Saint Travis, hear our prayer. Patron of all-American boys, role models and virginal heartthrobs, protector of sweet-swinging lefty hitters, first baggers, ambidextrous athletes, lead us in the basepaths of righteousness in His game’s sake. Step to the plate and knock one into the cheap seats. Deliver us from the ignominies…
Snuff Garrett leans forward. He pulls a smoke out of his bronze, sombrero-shaped cigarette holder, takes a puff and dumps the ashes in one of his many silver, spur-shaped ashtrays. He tries to describe the laid-back life he leads at Idle Spurs, his six-and-a-half-acre spread amongst the lush, green hills…
Menu Can’t Stand Faithful Flash fans know that Fife and Ann Symington have completed their first week of study at the Scottsdale Culinary Institute–and undoubtedly are already freaked about their prospects for future employment. The Flash suggests they apply to run the chuck wagon at Nixon’s, a restaurant/bar slated to…
Candidates for justice of the peace like to say their courtrooms are truly “the people’s courts” in Arizona. But even Judge Judy might be appalled at the judicial shenanigans in Maricopa County as the September 8 primary election nears. In Scottsdale, one candidate has dumped more than $140,000 of his…
Jail Grouse Regarding Tony Ortega’s article (“Paying the Price,” August 27) on jail costs: Boo hoo! I’m weeping for those who curse at and otherwise provoke correction officers. Ortega calls Scott Norberg a former “Tempe football star.” Why does Ortega not call him what he really is–a former dope-selling, cop-attacking…
Once upon a time, in a land of citrus trees and money and neighborhoods with names like Paradise Valley, there lived a fairy princess and an ogre. The young princess–Robin Shaw–was so beautiful that the people chose her to lead them after seeing her pretty picture on signs posted across…
Shaping tomorrow through the youth of today! –Arizona Boys Ranch motto Lord help me, I need help, I need help . . . –Nicholaus Contreraz, the day before he died at Arizona Boys Ranch Autopsy photos are released, and on Thursday morning they’re on the front page of the daily…
In an otherwise ho-hum political season, the GOP attorney general primary has emerged as the race to watch–as much for its pure entertainment value as for what it divulges about the condition of Arizona’s Republican party. Tom McGovern and John Kaites both want to be Arizona’s top law enforcement officer,…
Harry F. Strong has these scraps of names, events, memories and deals, and as we sit in the semi-darkened living room, Mexican voices lap against the silence. Strong is in his late 60s, and the cancer eats his colon, liver and lungs and, most likely, other organs. By nature he…
Welcome to Bizarro World,” said assistant state attorney general Mitchell Klein near the beginning of his address to the Arizona Association of Industries on August 14. Last year, in a panel discussion on whether environmental regulation in Arizona is excessive and harmful to industry, Klein argued in favor of the…
Fife’s Kitchen It’s back to school for two unlikely Arizona figures! Fife and Ann Symington began classes at the Scottsdale Culinary Institute on Monday. Apparently, the Fifester considers restaurateuring as his next career move. Ann is already an investor in Roy’s, a new Scottsdale restaurant. Of course, there’s the little…
Sheriff Joe Arpaio continues to grab airtime whenever he can, whether it’s to announce that inmates will help stuff county elections envelopes or to call in his posse to investigate pet abuse. But what the sheriff hasn’t been talking about is how much money county taxpayers have had to shell…
For more than six months now, international news has been dominated by a story about a blowjob. While bombs have exploded, shots have been fired, cancer and AIDS have done their miserable business as usual, the most important issue according to the media has been whether Monica Lewinsky did or…
BFA Blues Your article (“I Was Sick . . . and Ye Visited Me Not,” Terry Greene Sterling, August 6) is continuing proof that the Baptist Foundation of Arizona is not a charitable foundation and should have that status revoked by the state and be forced to pay taxes to…
In Attack of the 70-Foot Courtesy Lady, he immortalized a high-rise-size hausfrau who wipes out an entire city with her “patent leather purveyors of death.” In What I Did to “Psycho,” he presented a revisionist version of the Hitchcock classic in which, dressed as all the characters in the movie…
Lori Romaneck says she felt sure of something when she stepped into the Phoenix Police Department on June 9, 1993. “I thought they’d make sure I wasn’t totally nuts,” she recalls, “then they’d go dig up Mother. Simple.” The Phoenix woman, then 32, had kept an enormous secret for more…
The townsfolk of Christopher Creek, a hamlet in the Mogollon Rim country, first spotted the young elk last year. Residents of the Gila County village say they’re used to seeing wildlife in the forests surrounding their homes, but never had an animal so captivated them. Nicknamed “Spike” by a local…
Senator John Kaites really ought to run for sheriff. The Deputy Dawg of Arizona politics has successfully sponsored a piece of legislation even more brilliant than his failed attempt to have new mothers drug-tested (by testing the umbilical cord–and I’m not making this up). On May 29, Governor Jane Hull…
Let’s get one thing straight. Barring the discovery that she had a tryst with Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky–and Linda Tripp got to watch–Jane Dee Hull will be reelected. By a wide margin. It’s a no-brainer. The economy’s good, the opposition’s weak and, after Fife Symington, Jane Hull looks like…
Is That a Banana in Your Pocket or Just a U.S. Senator? Senator John McCain is promoting the Spur Cross public land swindle in Scottsdale for a pal of his from Cincinnati–the wealthy manager of Chiquita bananas. Amy Silverman points out that Mr. Chiquita is a major contributor to U.S…
1956–Gene Keidel and DiAnne Kidder marry in Peoria, Illinois. September 17, 1966–The last time DiAnne Keidel is seen alive. January 9, 1967–Fire at the Citrus Way home kills two of the Keidel children and seriously injures a third. January 10, 1967–Police investigator concludes that the fire had started accidentally on…
In May 1995, Lori Romaneck asked a clerk at the state’s Office of Vital Records for copies of two death certificates. “I wanted to bury my two sisters with my mother, and I needed the right paperwork,” she says. “That was it.” But at that moment, Romaneck saw something that…
