From here on out, 72-year-old Joe Arpaio isn’t the Maricopa County sheriff in my book. He’s an outlaw waiting to be hog-tied and strapped into one of his infamous restraint chairs scattered throughout Maricopa County’s jails. I now have proof, in writing, from one of Outlaw Joe’s top deputies, that…
A plush, blue-lit chapel of sin, with a black square bar for an altar: That’s Scottsdale’s Next on the inside. Slanted wood beams give the illusion of a church’s peaked ceiling. Arty pics of nude chicks line the walls, and equally hot waitresses keep the booze flowing like the Colorado…
Brewing National Scandal Grow up, Phoenix!: Fucking great story on the could-be art exhibition at ASU! But your writer should have slammed those idiots at the university for even talking about censoring the exhibit. And he should have slammed some of the artists for being pussies (“Heil to the Chief,”…
For those who play the game of catching online perverts, Raymond Dooley was the perfect villain. That is, exactly the type of guy the cyber-vigilantes at Perverted-Justice.com were looking for. Perverted-Justice found Dooley in late January in an online chat room — where the 23-year-old Michigan man entered into a…
Hey Joe, why are you hiding from me? Are you scared? Seems “the toughest sheriff in America” should have nothing to fear from me. All I’ve got is a pen, a notepad and a couple of hundred questions. You’ve got an army of deputies equipped with machine guns, tanks, wiretaps…
I’m perched on a stool at The Merc Bar, a bucket of vodka-Red Bull before me, with the superstylin’ sounds of Britain’s Groove Armada pulsing through the stereo, and — if I get any more relaxed — Mary-Kate Olsen’s bony butt could knock me over by bumping into me. Jett’s…
Arpaio’s Dumb and Mean Joe’s gotta go: Three cheers to John Dougherty. Your article was the best news I have read in a long time (“In the Crosshairs,” June 24). It’s truly grand to see people like County Attorney Rick Romley stand up to Joe Arpaio and not prosecute the…
Blair Sato edges his white ’95 Nissan 240SX up to the front of the line, out in front of about a dozen other cars waiting their turn to race around the wide oval of a racetrack, and grins. “We’re next,” he says, tightening his grip around the steering wheel and…
Want to throw the fear of God into Phoenix elected officials, downtown business tycoons and their self-serving cheerleaders at the Arizona Republic? Want to get them to finally pay attention to you, the little guy, whose taxes keep getting sucked up into massive big-box projects that line the pockets of…
Joe Blows Capitalizing on an opportunity: Outstanding reporting in your story on the sheriff (“In the Crosshairs,” John Dougherty, June 24). I worked for the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office for 13 and a half years, and I knew within the first week of his being elected what an ass he…
Curators at the Arizona State University Art Museum are planning an exhibition of contemporary art titled “Democracy in America,” just in time for the presidential election this fall. And, not coincidentally, just in time for the third and final presidential debate, scheduled to take place just hundreds of feet away,…
How’s this for a get-rich scheme? You get elected to public office, say, sheriff. You start scowling like John Wayne and jam the jails full. You put the cons in stripes and house them in surplus Army tents, where four guards oversee 1,800 inmates. Your detention officers beat up prisoners,…
For six years, hot dog vendor Hernan Rivera played hide-and-seek with county health inspectors. Sometimes the Maricopa County Environmental Services Department inspectors would pop up unannounced at one of the three hot dog carts Rivera has stationed throughout Phoenix. They would peek inside at the rows of bacon-wrapped Sonoran-style hot…
I’m all alone in the ‘Zona this Saturday night. Jett’s jetted off to NYC for a little vay-cay, leaving me by my lonesome in P-town. (Sigh.) Never thought I’d admit to missing 116 pounds of bitchy lipsticker, but I reckon I do. Thought I’d stay home, sip Hennessy, and play…
Go Ask Alice A loyal listener: Wow! I guess you’re not a fan of Alice Cooper’s radio show, eh (“Alice in Revolver Land,” Brendan Joel Kelley, June 3)? I read your article, and between bong hits I couldn’t stop laughing. Funny stuff. I’m actually writing to you because I do…
Linda Saville leans across the table in a downtown Phoenix restaurant and recites the pledge she made at the moment her brother was acquitted of conspiring to kill Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “I swore I was not going to let this happen to someone else,” she said about that fateful Friday…
Dora! Dora! Dora! Think piece: Okay, which is it? Dora Schriro is bad because she coddles prisoners, or she’s good because she’s come into right-wing-nutville Arizona with a liberal attitude toward corrections (“Dora’s Darlings,” Bruce Rushton, June 3)? It seems that your writer wanted to have it both ways, and…
I’m situated at the bar at TT Roadhouse, a pint of Harp before me in a frosty glass, awaiting the Pink of P-town to show her pretty lipsticker kisser. Suddenly, the Jettster slaps my back, a vodka-rocks in one paw and a pint of her own in the other. Apparently,…
Scott Holden walked into court on May 2 certain of victory. He was representing Diane Brauch, whose husband, James, had fallen in a Scottsdale nursing home and ultimately died from his injuries. The facts of the case were horrific. Left unattended for hours, James Brauch fell and shattered his leg…
Robby Hammock remembers his every glorious hop, skip and jump into the arms of Randy Johnson after the Perfect Game last month. “I know I looked like Mini-Me out there on the mound, but I was so flippin’ excited,” says Hammock, the unlikely starting catcher of the Arizona Diamondbacks and…
Private Practice Patients and prudence: Rarely am I ever so moved by an article that I feel I must write in, but your story on the Havasupai really touched me (“Indian Givers,” Paul Rubin, May 27). I am a registered nurse and have been in the operating room for 12…
It’s a hot, humpalicious night in the ‘Zona, and yours truly’s pounding down pistachio at the local Baskin-Robbins. Suddenly, a fembot frame darkens my dish. “Knew I’d find you here,” says the Jettster. “We have to work tonight, Porky. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be on a diet?” “Yeah, I’ve…
