Flashes

The Morning NAFTA Imagine Governor J. Fife Symington III’s dismay as a supporter of the North American Free Trade Agreement when the radical enviros at the Southwest Center for Biological Diversity convinced NAFTA’s Commission for Environmental Cooperation to evaluate the effects that the growth of the Army’s Fort Huachuca and…

The Great UFO Cover-up

There is no doubt that something real passed over Phoenix on the night of March 13. Hundreds of people reported what they saw passing slowly in the sky. Two New Times writers were among those witnesses. David Holthouse and Michael Kiefer were in separate parts of the Valley that night,…

Informer Friend of Fife

Every day, television news crews form a gauntlet outside the federal courthouse, waiting to fire questions at the attorneys in Governor J. Fife Symington III’s criminal trial. The governor’s lead defense attorney, John Dowd, is always eager to feed the media horde with bombastic comments, animated expressions and occasional profanity…

Going Postal

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed round. –U.S. Postal Service motto You receive a letter telling you to come for an interview at seven in the morning. It says you should wear sturdy shoes, because you…

Letters

No More Sheriff Nice Guy I am going to run for sheriff of Maricopa County in the next election and put a stop to Joe Arpaio’s “country-club jail” system (“Say It Ain’t Joe,” Jeremy Voas, June 12). I am much better qualified to be the sheriff than Arpaio, and I…

Is Motorola Harboring Diversity or Disrespect?

In the summer of 1993, Motorola’s Scottsdale-based Government Systems Technology Group treated its employees to an in-house video. Along with campy old Motorola commercials and marketplace updates, the reel profiled Doris Gray, an African-American senior contracts manager. Gray, Motorolans learned, is an art collector, philanthropist and businesswoman with a “dizzying…

Bankers Dozin’

Jim Cockerham’s reluctant testimony during the fifth week of Governor J. Fife Symington III’s criminal trial exploded yet another Symington myth: that he was a successful developer who got blindsided by a collapsing real estate market. Not so, testified Cockerham, who was chief financial officer of The Symington Company. In…

Flashes

Snuff, Already The Arizona Department of Corrections seems to be suffering some insecurity about what it does. A New Times writer called the DOC last week and asked to be put on the waiting list to witness an execution. DOC spokesman Mike Arra replied that he didn’t think there was…

Letters

Fumbled Pass Whoever composed the Flashes tidbit about Jake Plummer (June 5) should have noted that those women confronting him want more than a quarter back. Lloyd Clark Phoenix Clef Notes Kudos to New Times and to Michael Kiefer for his well-researched article about the travails of the Phoenix Symphony…

East Meets West

There are people who’d tell you that pollution in Phoenix is getting as bad as it is in L.A. These people obviously haven’t been to L.A. It’s nearly 5 p.m. as I drive in on I-10, and my throat soon feels like I’ve spent hours in a room full of…

Moist Towelette’s High School Reunion

It’s the teen vengeance fantasy du jour: Scorned by mean-spirited classmates for being “different,” a high school misfit flees Arizona for the more tolerant environs of Southern California, blossoms, then finally returns for the 10-year reunion in a triumphant blaze of fashion fabulosity that sets the student body on its…

Hacker, Cracker, Watchman, Spy

Like a lot of thieves, Gambit only works at night. It’s half past 10 in Phoenix when he boots up his laptop. Darth Vader’s voice intones “What is thy bidding, my master?” Gambit double-clicks on a desktop icon shaped like a chess queen and offers no reply. He’s about to…

Questionable Characters Make Way Into Posses

“If any member misuses their identification in any way, they’re kicked out of the posse. That’s one of the biggest no-no’s,” says Executive Posse Commander Marvin Weide. Perhaps because of the sheer volume of volunteers eager to join Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s civilian army, however, several undesirables have been kicked out…

Manny, Joe & Tat

The man, we’ll call him Phuong, had laid down a considerable bet on the Phoenix Suns, and the Suns had lost. Phuong followed that mistake with another. When the bookmakers he’d placed the bet with arrived to collect their money, Phuong told them to collect the money from a friend…

Cornered by Fife

Terry Lynam, one of Governor J. Fife Symington III’s defense attorneys, sauntered down the federal courthouse steps wearing a big smile. He was delighted because the defense had scored what he believed were significant points during another round of mind-numbing testimony at Symington’s criminal trial. The testimony had centered on…

Flashes

In the Hole With Quayle It seems that Veep turned American Graduate School of International Management professor Dan Quayle is not a big favorite on the golf links–at least not among the caddies. Pete Sager, who has caddied for Quayle “about 15 to 20 times” at Paradise Valley Country Club,…

Scream Dement

Arizona is supposedly booming, a happening place. But for some seriously ill people, all that’s happening is the abuse and neglect they’re suffering from the people charged with taking care of them. Beci Johnson is 21 years old. She’s been having anxiety attacks since she was 16. Symptoms include agoraphobia,…

Letters

Service Men Behaving Badly I read the article “Casualty Sex” (Howard Stansfield, May 29) with great interest. During my 23 years of active duty with the Air Force, I have seen many abuses committed by members of the active forces who considered themselves above all others, as was possibly the…

Say It Ain’t Joe

A recent article in the Arizona Business Gazette announced that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio would address a Chamber of Commerce breakfast and “share his secrets of self-promotion.” Arpaio apparently believes he deserves some of the credit for Phoenix’s robust economy. He told the ABG, “I equate crime, publicity and…

Gilbert’s One-Man War on Crime

For 15 years, Arizona Republic editorial cartoonist Steve Benson has vigilantly policed Arizona politics, unleashing attacks on fat cats, sacred cows, snowbirds and whale-savers. In 1993, he won a Pulitzer Prize. Since then, he’s broken with the Mormon church (his late grandfather, Ezra Taft Benson, was president of the denomination),…

Steve Benson’s Cartoonist/Cop Crimestoppers

Kids, Just Say No–to Biker Cults! Gilbert-area residents, be on the lookout for dangerous cultists who are roaming quiet neighborhoods “seeking whom they may devour.” They are suspiciously clean-cut (they prefer black trousers and white shirts, with narrow black ties) and usually travel in twos, on bicycles. Do not approach…

Is Anybody Listening?

Maestro Hermann Michael, the new music director for the Phoenix Symphony, is a natty man who wears two-tone shoes and layers sweater vests over short-sleeved shirts, even when temperatures outside reach 100. He beams and beckons his way through rehearsals with the orchestra, slashing out perfect Nike swooshes with his…