chillest spot in the PHX, the Zona’s world-renowned lounge paradise Chez Nous, at 675 West…
Blind Justice Prosecute the prosecutors: After reading Robert Nelson’s story regarding Ray Krone (“About Face,” April 21), I now do not believe O.J. Simpson committed murder(s). What utter incompetence! I advocate putting those who convicted Mr. Krone in the slammer and let them feel real justice. Why are these clowns…
Kyle Kaenel doesn’t walk through barns at Turf Paradise so much as swagger John Wayne style, as if someone has kicked him in the butt so hard that he can’t sit down. He’s 17 and lighting it up in his first year as a jockey, 2,000 miles from home and…
Recent events lead me to believe that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio may again be abusing his police powers for political purposes. That is, the paranoid and increasingly disoriented Arpaio is turning up the heat on some of us who have landed on his enemies list. In the past month,…
Phoenix New Times was honored with seven first-place awards — from column writing to magazine cover design — at the Arizona Press Club’s 81st annual banquet, held April 23 at the Heard Museum. In all, New Times won 20 Press Club awards. Staff writers Paul Rubin and Robert Nelson were…
Green Fairy Tales There is life here: I moved to Phoenix from California — the Bay Area — and I had all the usual regrets about moving from the big city to the not-so-big city. You know, Phoenix at first blush just seems like a ghost town, despite the fact…
Spring is coming, and buds now speckle the granite gray woods of southeastern Pennsylvania with forest green. The sun is shining, the melting snow is glaring. It’s all so bright that Ray Krone needs sunglasses. He’d like some Oakleys. Something functional but stylish to go with the new hair and…
