You pay for the paper, and you write the paper! Why? Because the Rep blows, son. One staple of late night comedians like Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, Carson Daly, David Letterman, etc. is a “funny pics” bit where the host will run through a number of photos, offering up amusing…
What I wanna know is how long before someone attempts a dive off this puppy? If the Denver Post, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and certain online testimonials are to be believed, the much ballyhood Grand Canyon Skywalk may be a colossal dud, an eyesore, or at the very…
So, like, frogs are hosers, eh? Shane Doan shows the Frenchies his stick. If you think America’s becomming too PC, take a look at doin’s up in the Great White North, where makin’ fun of frogs will get the Parliament on your ass. By frogs, I mean those cheese-eatin’ surrender…
Preach on, my revolutionary, rich-ass brother…. Right-wing lip-flapper Darrell Ankarlo of the Mormon-owned KTAR 92.3FM had an eyebrow-lifter of a show this a.m., dealing with the statements of Rage Against the Machine firebrand Zack de la Rocha during the recent Rage reunion at Coachella. If you haven’t heard about it,…
Hate signage left over from Tuesday’s counter-protest at the capitol… I tore-ass down to the big pro-immigration march Tuesday, where I made like a Scud missle for the United for a Sovereign America counter-protest, consisting of 50-to-100 dillweeds led by local Kia-dealer and Hispanic-panic-purveyor Rusty Childress. Childress and his screwy…
Watson in better days… The (alleged) salon bandit strikes again! Minus the hand-in-bag trick this time. Seems Joe Watson’s reaching out for help from friends and family from behind the walls of Sheriff Joe’s Lower Buckeye housing unit, asking for some help with scrilla ’cause he needs it to pay…
Come on, Newsaxonites, let’s hug it out! Well, seems the neo-Nazi numbnuts at Newsaxon.com, aka the racist MySpace, have blocked New Times’ IP address from accessing their site ever since Wednesday, when I posted the item ” Newsaxon.com, the neo-Nazi MySpace, with hot racist chicks galore.” What, are the skinheads…
Forgottensoul88: The face of hate never looked so cute. White-trash pinheads who dig Adolf Hitler, swastikas, and worshippin’ Wotan now have a place to let their fascist freak flags fly without worrying about what Zionists and race-mixers have to say. It’s called Newsaxon.com, a racist MySpace, with nearly 2,000 members…
New butt-buddy to the 9/11 moonbats? Um, not yet, anyway… It’s been a while since I’ve heard from my ol’ pal Sander Hicks, who has the distinction of being one of the more intelligent and (generally) reasonable 9/11 troofers that I met at the Chandler 9/11 Accountability Conference, though I…
Jeez, J.D., eat something for Chrissakes, you look like an ofay Star Jones! I was monitoring Barry “Gee, I wish I was still” Young this morn on KFYI 550 AM, and I heard a familiar Foghorn Leghorn type-a voice, and soon realized it was my old bud from NC, the…
Let it all hang out: Rusty’s pic labeled “Jamaica Hedonism.” Prejudiced playboy Rusty Childress is one complex fella. Every Thursday he welcomes fellow wackjobs to his anti-Mexican fiestas, like the ones described in this week’s Bird column, the item titled “Bigot Bash.” The putative Republican (if you judge him by…
Amparo’s birthday suit: boots, gloves, hat, and little else. (photo by Bala Raman) Tuesday’s beauty is the limber and lovely Amparo Elizabeth, who hails from Honduras originally, but was raised in the Zona and has been modeling since age nine. This exotic enchantress boasts Spanish blood, her first name meaning…
Barry “Naw, I aint” Young, KFYI’s pie-faced horse’s patootie. Anyone who’s ever read stroke-mag Hustler knows of a feature called “Asshole of the Month,” wherein politicians, ideologues and media types are skewered. I’m thinking of starting a version called “PHX A-hole of the Week,” to honor P-town butt-holes deserving of…
Steve Haworth, Jr. (left) with his dad, fetish king Steve Haworth, Sr. (right). UPDATE: MEMORIAL SERVICES FOR STEVEN ARTHUR HAWORTH, JR. WILL BE THIS SATURDAY APRIL 21, 1:30 PM AT LINCOLN HEIGHTS CHRISTIAN CHURCH 2121 EAST LINCOLN DRIVE, PHOENIX, AZ 85016 FOR MORE INFO., PLEASE CHECK HAWORTH’S MYSPACE MEMORIAL PAGE…
One of Imus’ old albums being sold on eBay: Pretty much says it all… ***UPDATE: Since the posting of this commentary, the Associated Press has reported that CBS radio has fired Don Imus, this coming on the heels of MSNBC’s suspension of their simulcast of his show. This is the…
One of the few ribbons in town Phil Gordon hasn’t cut… With a handful of reporters and supporters looking on, mayoral hopeful Rev. Jarrett Maupin, the boy-wonder of PHX politics, cut the ribbon on his new campaign office downtown today, promising to “kick Phil’s butt in this election,” and taking…
Two clowns flippin’ you the bird… Beetlejuice mobbed by fans at the Clubhouse… So the Killers of Comedy from the Howard Stern Show were in Tempe at the Clubhouse Music Venue this past Saturday, and I had to make the scene to see my two favorite Stern show regs: the…
Go, Jarrett, go: Whip Phil’s flabby white keister… The word’s out: The Reverend Jarrett Maupin II will be a contender in the Phoenix 2007 mayoral race in a bid to unseat Mayor Phil “Goober” Gordon. A formal announcement will come sometime this week, but already the prez of the Arizona…
The spooky-sexy Sister Kenyattasaurus Rex… Okay, so last week, I told you we were flippin’ the script to Thump Day Diva from Hump Day Honey, and now I’m adding a Friday Femme Fatale, what gives? Jeez, people, I have other stuff to do too, so Monday Mammas and Tuesday Tarts…
That ain’t Monopoly money Phil’s playin’ with… In case you have any doubts whom Mayor Phil Gordon really represents, check this under-the-radar March 2 story by the Phoenix Business Journal titled “Developers bankrolling Gordon’s re-election campaign.” Gordon’s Phil for Phoenix PAC has raised over $655K according to the article, and…
Joe Watson in custody… Some Mondays are crazier than others, and this one was particularly whack, with the news that ex-New Times staff writer Joe Watson was popped Friday for allegedly sticking up six Valley businesses, including three salons in Scottsdale, hence the catchy sobriquet “the salon bandit.” Scottsdale detectives…
Could it work for the rednecks? Just back from a three-day weekend in La-La Land, where you can’t help but be struck by how far more ethnically diverse the City of Angels is than the PHX. Angelenos are not nearly as worked up over illegal immigration as many Sand Landers…
