History of Deceit

The City of Phoenix’s $878 million bond election, early voting in which is already under way, comes down to one issue: trust. Do you believe bond proponents’ pitch trumpeted by Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon that the bonds can be sold “with no new taxes”? Or do you think it’s impossible…

Dubplate Divas

A high-pitched cackle and a black strip of thong. That’s what DJ Lady Tribe and I hear and see from the back door of downtown’s Brickhouse Theater, as the lez-and-het-happy Milla Jovovich bum-rushes us, her glutes suddenly shimmering in the streetlight before she covers them up and bounces back to…

Letters From the Issue of Thursday, March 2, 2006

Coyotes Ugly Filling a need: It’s amazing how the Phoenix press, except for New Times, mostly misses the point of what’s going on. The Arizona Republic and local TV seldom try to get beyond what’s easy to report. I’m speaking of how there’s so much more to the Phoenix Coyotes’…

The Chosen One

One Sunday evening in February, Deedra Abboud serves dinner at her north Phoenix home. The first course is lentil soup and lamb, followed by a dish of pickles, carrots and olives. Falafel, hummus, crab samboosa, cucumber sauce. And then, pot roast and mashed potatoes. You can take the girl out…

Donkey Kong

Dennis DeConcini was always a centrist Democrat, a “Pinto Democrat” as they used to be called here, but like many moderates in the party, he still felt a deep fondness for the intellectual and moral champions of the liberal cause. One such man was Phoenix attorney John Frank, among other…

Big Eeeewww!

The Bird likes nothing better than watching what Hollywood does with real-life catastrophes and miscreants. Whether it’s softly lighted and eyelinered queer cowboys (Brokeback Mountain, my feathered ass!) or desert island plane crashes peopled by a bevy of sexy supermodel survivors (this taloned scribbler isn’t too proud to admit that…

Rogue Cops

The Colorado City Marshal’s Office is in a state of insurrection. And nobody in authority — from Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano on down — seems to give a damn. As the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Prophet Warren Jeffs exerts absolute control over the…

Caramel Kisses

“Damn, Kreme, peep all the chicas calientes and fly papis in line to get into Coach & Willie’s,” spits the still-switch-hittin’ Shakira of the PHX, a.k.a. the Jettster. “I’m goin’ home with something fine tonight, for real.” “Yeah, Pan Dulce pulls in more brown-skinned eye candy than a Daddy Yankee…

Letters From the Issue of Thursday, February 23, 2006

Critic Critiqued Unwanted guilt trip: I love New Times. I believe there are many imitations of it in the Valley, but few come close. It’s very prevalent in my life. My work advertises in it. I find out what is going on nightly because of it. My friends are in…

The Case of the Jealous Lover Boy

Gary Sedlacek is awakened by someone pounding on a side door to his home in downtown Phoenix’s historic Coronado District. It’s about 5:30 on a dark, drizzly morning, February 19, 2005. At the door is Shawn Drake, Sedlacek’s 29-year-old neighbor from a few doors down on North Richland Street. Drake…

Head Games

“You know, when I get high, I always get horny for white women,” Tommy Chong told The Bird just last week. Yes, that Tommy Chong, of Cheech and Chong fame. This winged wordsmith had been having difficulties lately at local head shops, so it decided to give the world’s most…

Howling Financial Woes

The Phoenix Coyotes betting scandal that has ensnared hockey legend and Coyotes minority owner Wayne Gretzky and his movie actress wife is just the latest in a series of financial shenanigans linked to the team’s ownership. The Coyotes’ financial success has always been a huge gamble for the franchise’s majority…

Monsters Ball

Last call at Jonny Noir’s Filthy/Gorgeous Friday at The Biz: The Chloë Sevigny of P-town is off in a grimy nook with her tongue buried deep betwixt the lips of some effed-up same-sex siren, and I’m trying to score one last vodka-Red Bull for the road. I know, I know…

Letters From the Issue of Thursday, February 16, 2006

Murder, He Wrote Better than fiction: What a great story by Paul Rubin on “The Case of the Grim Tweaker” (February 2)! When I first looked at it, I thought there was no way that I would read an article that long. Then, before I looked up again, I had…

Bollywood Dreams

Once upon a time (okay, about a month ago), there was a woman named Samantha Riggs who so loved Hindi films (otherwise known as Bollywood, India’s global cinematic export) that she staged a tribute, Bollywood Love Rules. Onstage, a chorus of women appeared, wearing traditional saris, and they sang (actually,…

He’s a Wanker

The Bird likes nothing better than seeing locals getting a little national recognition, especially when props don’t involve somebody like Sheriff Joe Arpaio disgracing himself in public. And so this pretend pigeon was pleased when Glendale mom Alice Rubio, who can safely lay claim to being the biggest Howard Stern…

Feds Probe District 20

This is a career opportunity for U.S. Attorney Paul Charlton. The 45-year-old Republican prosecutor could be the public servant who restores integrity to elections in Maricopa County. Charlton’s decision to launch a grand jury investigation into the September 2004 District 20 Republican primary and subsequent recount for a state House…

Gutter Depravity

So I’m kickin’ it like a 300-pound Charles Bukowski in the butt-end of the gloriously sleazy Ky’s Place, situated in a shabby strip mall on the northwest corner of 32nd Street and Indian School Road, when One-Eyed Josh decides to pull a Sammy Davis Jr. and show me how he…

Letters From the Issue of Thursday, February 9, 2006

Humble Howard It’s Howard’s world; we only live in it: Great article on Howard Stern. Alice Rubio is the perfect example of a Stern fan (“After Shock,” Sarah Fenske, January 26). I also went through withdrawals during the show’s hiatus from “testicle radio” until the show’s arrival on the future…

The Case of the Grim Tweaker

Dave Uribe reports for duty at 6 a.m. on May 10, a Tuesday. Uribe had been a Phoenix police officer for 22 of his 48 years. He still loved being a street cop in the sprawling Cactus Park precinct, in the west and northwest parts of the city. Every day’s…

What Would Jesus Do?

As fans of the Vatican and altar boy porn already know, Monsignor Dale Fushek, founder of America’s largest Catholic youth ministry, has been under house arrest for the past several months while he awaits trial on 10 counts of sexual misconduct. What Fushek followers may not know is that Father…

Straitjacket Jan Brewer

We are inching dangerously close to the point where elections in Arizona can be suspended for an indefinite period of time for the flimsiest of reasons. Claiming to be acting at the request of the U.S. Department of Defense, Secretary of State Jan Brewer is seeking unprecedented authority from the…