Arizona State University president Michael Crow’s stepped up his campaign to turn the most populous main campus in the nation into America’s most sterile institution of higher learning. Having already neutered ASU’s unruly fraternity community and squashed any display of politically oriented window decorations in dorm windows (because college kids…
Polygamyland On the run: I fully expect to see a cartoon in New Times soon of staff writer John Dougherty — white mane flowing and tape recorder in outstretched hand — chasing tall, skinny polygamist leader Warren Steed Jeffs down that long driveway leading to the polygamists’ new temple in…
Nothing about Theresa’s Noxzema-fresh face, curvy body, and just-washed auburn hair reveals the hell she put herself through for more than 20 years. “I know I don’t look like it now,” Theresa says, sipping an iced chai tea at Willow House, a downtown Phoenix coffee house, “but I did some…
There’s a party going on Thursday nights at the Shaker Room — if you’re savvy enough to find the dance floor. The club, practically hidden across a patio and up a flight of stairs behind Martini Ranch, is, to begin with, too far back from Stetson Drive to draw in…
Welcome to America, where our fearless leader’s busy golfing and barely bothered by reports that the CIA’s been hiding al-Qaeda prisoners in secret Eastern European jails formerly operated by the Soviet KGB. Where our entertainment’s provided by Team America’s second-in-command, Dick “Terrorist Your Game Is Through” Cheney, who’s lobbying Congress…
“Suck a duck, Jett, you’re getting collard juice all over my brand-new kicks!” I yelp as the AC/DC Gabrielle Union spoons some greens into her kisser. “I just got these K-Swiss at Steven’s Shoes, you crazy chickenhead.” “Mmmm, these truffled collards are delish,” she moans, as if in heat. “And…
Meth and the City An out-of-reach problem?: I just finished reading the excellent articles on the methamphetamine problem in Phoenix (“The Perfect Drug,” Joe Watson, Robert Nelson and Paul Rubin, November 3). Thank you so much, New Times, for once again being honest with the public. The drug problem is…
It’s getting near closing time at Tempe’s IKEA, and Kelli Quinn is inching farther away from the front entrance. Like some lonely patron in a smoky bar during last call, she’s hesitant to leave. But instead of horny drunks, Quinn is surrounded by screwed-together chairs and heat-veneered tables and polystyrene…
Okay, so it’s a furniture store. But one of the most popular items for sale at IKEA is its two-and-a-half-pound bag of frozen Swedish meatballs, the very same meatballs that customers line up for at the store’s indoor cafes around the globe. But county health inspectors are busy trying to…
A massive stone temple jutting from the crest of an oak-and-juniper knoll pierces the serenity of the broad horizon of the seductively beautiful Texas hill country. The 90-foot-high edifice is topped with a cupola and buttressed by a grand sweeping staircase leading to the main entrance. Circular columns resembling towers…
Until it saw some stupid cow with her left tit hanging out in the middle of a Target parking lot, The Bird was squawking with glee about the new, just-passed Chandler ordinance allowing mothers to breast-feed in public. This avian thought, “Why shouldn’t moms of every stripe — even ugly,…
Now, y’all know P-town’s bi-Kelly Monaco and I have both got us a sweet tooth or three, myself being partial to a pocketful of Abba-Zaba, and the Jettster having a thing for the eye candy of both sexes. So it’s a mystery to me why we took so long to…
Siren Call Telling it like it is: Well, finally somebody told the truth about Pat Cantelme. I can hardly believe New Times had the cojónes to do it, considering his scary reputation (“Ambulance Chasers,” Sarah Fenske, October 27). Your writer really told a compelling story about the ambulance business and…
You would have thought cops were raiding the stronghold of Pablo Escobar. Early on a warm August morning, 38 Phoenix cops, many in black fatigues with automatic weapons, stormed the home of Daniel Watkins, looking for drugs. Instead, after three hours of dissecting the house in northeast Phoenix, all they…
The Bird’s nested in Phoenix long enough to know that this place has its share of shady, self-important, half-witted yokels. Even so, it’s still occasionally surprised by how Mayberry this backward burg can be. Take our fearful leaders’ recent response to a city council vote that will allow Donald Trump…
Alien Nation Compassion for migrants: What I liked about your story “Postcards From the Edge” (Jimmy Magahern, October 20) was that you didn’t demonize U.S. citizens who are opposed to illegal immigration. The article was a thoughtful look at the immigration saga through the eyes of young people right out…
The six members of the Phoenix Police Department’s C-32 homicide squad, plus their sergeant, gather at a midtown diner for their usual early lunch. It’s 11 a.m. on May 6, a mild day for Phoenix when the temperature will only reach 81 degrees. Three of the detectives are on call…
He’s not your stereotypical firefighter: beefy, deliciously cocky, over-the-top charismatic. Instead, Pat Cantelme is a small man with a soft voice and a certain reserve. In his polo shirt and wire-rimmed glasses, he looks like a guy who’d do your taxes, not lead a firefighters union. But that’s what he…
State Republican Senator Jack Harper’s enraging a powerful legislator with his determined effort to get to the bottom of a potentially explosive vote-counting scandal at the Maricopa County Elections Department. The second-term senator from Surprise plans to hold legislative hearings early next year into the controversial September 7, 2004, District…
New York and Phoenix — New Times Media and Village Voice Media, the nation’s leading alternative media companies, today announced a definitive agreement to merge. The new company will be called Village Voice Media and will publish free weekly newspapers and Web sites in seventeen of the nation’s largest markets…
Molden Days Lies and more lies: I have children at Mesquite Junior High School, and I didn’t want to believe what I read in New Times about the black mold problem (“Mold Attacks!,” Robert Nelson, October 13). The health problems you describe from black mold poisoning are scaring parents and…
Rudy Adler steps into the den of his parents’ house, a sprawling, ranch-style home in an old-moneyed section of Paradise Valley, and pulls up some scanned digital photos on his PowerBook. “This is a nice one,” he says, staring at a shot of what looks like an empty stretch of…
